We've been anticipating last night's Celebrity Rehab 2 premiere for some time now—we'd been pestering the good Dr. Drew Pinsky himself about it as far back as June when taping had just begun, and as recently as Wednesday had excitedly teased an entertaining scene featuring Gary Busey unpacking a Samsonite case full of spare change, hair highlighter, and coke-flecked dog fur. We wanted to wait to watch the full opener in all its self-destructive glory on TV, however, which we did. It didn't take long before we were clutching our knees to our chest, rocking back and forth, and repeating, "Why? Oh God, why?" We run down for you now the five most heart-sinkingly awful moments: 1. Steven Adler Recounts His Suicide Attempt. We meet the former Guns n' Roses drummer in the living room of a small, sparsely furnished home with smashed-in (by Adler) front windows, moaning that he wants to die. Things then proceed to go downhill from there. Try not to wince as you hear him recount the time he ingested 100 Valiums, a bottle of Jagermeister, and heroin in an attempt at killing himself, but only managed to achieve a stroke and paralysis. Hey—you wanted Celebreality. 2. Amber Smith Unveils A Week's Worth Of Prescription Drugs. We like Amber. We liked her immediately. She still retained her looks, besides doing enough uppers and downers every week to kill a Beluga Whale, and she seems to have a pretty good perspective on where she's come from, and where she needs to go. Still, it's one thing to hear someone tell you they're addicted to prescription meds—quite another for them to open their weekly pill organizer and reveal what looks like one of those one-pound bags of M&Ms spilled into its various compartments. Hang in there, girl.
