In an interview with the Associated Press on Tuesday, Donald Trump appeared unable to remember how many people he is vetting to be his running mate—possibly because he isn’t actually vetting anyone. “I have a list of people that I would like,” which has been narrowed to “five or six people.” Sure!

Donald Trump has announced that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie will serve as chairman of his transition team, identifying personnel who would become part of a Trump White House. Christie will be working closely with Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner, whose father he sent to prison.

On Tuesday night Mary Pat Christie stood onstage behind Donald Trump and dutifully smiled along with all the inane remarks he made, as is her obligation as Chris Christie’s wife. Her eyes told a different story.

Poor Chris Christie. Can’t even enjoy the music of a singer who hates him in public without a thousand other attendees jostling him for handshakes, taking selfies, and capturing his “Purple Rain” singalongs and exquisitely well-timed Max Weinberg air drumming on camera for all eternity.

Fist-pumpin’ Jersey boy Chris Christie took time last night to relax, unwind, and forget all about the existential dread that comes with publicly supporting Donald Trump, at a concert given in Brooklyn by his favorite musician, Bruce Springsteen.

Donald Trump, who has until now run a campaign almost entirely free of professionals, is beginning to pad out his staff with his former rivals’ sloppy seconds.

Earlier today on this very website, my colleague Sam Biddle referred to a recent photograph of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie pouring a bag of M&Ms into a box of M&Ms as “embarrassing” and inexplicable—an analysis as unfair as it is incorrect. Because in this instance, for what may be the very first time in his life, Chris Christie did the right thing.

Chris Christie, who acted wickedly in a past life and must now mortify himself as Donald Trump’s personal jester, has debased himself once more, having been seen inexplicably pouring a bag of M&Ms into a box of M&Ms. Instead of shrugging off this scandal on account of being A) an adult, B) a U.S. governor, or C) a man with self-respect, he called into a New Jersey talk radio show.

It’s always a pleasure to hear candidates talk shit about each other—all the more so when they don’t know everyone can hear them. This is true even when the conversation is only mildly rude, as it was between Hillary Clinton and Chris Matthews during a commercial break Monday, audio of which was obtained by the Washington Post.

In an appearance Monday at Youngstown-Warren Regional Airport in Vienna, Ohio, Donald Trump, in the course of criticizing John Kasich for abandoning his duties as governor in order to campaign for president also took a swipe at his friend and hostage Chris Christie for the very same thing.

With less than a week to go before a strike deadline, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has decided that he needs a break, and will be taking a vacation with his wife of 30 years, Mary Pat Christie. Their anniversary is Tuesday.

Today in New Jersey, Chris Christie held a press conference that appeared to mostly be a response to memes about the weirdo glass-eyed stare he had on his face during Donald Trump’s Super Tuesday press event. Speaking to reporters, Christie reiterated that he “wasn’t being held hostage” which is something that only someone currently being held hostage would feel the need to announce.

Proof that miracles can touch just about anyone: Chris Christie, already a deeply unlikeable politician, managed to noticeably drop in popularity this week, and do you have any idea why?

Last night, softball superstar and failed presidential candidate Chris Christie, took a break from his regular red-faced bloviating to stand idly by as Donald Trump screamed at us about nothing. Throughout Trump’s entire speech, Chris Christie looks, objectively, like he is praying for death.

Chris Christie may be out of the presidential race, but soon he will get a chance to revel in the glory of plunging thousands of his state’s commuters into a living hell. It’s almost time for a transit strike!

Tonight, as Chris Christie introduced Donald Trump and stood by him during his resounding victory speech, we got to witness the exact moment that the beautiful light in Chris Christie’s soul forever dimmed. Chris—it’s not too late, and no man deserves this fate. Please, blink twice for help.

Donald Trump and Chris Christie were friends before each began running for president, and they’re certainly friends now that Christie is campaigning on Trump’s behalf as his first major establishment endorsement. But in the months between those periods—when Trump appeared to be little more than a nuisance to party favorites like Christie, before eventually overtaking them all—the two sniped at each other with fervor.

Marco Rubio, trying to be mean again, claimed at a campaign rally on Sunday that Donald Trump has small hands for how tall he is, and that “You know what they say about men with small hands—you can’t trust ‘em!”

Chris Christie’s desperate glomming-on to a presidential candidate he once called a “13-year-old” has not come without its consequences.