Jack McBrayer's self-deprecating jokes about his voice double Bobby Jindal came during a test run of Jimmy Fallon's Late Night. Test run for SNL is more like it.

The Obamas picked a dog! And they had Robert Gibbs deliver a press release to the assembled White House press corps announcing that... no, wait, the First Lady just talked to People.

If you read Gatecrasher today, you can see the seeds of Chris Brown's would-be image rehabilitation. Step 1, make the singer look remorseful for reportedly attacking Rihanna. Step 2, blame the victim.

As soon as the couple gets within range, the network will presumably deploy Jennifer Aniston as a sort of celebrity Hellfire missile. Click for full-sized image.

Michael Phelps will be in distinguished company at the World Business Forum, joining Jack Welch, T. Boone Pickens and George Lucas at Radio City Music Hall. Phelps' lecture? How to "relax."

Wow, Nadya Suleman really is radioactive: Yet another agency has distanced itself from the mother of 14. How is she going to sell her story now?

Oh look, Peaches Geldof just happened to bathe topless and to hold various awkward poses while a photographer snapped very clear pictures of her tattoos. The trainwreck hipster heiress must need money.

In today's Anna Wintour image rehabilitation news, the Vogue editor is reportedly filmed at yet another charity ball and gives the WSJ an interview. But she called the reporter huge. Whoops!

Somehow we knew Alec Baldwin would come for you first, Joaquin Phoenix. The actor seems as hostile to strung-out hippies as his 30 Rock alter ego Jack Donaghy.

Here's Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman later tonight, either stoned out of his mind or just medically catatonic (or both). Letterman makes several heroic efforts to politely prompt Phoenix before ruthlessly mocking him.

As impressive as M.I.A. was at the Grammys and on the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack, the burst of attention is attracting uncomfortable questions about her purported support for a terrorist groups.

Miley Cyrus and her buddies here are all squinting and pulling their eyelids, but they're not racist, she explained on her blog. Just being goofy and Oriental, LOL.

Since it's not enough that he's a New Yorker contributor, perennial SNL and Oscars host, movie star and chart-topping banjo player, Steve Martin had to be awesome on David Letterman last night.

So far, so good: Speedo and watchmaker Omega said they're keeping endorsement deals with Michael Phelps, despite pictures of the champion swimmer smoking pot. But he must pretend to quit weed forever.

Why can't people stop doing this? Following in the footsteps of at least three 2008 Olympic teams, Miley Cyrus pulled her eyelids back to look like an Asian caricature.

Internet hustler Jason Calacanis might be Twitter friends with Ashton Kutcher and Kutcher's wife Demi Moore, but the Brooklyn native will still slam the celebrities for harassing two homebuilders.

Celebrity-glomming fameball Hilary Rowland told us she "would never" date actor James Woods, as we had reported based on several 2001 Getty Images captions. So what about this 2001 photo of them kissing?

In between fielding calls from the CIA and praising "Love and Light," internet-savvy whippersnapper Ashton Kutcher procured an "assistant" (virtual?) to introduce wife Demi Moore to Twitter. Moore's already getting snarky.

Even as she was helping ruin John McCain's presidential hopes forever, Sarah Palin was learning an important lesson from Barack Obama: Strike while your fame is still hot.

Mallory from Family Ties just liked to go to the mall and stuff, but that was the 1980s; today's Mallory would hang out on Twitter and Tumblr, reblogging cute boys. So it is with Justine Bateman.