Last we heard from Nikki Blonsky, she blew off talk of her and her family's recent skirmish with America's Next Top Model contender Bianca Golden (and her subsequent arrest) with the gentle rejoinder that the truth would come out in the end. And while it may or may not be the "truth," something perhaps far more special came out today when Golden finally spoke out to Tyra Banks about that fateful moment in the tropics when the Hairspray actress lashed out and the reality star "done decked the girl out, Tracy Turnblad":

Charges have been filed against two surfers who rose to the defense of their brah-in-arms, Matthew McConaughey, when they felt his groove was being unfairly threatened by encroaching paparazzi at Malibu's Paradise Cove last June. From the Reuters report:

It should have by all accounts been a joyous time in the Raffaello Follieri-Anne Hathaway household—she, starring in the #1 movie in America, he, setting up a variety of high-stakes shell-games around the globe and reaping their unsavory rewards. Could the pitter-patter of little Raffaello feet—fleecing daycare mates out of their snacks under the guise of a Third World milk-and-cookie drive—have been far behind? Of course, it wasn't meant to be. Raffaello was the target of a New York State Attorney General's Office investigation, and Hathaway—likely after an all-night handling team intervention that culminated in an exhausted junior P.R. agent shouting, "You've got to leave him, Anne! If not for you—for Prada 2!"—finally broke things off with him. Raffaello, Manhattan prosecutors announced today, has been arrested on wire fraud conspiracy and money laundering charges. Oh, and there's also that little white lie he told about being God's hedge fund manager. Oopsies!

If you were wondering just how ugly things had gotten between shawty-fêting hip-hop superstar 50 Cent and his ex-babymomma Shaniqua Tompkins, we refer you to this eyewitness video of the pair verbally sparring on the streets of New York yesterday, surrounded by a small crowd of celebrity-domestic-squabble afficionados. At the center of the dispute: the couple's once-shared Long Island home, where Tompkins lives with 50's 10-year-old son. (He wants her to pay rent and sued to evict her. She fired back with a countersuit claiming the house was a gift.) At 5 a.m., the house was ablaze—a conveniently timed turn of events that instantly aroused suspicion from local fire-safety authorities:

Click to viewWe really take no pleasure in informing you that two of our idols—early tickle-machine adopter Howard Stern and top-heavy country legend Dolly Parton—are currently at war, but such is the case. To get you up to date, last week, Stern broadcast edited portions of her self-narrated audio book to form several beyond-filthy phrases. (Like, seriously: NSFW. This is the kind of stuff you imagine hearing at a 4 a.m. "Aristocrats" session around Bob Saget's jacuzzi after a night of Tuaca shots and blow. As such, it's hilarious.) Parton has had a listen, and released this statement in response:

As predicted by a crisis-management think tank at USC's Annenberg School of Flack Studies in a research paper entitled, So, You're the Recently Fired Star of a Hit Series Picked Up Unconscious with a Serious Selection of Party Drugs: Now What?, CSI-alumnus Gary Dourdan has announced that the stash of heroine, cocaine, ecstasy, and prescription pills found in his car did not, in fact, belong to him:

As any celebrity knows, the lines dividing fan, superfan, stalker, and murderous stalker are often blurred; one day, you're receiving innocent, screwdriver-and-rock-filled gift bags, card attached reading, "Oh yes, we will be together, you and I. Mark my words," the next you're frantically dialing 911 to report the machete-wielding maniac standing over your bed and screaming something about never having received a thank-you note. Extreme Uma Thurman-enthusiast Jack Jordan, for example—currently on trial for having harassed the actress and her family obsessively for two years—isn't a stalker at all, his lawyer argues. He's merely your garden variety creep:

As if being the "Emmy-winning producer" responsible for Earthquake in New York and Total Recall 2070 wasn't enough cosmic punishment for a lifetime, mover and shaker Drew Levin now faces prison for charges he inflated his publicly traded company's value in a stock fraud scheme. And despite a corporate bio clean enough to serve a last meal off of, the president of Team Communications was indicted Wednesday on 13 counts that could send him away for 200 years:

Deck-chair-mangling Method actor Mischa Barton finally faced down her Christmastime D.U.I. yesterday, with a Beverly Hills Superior Court having issued four misdemeanor charges against The O.C. star relating to her drinking, driving, and deep-ganja-toking arrest:

True, celebrity mugshots bring us joy all year round, but there's something about the final few of the year, as reassuring as a Happy Everything card dropped in our mailbox from an old friend, that truly touches us in the most tender quadrants of our hearts: a happy reminder that regardless of what strife is thrown at us, life in Hollywood will go on. And so we share with you this booking photo of stalwart recidivist Michelle Rodriguez, who checked herself into former Hilton-rehabilitating facility Lynwood on Sunday for the first of a Kiefer-eclipsing 180-day sentence for failing to perform court-ordered community service and drinkin' on the SCRAM.

