Subject line of a press release that made me freak out just now: "MEGHAN McCAIN IN PLAYBOY'S APRIL ISSUE."

Peaches Geldof is pregnant. The 22-year-old heiress-model-fame-a-ma-bob—known, among other things, for a pornographic one-night stand with a Williamsburg meathook enthusiast—is engaged to fetus father Thomas Cohen, the super-kissy gentleman pictured here.

Are there any more promising words in gossip journalism than "In Touch Weekly got a hold of"? At the bottom of the tabloid pecking order, the primary documents In Touch "gets a hold of" tend to be spectacularly bad. But baby, In Touch will work what it's got, and for that I salute it. Their latest exclusive (as summarized by a Hollyscoop video) is about world's youngest sulking starlet Suri Cruise:

Jon Huntsman is the only sane GOP presidential candidate. I nevertheless find myself eagerly anticipating his demise, if only to slow his viral video star daughters' rapidly accelerating fameball.

Meghan McCain is teaming up with Forest Whitaker and the USA Network to speak at a Newseum symposium called "A More Perfect Union: Stories of Prejudice and Power." Fishbowl DC reports:

Meghan McCain has successfully scared a conservative blogger into silence.

Chelsea Clinton is joining the board of Barry Diller's InterActiveCorp, according to an SEC filing, in between working toward an Oxford doctorate and helping with father Bill Clinton's philanthropic endeavors.

Shiny-haired political heiress Lauren Bush has made it official: She'll take fiance David Lauren's last name, and go by "Lauren Bush Lauren" after her wedding. Two Laurens with a Bush in the middle. Easiest society punchline since Ima Hogg. [P6]

Well, this upends everything I thought I knew about Scandinavians and children of privilege: Gustaf Reinfeldt, 18-year-old son of the Swedish prime minister Fredrik Reinfeldt, recently got a job flipping burgers at a McDonald's in Stockholm.

Finally, the political-daughter-turned-memoirist smackdown we've been waiting for: Bristol Palin is taking on Meghan McCain.

The prototype is incubating, but still under wraps. A recent picture of Larry Page's wife reveals that the Google CEO is expecting a second child. Just don't expect Page, the taciturn computer scientist, to reveal much about the baby.

Meghan McCain would like you to know that she did not blow off a speaking engagement to party in Las Vegas. She blew off a speaking engagement because she got dumped, she announces today in The Daily Beast:

Last week, pictures of Stephanie Seymour frolicking in the ocean with her 18-year-old son set the blogosphere aflame. Now, Peter Brant II takes a break from high school to put all of us—and our celebrity industrial complex—to shame.

We've heard about the troubling behavior of Meg Whitman's eldest son, Griffith Harsh, who has been arrested twice and accused of rape. Let's check in on younger brother William. He appeared in court on Tuesday on a careless driving charge.

Sick of hearing false rumors about his famous father, Jay McGraw, the son of TV personality Dr. Phil, is launching RumorFix.com, a gossip site with only verified rumors and stories. But aren't verified rumors just boring, regular news stories?

Justin Murdock—billionaire Dole Food heir and Avril Lavigne's ex-boyfriend—faces a sexual harassment suit for calling an employee a "whore," telling her to suck his dick, and requiring her to start a Facebook account for him as "Cobra McJingleballs."

Lourdes Leon spent her summer launching a tween clothing line with mom Madonna, and yesterday was her first day at LaGuardia High School of Performing Arts, the public school that Fame was based on. Let's see how it went.

Today, the Associated Press surveys all the miraculously adorable things we've learned about the Obama girls' lives in the White House, and all of it is cute. All of it. Even Malia's braces are adorable. How is this possible?

"Girrrrrrrl, u don't take sh#@ from anybody. U are fab-u-lous," announces the completely earnest new website of Ellie Scarborough, daughter of highest-paid NYC news anchor Chuck. For $272, Ellie will send text messages and "better-than-sex truffles" to cheer you up.

Today in news about California governor candidate Meg Whitman's famously awful offspring: younger son Will Harsh throws a tantrum and challenges a Princeton professor to a fight over a rugby field that, the young heir thought, belonged to him.