Teri Hatcher has won her libel suit against British tabloid The Daily Sport, which falsely reported that she enjoyed turnstyle gentlemen caller action in the Volkswagen van parked in her driveway as her daughter sat in their home. Simply not true, says Hatcher:

You pray everything will go perfectly on your wedding day, but some things are hard to plan for. And don't think being a movie star makes you immune: The Smoking Gun posted a police report recounting the events leading up to the arrest of a devious, thieving hairdresser skulking around Kevin Costner's 2004 nuptials:

It's hard not to feel a little sorry for crapulent, lead-footed Lost star Michelle Rodriguez. She gets popped for one teensy little DUI (OK, it wasn't exactly her first) and now all of her vehicular peccadillos become instant headlines. It's merely speeding tickets today, but we shudder to think about what the sensationalist media will do the next time she has a couple of wrap party mai tais, coincidentally sideswipes a wild boar on the way home (hey, since when do feral pigs wear grass skirts and leis?), and in the ensuing post-traumatic panic, tries to drive her car from Oahu to L.A.

The ongoing battle between Sacha "Borat" Cohen and Kazakhstan continues to heat up. Round One: the Kazakh government catches Cohen's act on MTV Europe Awards, and puts out a tersely worded statement along the lines of, "Stop saying we enjoy rape and have given horses the vote." Round Two: Cohen responds in character on Borat's website, encouraging the government to "sue this Jew," and provides examples of recent Kazakh social advancements ("...homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats and age of consent has been raised to 8 years old.") Round Three raises the stakes to nothing short of a battle for free internet speech, as the Kazakhs shut down the Borat website:

There has been much speculation on Dave Chappelle's "$50 million" Comedy Central deal, a sum many assumed he kissed bye-bye after ditching the third season of Chappelle's Show for a little sojourn up the side of Mount Bonkers. The guessing is over. Now that The Smoking Gun has posted a breach of contract complaint brought against the comedian by an ex-personal manager, Chappelle's "former jack-of-all-trades" Mustafa Abuelhija, many of the deal's finer points have been revealed:

Nick Nolte is being sued by the family of a girl who was drugged with GHB and raped at his home almost three years ago (he wasn't there at the time, but the suit claims he should have been "aware of the propensity" of his security guard and one of his regular underage houseguests to provide "alcohol and/or drugs to minor children.") The incident hasn't exactly scared son Brawley straight—he was arrested last April in West Virginia for marijuana possession. Now a judge has decided to allow the jury to hear every illicit detail regarding father and son:

It's practically a new American tradition: a reality show hits the air, in this case Project Runway, the Heidi Klum-hosted fashion designer competition that managed to surpress every groan and eyeroll by actually being good, and suddenly every couchbound Mark Burnett-wannabe who ever uttered the words, "I have an idea for a show like The Apprentice, but with [fill in occupation]!" is convinced the fifty word 'concept overview' they scrawled on their IHOP placemat has been pilfered by evil network executives. Then they sue:

We knew something just didn't sit right with us when we previously noted Omar Sharif's racist beating of a Mastro's steakhouse valet. At a Beverly Hills courthouse hearing yesterday, the Lawrence of Arabia star's lawyer, legendary celebrity crusader Martin Singer, nobly cleared his absent client's name:

The Smoking Gun has obtained a letter sent to a number of publications from Jennifer Aniston's lawyers, with a subject line: "Jennifer Aniston/Invasion of Privacy," (note to her people: great title for possible Derailed follow up!). At issue is a paparazzo, a Hubble-sized telephoto lens, and some topless photographs of Jennifer sunbathing at her home:

If there's one thing we know we can rely on in this world, it's The Smoking Gun's ability to delight us in the wake of virtually every celebrity-related legal run-in. They've already obtained the mugshots of seemingly pie-eyed Lost motorists Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros, who were arrested in Honolulu last night under suspicion of pounding too many mai tais before getting behind the wheel. (If you get close enough to your monitor, you can catch a whiff of the rum fumes rising off their images. Try it, it's fun!) And kudos to the police photographer who obviously denied them access to Visine until after the shoot, a bold choice that really paid artistic dividends.

The past few months of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's tenure will go down as a dark period indeed in the annals of impenetrably- accented- former-action- stars-turned-ineffective- legislator history. Between Warren Beatty's taunts, the rancid taste of crushing defeat, and the fate of a man whose thighs he once ogled in his hands, it's hardly surprising when we read a Radar report that Arnold is doing everything he can to sweep his latest headache a British libel suit under the carpet:

Two stars of ABC's Gilligan's Island-with-polar-bears-and-guns remake Lost have been arrested for drunk driving:

If your movie is set, the old adage goes, on a baseball diamond, golf course, or postapocalyptic, sea-covered Earth, then the Kevin Costner is your go-to leading man. Certainly that's what producers at Ascendant Pictures were thinking when they entered into a verbal agreement with the grouchy, divorced actor to play the "grouchy, divorced" lead in their new golf (well, at least golf-related) picture, Taming Ben Taylor. But when they called off the production, Costner got extra-grouchy:

Once upon a time there was a little girl who went to nursing school, but Aaron Spelling took her away from all that and now she's repaying the favor by sending letters to "hundreds of people, including actresses on current and former Spelling television shows," claiming the 82-year old producer sexually harassed her. Spelling has responded with preemptive measures:

The LA Times ran its first article on Girls Gone Wild impresario Joe Francis' videotaped forced humiliation and blackmail attempt today. And while they tiptoe around the more colorful and battery-operated assault details, one crucial, huge relief of a fact does emerge:

It would appear the wheels of justice turn particularly slowly in the land of frites and Van Damme, as a Brussels court has just ruled that a Madonna song from 1998 ("Frozen" you remember it, in the video she's alone in the desert dressed like Lily Munster, then she presto-change-os into a Doberman Pinscher) was plagiarized:

Sure, Hollywood is a business, but that doesn't mean feelings don't sometimes get in the way. Take for instance the recent lawsuit filed by management company The Firm against former client Orlando Bloom:

Stalled Celebrity Justice Day continues on Defamer, with reports that the Big Pussy Trial of the Century has been delayed two weeks:

Radar's report on the videotaped defilement and robbery of Girls Gone Wild mogul and recent Lindsay Lohan-autograph recipient Joe Francis, and the Paris Hilton-entangled events that led up to it, has been made available on their website. We must warn you, however: though there are no objectionable photos, merely thinking the name "Joe Francis" in conjunction with "Paris Hilton" stamps this entire business with a big, fat 'NSFW'.