The Grammy Awards nominations were announced on Wednesday night! Hooray! Everyone loves the Grammys. They're like the Oscars for blind people. And your mom's entire iPod was nominated. Here are the nominees. Congrats, Skrillex! Exchange bitcoins accordingly.

Is it even worth introducing Chris Brown with an insult? He is just terrible! Well, Chris Brown, horrendous hatemonster and destroyer of all things good and pure in this world, has plunked down $1.5 million for this home in Hollyweird, CA.

Working on his Halloween costume last night, big gross dick Chris Brown reminded the world that he also possesses a big gross dick.

Congratulations, Jessica Simpson! Jessica Jr. will have plenty of great music to listen to when he or she enters this world. Here's some of it.

Demi and Ashton go camping and yell at a photographer. After occupying Wall Street, Kanye West went shopping. Jessica Simpson rubs her possibly-pregnant belly. Paz de la Huerta considers herself "one of the rare artists that are left." Tuesday gossip atones.

Which of the following is the correct response to this video of Chris Brown pantomiming sex, then licking a lady's face and knee?

Elisabetta Canalis discusses her break-up with Clooney. Chris Brown gets out of 95 parking tickets. Ali Lohan didn't get plastic surgery, might have gotten an eating disorder. Matt Damon envies Jake Gyllenhaal's head. TGIFriday gossip.

Ralph Lauren's son and George W. Bush's niece get married. Jane Fonda regrets not sleeping with Che Guevara. Beyonce and Charlie Sheen celebrate their birthdays. Monday gossip found a $20,000 watch—maybe it'll get to meet Chris Brown?

Ray-J confronts Kris Humphries on an airplane. Kim releases a video of Kris caressing her butt. Lindsay Lohan gets a Billy Joel tattoo. Marc Anthony says his love life "is not a funeral." Alyssa Milano gives birth to her baby. Thursday gossip fucked your wife.

Lindsay Lohan propositions Chris Brown. Kim Kardashian "wants babies." Timberlake romances Jessica Biel again. Lauren Bush's wedding will feature a rodeo and a saloon. Tuesday gossip gets back on the horse.

Some lady broke her hand on Matthew Fox's face trying to keep him from getting on a bus. Jay-Z was not happy that Chris Brown was performing at the VMAs, Gwyneth Paltrow refused to wear makeup to her book event, and Larry David could be a home wrecker. Monday's gossip is not on the list.

50 Cent has declared war on Fox News. Which of their journalistic transgressions drew his ire? "Hating on NBC for having chris brown on unbelievable...never watching that again. He paid for his mistake #!@%*# holes." Fight the power, 50. [Twitter]

Lindsay Lohan throws her weight around a parking lot and says she is a ballerina. Chris Brown's latest temper tantrum includes the phrase "faggot ass." Captain America drove Chris Evans into therapy. Wednesday gossip is kind of a big deal.

After Charlie Sheen's marijuana bikini model lover dumped him, he consoled himself with an orgy. Jennifer Aniston goes on a strange double date. Lindsay Lohan shoots another Vanity Fair cover. Monday gossip bounces back.

Heartbreak and heartache at the BET awards last night! At least for celebrity presenter and self-described "Writer. Dance addict. Artist. MILF" Tiffany. See, she looked down on her little e-tablet (nice touch!) to read off the award winner and it said "Chris Brown," but on the Teleprompter they were telling her "Rihanna." Then Drake came up and accepted the award for Rihanna and then later they said actually the award was for Chris Brown after all. Ha. We're over it already Chris Brown, sorry!

Hey guys, I have a secret for you: Chris Brown is an awful person. Crazy, right? The singer's latest faux pas took the form of a gay slur.

Amy Winehouse pulls the plug on her entire concert tour. Chris Brown accidentally tweets a private message for Rihanna. Kanye West hides his girly alcohol preferences. Tuesday gossip says no, no, no.

The moment has arrived: Congressman Anthony Weiner's naked penis picture has gone public. But how does it rank in the great history of dong shots? Resident genital experts Maureen O'Connor and Brian Moylan give their reviews of some famous celebrity dick pics.

Musician and Rihanna-beater Chris Brown got a new tattoo and his new girlfriend posted a picture of the tat on Twitter. It appears to be a smiley face with a skull under it, but it sort of looks like a fat kid on the way home from an orthodontist.

Kara DioGuardi describes a terrible trip. Lindsay Lohan begins another stint under house arrest. Kim Kardashian's 20-carat engagement ring looks like a ring pop. And new rumors about Rihanna and Chris Brown. It's TGIFriday gossip.