Nobody watches Fox Business Network, but that doesn't stop them from landing the best business journalists in the game. Like Liz Claman, who split from CNBC because they used too many fancy "business" words:

Claman says she avoids business jargon in an effort to appeal to the average investor, sometimes using what is dubbed the Fox Business Translator. "At CNBC it was a game of who can be the smartest, who can throw around the most alphabet soup — CDSs, CDOs," she says.

What a bunch of assholes! Now Liz is over at Fox Biz, where more than 30,000 viewers across the country—a figure almost as large as the population of Nosy Varika, Madagascar—tune in for her special brand of non-exclusive, softball Wall Street coverage:

"Too many reporters are so inauthentic," Claman says. "They look so greedy. They look so obnoxious: 'I need this to be exclusive!' I don't strong-arm anyone, ever."

Liz has trouble with intricate financial concepts such as "How Twitter Works," but don't be fooled. With a strong reporting team and an equally strong Christmas card, Fox Biz is staring a bright future right in the face. [WP; pic via]