Zut alors, Michael Kors! Make sure your pockets are empty, Monica Lewinsky! Transvestite teenagers are jacking up residents of a fancy Greenwich Village building, for wig money. This is an important window into sociocultural relations:

People magazine is reporting that bubblegum pop star/ monster Chris Brown is back together again with battered (by him) woman/ superior singer Rihanna. I see only three possibilities, concerning this story:

It's hard for the rich to find good, expensive things to spend their money on these days without causing a populist uproar. So a $28 million chair is, like, perfect!

The New York Post's 'apology' for the Sean Delonas cartoon has not satisfied Spike Lee, who calls it "pathetic" and "lethargic." As well as racist! Why won't this black man trust the New York Post?

Paris Hilton set the celebrity tone for Fashion Week events Monday: C-Listy (still!) and trying to blend in. Except for non-Cl-isty Justin Timberlake, who walked the runway.

Donald Trump's casino group is expected to file for bankruptcy, the Wall Street Journal said, less than two weeks before the new Celebrity Apprentice starts. This is among Trump's most embarrassing failures.

The attendees, or at least the one's willing to be photographed, at Fashion Week right now are relatively non-A-List. Just look at the people snapped over the weekend. Doesn't anyone famous care about fashion anymore?

Following Chris Brown's alleged attack on girlfriend Rihanna, the rumors flew: Brown tried to kill her; he bit her fingers; Rihanna is in hiding. But what sparked the whole incident?

The mediacentric Greenwich Village private high school backed by Graydon Carter and John Leguizamo—well, but it's having some problems. Have heartless celebrities given up on educating downtown's most elite teenagers? Someone save the youth!

A purported domestic abuser, famous, gets in trouble with the law. Soon, police are chasing a white car on TV. No wonder Los Angelenos thought Chris Brown was in this Bentley.

Inside-trading homemaker and suppressor of differently-colored pens Martha Stewart has implied—via an autograph to a radio show intern—that our intrepid reporting is not to be believed. Outrageous! Why can't Martha Stewart squash the beef?

Ok, great, this is happening now: Drudge Report operative Andrew Breitbart wants to pay Matt Damon $100,000 to "debate Bill Kristol," for serious, about the war. This is to prove that liberals are stupid.

Maureen Dowd is thrilled DC is "finally integrated." To celebrate, the Times columnist made an A-list nightclub of her home then dined like French aristocracy.

Who sat next to me in celebrity hotspot Cafe Grumpy today? Clark Johnson, a.k.a. heroic city editor Gus Haynes from The Wire! Of course he is a big fan* of Gawker:

Nobody watches Fox Business Network, but that doesn't stop them from landing the best business journalists in the game. Like Liz Claman, who split from CNBC because they used too many fancy "business" words:

Young millionaire Lil Wayne sacrificed his own body to sell 2.9 million albums last year, but surprisingly the record industry continued going straight to hell in 2008, if "numbers" are to be believed:

On SNL last night, Kanye West sounded disturbingly like a quiet man doing bad karaoke. Severe tech problems, or natural talent problems? Click to watch, listen, and judge.

A "landmark" court ruling in the UK means that it is now legal to make jokes there (without having to pay millions in defamation damages). Jokes about Elton John, especially.

More details have emerged on how the White House is bravely defending the DC area from the freeloading Obama family and their rowdy entourage. No adults allowed, it's neocon party time!

Entertainment Weekly published its 1,000th issue earlier this year—and maybe that was enough, since they're rumored to be considering killing their print edition next year. Let's look back at EW's fun history! Okay: