Tonight, as Chris Christie introduced Donald Trump and stood by him during his resounding victory speech, we got to witness the exact moment that the beautiful light in Chris Christie’s soul forever dimmed. Chris—it’s not too late, and no man deserves this fate. Please, blink twice for help.

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It was nearly impossible to pay attention to Trump’s speech, and not just because he repeated the exact same lines over and over again. Rather, the hostage situation to Trump’s left was far too captivating for us to look away from Chris Christie’s increasingly dead eyes for even a second.

It would seem that the internet agreed.

On the other hand, Chris Christie is awful, horrible human being. Trump can keep him.


Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.