We think it is! Just two unlikable people doing the hosting and music playing. Also today: Joseph Gordon-Levitt might be headed to Gotham, find out who's hot this pilot season, and the last days of Friday Night Lights.

Charlie Sheen cut a porn star $30,000 after she partied with him. Sheen also says he's fine. Demi Lovato returns from rehab, and Chris Brown wants to go to awards shows with Rhianna. Saturday Gossip Roundup!

After Chris Brown called Raz B a "butplugged" "homothug," Raz's brother Ricky Romance threatened Chris with murder. Now Ricky's burying the hatchet, and his Jabberwock-like apology—featuring words like "fallaciloquences," "eclaircise," and "humgruffin"—is a work of art.

Chris Brown has a really hard time not being a complete asshole. Also today: rumors of John Mayer's dating life are greatly exaggerated, Camille Grammer still sucks, and Zac Efron gets a hot beef injection.

Ashton Kutcher's maybe-mistress milks her 15 minutes. The Baldwin family Christmas will be argumentative. "Taylor Momsen offends Scottish crowd," but not for the reason you think. Tuesday gossip will soon be naked.

David Arquette is looking for love in all the booziest places. Tony Parker says he wanted to divorce Eva, too. Miley Cyrus meets a boy. TGIFriday gossip.

Remember "JK Wedding Entrance Dance," the viral video set to Chris Brown's song, "Forever," with almost 60 million YouTube views (see it here)? These people tried to recreate it—let's just say it didn't turn out so well.

The nude woman who got Charlie Sheen hospitalized says he hit her and has hired a lawyer. Billy Ray Cyrus gets a divorce. David Arquette cried during his first post-Courteney sexual encounter. Thursday gossip shall overcome.

Tim Gunn calls Taylor Momsen "sad" and "pathetic." Jodie Foster avoids assault charges. Leonardo DiCaprio buys a pet that will live for 70 years. Chris Brown doesn't tip. Has Wednesday gossip gone too far, yet?

[Chris Brown roughhouses in Miami Beach with bikini-clad friends. Looks like fun! Image via Pacific Coast News.]

How much do we hate Chris Brown? This much: An "insider" says he used eyedrops for his recent onstage sob-fest. This is what happens when you're hell-bent on getting America to forgive you: We turn you into our whipping boy.

In her moment of need, LiLo looked to her mother, and her mother called a camera crew. Mel Gibson's ex says he knocked her teeth out with his fist. Chris Brown cried in public. Don't call Monday gossip a comeback.

Tonight, Chris Brown (yes, him) performed a "tribute" to Michael Jackson at the BET Awards. After a few minutes of showing off his dance moves, Brown got ~emotional~ and, in turn, transformed the tribute into something obnoxiously self-serving. Video inside.

Now that Madonna's a swinging single cougar, Gwyn refuses to study Kabbalah with her. Star Jones writes The Devil Wears Prada about Barbara Walters. Britney faces two sex scandals. Heidi Montag just wants one. Thursday gossip has an achy-breaky heart.

Britney's conservatorship gets extended after two years of dependence. Miley Cyrus "simulates a lesbian kiss." Gary Coleman's ex-wife misses the swag. Gwen Stefani threw a $15,000 party for a four-year-old. Thank the Hills of Hollywood: Friday gossip has arrived.

Hayden Panettiere's heavyweight boxer boyfriend forces us to confront our ageist, sizeist assumptions. Sandra Bullock would trade her Oscar nod for a dog. Jersey Shore contemplates Fashion Week. Holy crap, is Britney pregnant again? Wednesday gossip is not to scale.

[Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one? Jean Paul Gaultier poses, with fake black eye and blood and stuff, with known abuser Brown, backstage at Gaultier's Paris menswear fashion show. Ick. Image via Getty]

• Conan O'Brien's final Tonight Show airs tonight. Then he'll head off to count the enormous pile of cash that NBC just gave him while he waits until September 1, which is when he'll first be permitted to host another talk show as part of the deal he signed with the network. As for NBC, it will air reruns of The Tonight Show until the Olympics start, with Jay Leno officially returning to his (very tarnished) throne on March 1. [TMZ, THR, WSJ]
• It looks like things are going from bad to worse for Mischa Barton. Her landlord has filed a lawsuit against her for failing to pay three months of rent on her $7,000-a-month Tribeca apartment before moving out of the place late last year. [NYDN, P6]
• Lady Gaga looked pretty banged up when she appeared outside her "Monster Ball" show last night to sign autographs. She she had bizarre cuts and bruises all over her arms and legs. And those mustard-colored extensions she's been wearing as of late aren't helping matters. [The Sun, 3am]

• The first photos of Tiger Woods at Mississippi sex rehab facility he's been staying at have arrived. He's wearing a hoodie, baseball cap, and pair of shorts in the pics. And he has a not-so-happy expression on his face, which is probably how you'd respond, too, if you were in sex rehab and you walked out of your front door to find a National Enquirer photographer lying in wait. [NE]
• Will today be the day Conan finally settles with NBC? Quite possibly. [NYDN]
• Several of Lindsay Lohan's friends think she may be cutting herself (again) after she showed up at a pre-Golden Globes party with a fresh scar on her arm. In other LiLo news, she was spotted making out with a random French actor the other night, in case that news is of any interest you. [NYDN, TMZ]
• Are you ready to bid adieu to the charming cast of cable TV's classiest new reality show? Yes, the finale of Jersey Shore airs on MTV tomorrow night. But it will be followed by a one-hour reunion special and producers are already hard at work on prequel called "Before the Shore," so rest assured you'll be seeing plenty of the Shore crew in the months ahead. [NYP]
• Just in time for the new season of Real Housewives of New York City, Kelly Killoren Bensimon has agreed to appear in the March issue of Playboy. The 41-year-old mother of two will appear on the cover. But there will also be six-page "nude pictorial"—shot by Kelly's ex-husband Gilles Bensimon—inside the magazine as well, you'll undoubtedly be thrilled to hear. [Us, P6]

John Mayer: "The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating." Heidi Montag: "If Cleopatra were alive now, I'm sure she'd have triple D's." Kelly Bensimon's Playboy shoot: "What sexy looks like at 41." Wednesday's gossip roundup is highly quotable.