The guy who unsuccessfully sued Dan Brown for ripping off the basic premise of his own non-fiction book for The Da Vinci Code has died, suggesting a deadly curse is afoot, striking anyone who dares get in the unstoppable bestseller's way. (We fear the delaying of the movie version of its sequel Angels & Demons puts many at Sony in danger. Watch out for falling pianos, Amy Pascal!) [AP]

Leaving yet another of those custody hearings in which Commissioner Scott Gordon places life-sized cardboard cut-outs of Britney and K-Fed on either sides of the room, plops both children dead center, and renders his verdict based on which lesser-of- two-evil- parent-standees the boys end up crawling to, the singer once again rolled over a bystander's foot with her car as she peeled away from the proceedings. Only this time, that foot belonged to a cop:

It turns out the now-infamous Anna Nicole in Creepy Clown Makeup clip comes from a much longer, much more disturbing video, aired on Geraldo at Large. Brought to Rivera's show by the father of a nine-year-old girl present for the entire shoot, the girl describes having seen Howard K. Stern give Smith something from "a white bottle with red stripes."

Having found his vanity website was inciting insufficient outrage, Joe Francis has again switched gears, moving away from Phil Spector side-by-sides to a new offensive aimed squarely at the girls suing the incarcerated Girls Gone Wild CEO for marketing their ill-considered, titty-flashing exploits. In new section "You Be The Judge," visitors are invited to watch video of the plaintiffs telling a camera operator that they are of age, before gleefully relinquishing all rights to footage captured in the nearby Suspicious Goings On tour bus.

When Kiefer Sutherland wandered out of his East Side comfort zone—where drunken U-turns aren't just legal, they're encouraged!—and into the glare of a West L.A. cop car's spotlight, few of us immediately realized that the ensuing arrest constituted a probation violation for the beloved, tannenbaum-tackling lush-of-the-people. Now, with the actor facing possible jail time and all the ominous God-finding that implies, we offer a Kiefer post-DUI round-up:

Last week, we were teased with news of "shocking" material contained within the pages of former MSNBC host Rita Cosby's bombshell-laden new book, Blond Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death. For a conspiracy-hungry public who never quite warmed to Howard K. Stern's svengali-like presence and his sudden coziness with overly highlighted babydaddy Larry Birkhead, it instantly conjured up a host of sordid scenarios—everything from lusty man-on-man trysts to black market baby sales, from systematic bimbo-druggings to involuntary face-painting. Now, a leaked manuscript reveals that Cosby's claims include all of the above, and more:

After the poor, doltish man-child Joey Tribbiani moved to Los Angeles and faded into oblivion, we were pretty content with leaving Matt LeBlanc's acting career as a distant, warm memory — like a long-lost cousin whose talent for burping the national anthem was cute when he was 12, but reeks of stale desperation now that he's 40 and still does keg stands. But now, LeBlanc's former manager has incited painful acid flashbacks of the Joey era by slapping him with a lawsuit:

Yesterday, just a little over one year since the fateful night part-time Costa Rican resident Mel Gibson strolled out of a Malibu cocktail lounge and into infamy as the Hebrew-hatingest, sugartit-leeriest Oscar winner in all of Hollywood, a judge declared the actor free from having to attend mandatory Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. From the NY Daily News:

Bucking the teacup Chihuahua trend, Ving Rhames owns three 200-pound bull mastiffs and an English bulldog—trickier to have poking out of a Hermès bag on the red carpet, but doable—who were recently accused of having fatally mauled their caretaker, who lived on the property. Now, an autopsy suggests that the dogs weren't responsible for his death:

LAist has a handsome photoset capturing the mini media frenzy surrounding today's field trip to Phil Spector's Alhambra mansion. Included is the above portrait of Lily, the neighbor's Great Dane, prominently sporting a TEAM SPECTOR badge on her fishing cap. While the sweet-faced, panting canine makes an adorable and unlikely champion for Spector's innocence, her eyes suggest a different story indeed—that of a terrified animal, whose refusal to surrender a rubber chew toy led the defendant to point a semi-automatic handgun at her skull, threatening to splatter her "doggie brains" across the lawn, "just like all those other bitches who refused to play fetch."