"[CBS News] Spokeswoman Kelly Halyard insists: 'Sean McManus asked [producer] Rick [Kaplan] to consider taking some time off to rest after working two jobs for the past 11 weeks. After his week off, Kaplan will transition back into his full-time role as the executive producer of the CBS Evening News and CBS News' election coverage.' Counters our source: 'Total bunk.' Our insider suspects this to be PR spin to keep Katie's situation from looking any worse. If Rick actually does return to the Evening News, 'he won't be there long. They are just spinning.'" [Jossip]

Katie Couric hit rock bottom this month, starting with talk about an early exit from the CBS Evening News, continuing through to a lost debate-hosting opportunity and the worst ratings week in her show's history, and ending with Larry King's contract renewal for a show Couric had coveted at CNN. Now, at last, the news cycle seems to be turning in Couric's favor. Newsday reports Couric may be able to nab King's time slot:

Katie Couric is the only evening news anchor who has not hosted a Democratic presidential debate in this election cycle, and there have been 21 debates, so that's kind of sad. What's sadder is that it looks like the CBS Evening News anchor might never get to host a debate, ever. First it was the writers strike that got in Couric's way, then Hillary Clinton rejected her first proposed date, April 19, because it was on the first day of Passover. Then Couric came up with a date that worked for Clinton, April 27, but now the Obama campaign says that won't work, probably because it's the Islamic day of elitism and Obama will be burning a flag in a madrassa to celebrate.

Embattled anchor Katie Couric (legs!) of the long-withering CBS Evening News got a vote of confidence from network boss Les Moonves yesterday, but it was probably just a bunch of meaningless hoo-ha. Moonves said at a staff meeting that Couric "is my anchor today, tomorrow and in the future." Aw, sweet. "But the public display does not change the reality that Couric is likely to relinquish the anchor chair after the election, according to two top network executives who declined to be named discussing a private meeting."

All the news about Katie Couric maybe leaving her anchor job at the CBS Evening News grew out of "idle talk and musings" about her departure, one CBS source told the Times. Where did this supposed "idle talk" take place? In CBS Chairman Les Moonves' office, with Moonves, Couric, her agent and the president of CBS News all present. Funny, if I had a $15 million-per-year job I wanted to keep, I don't think I'd openly talk about leaving three years early in front of my boss and my boss' boss. Regardless, it now looks like Couric will, in fact, exit her contract before its 2011 expiration.

Katie Couric is in talks to leave the CBS Evening News, the Washington Post reported, lending credence to an earlier report in the Wall Street Journal that the anchor is likely to leave before her contract expires in 2011. Couric would be offered "either a syndicated talk show or a full-time role on 60 Minutes" if she is eased out as anchor, the Post's anonymous sources said. Howard Kurtz, who wrote the Post's Couric story, is playing a bit of catchup: he published an interview with Couric Monday that missed the exit talks, allowing the Journal to scoop him two days later. [Washington Post]

Katie Couric is reportedly close to being pushed off the anchor chair at the CBS Evening News after less than two years. Resented by coworkers and aging viewers, regretted by the executives paying her exorbitant salary and ignored by the younger people she was hired to attract, Couric must sometimes miss the days when she was a perky, fearless anchor key to making Today the most profitable program in television history. Back then, the New Yorker called the anchor America's "imaginary friend" while others admired her interviews as surprisingly tough (she once asked Pat Buchanan, "Are you trying to drive the President crazy, or are you just on a big ego trip?") How did America come to hate "America's Sweetheart?"

The last-place news operation of CBS could outsource some work to CNN, the Times is reporting, keeping the most visible personalities like anchor Katie Couric while using feeds or even crews from its cable-news partner. Right now the deal is still at the talking stage and similar discussions have fallen through before, in 2002 between ABC and CNN and in 1998 again between CBS and CNN. But CBS News' fortunes are now rapidly declining, with evening viewership down 13 percent, versus a 5 percent decline at all network evening news shows.

College students at 65 separate institutions are actively play Quidditch, the fictional game J. K. Rowling invented for the fictional character Harry Potter. As one Middlebury student says in this clip from CBS News, "when you put this broom between your legs, you really are flying." Ok, dude. Excelsior! If Harry Potter is the only thing that can save publishing, then maybe the industry deserves to die.

The sad state of bloggers and Long Island reporters is well-documented. But things are hard out there for TV reporters, too. Covering a flood for CBS News, Hari Sreenivasan nearly got hypothermia after his waders sprung a leak. But who wouldn't sacrifice a leg or two for that shot of a guy knee-deep in water? Fortunately, March Madness ramped up, America lost interest in natural disasters in the fly-by states, and Sreenivasan was mercifully allowed to return to dry land. [CBS News]

Poor Katie Couric, she hasn't hosted a debate yet. And there have been so many! Katie really wants to, even if mean, mean Hillary says Passover conflicts with her faux-Jewish schedule. If April 19 doesn't work for you, Hil, any other date will work for Katie. She's free! Look, she's begging you, and Barack too, via the Times. Come on guys, it's CBS's turn! Because it's not like building up hype about Katie Couric's ability to succeed in a serious news role has ever screwed CBS before.

CBS News has been running a lot unappetizing stories about sex lately. First it was "Things You Didn't Know About Your Penis" (or "Four Things I Already Knew About Your Penis And One That Grossed Me Out"). Then there was "Top 10 Reasons To Have Sex Tonight" (or "10 Terrible Reasons to Have Sex Tonight.") Instead of waiting for CBS to produce their inevitable list of factoids about testicles, we made our own. After the jump, five terribly important facts about balls.

Sex: it's one of the most popular activities to do when naked. People just seem to like it. If the TV is any indication, everyone really wants to have sex all the time. According to top scientists, if we don't have sex, our entire civilization could collapse! So CBS gives you their top ten reasons to have sex tonight. Don't wait until tomorrow. Sex must be had tonight! After the jump, ten of the worst pick-up lines ever.

You know what people like reading about? Penises! Half the population has one and the other half wants to get up on one. (Like the mainstream media, I choose to ignore lesbians.) Knowing what a hit these little (or big) guys are, CBS has a rundown of five things you did not know about your penis. Like No. 1: "Your Penis Does Have a Mind of Its Own". In eighth grade Latin, this kid would have the most awkward erections while we waited in the hallway before class to start. Now I know that his sentient penis just enjoyed dead languages. More shockers after the jump!

The subprime mortgage situation, the looming social security crisis and the History Channel: old men are ruining this country for us young women. If we were in charge, every day would be talk about periods and make-up day. And here's another thing old men are destroying: The broadcasting career of Katie Couric. Les Moonves, CBS chieftain, blames his own demographic for Couric's dismal run as news anchor. Men don't like getting information from a lady! Well, maybe if that Miss Couric tramp talked less about periods and make-up and more about how WWII was really won, she would do better in the ratings. [pagesix.com]

After 20 or so primary debates, you might have thought that li'l Katie Couric, anchor of the CBS Evening News, would get a chance to moderate one, but you'd be wrong. Practically every other telegenic person in broadcasting has but Katie. There are a bunch of justifications, like CBS News is cheap, CBS News writers' labor dispute, and scheduling conflicts. But these are just excuses. The real reason is that if Katie Couric ever hosted a DNC debate, there would be two vags on stage too many. (Campbell Brown doesn't count as a girl, since she's a real DC journalist, as evidenced by her requisite interest-conflicty marriage to a political operative.) [NYO]

Explaining to the press why your company has just axed a slew of people isn't exactly fun times. It's even less fun when the people who have been fired are also members of the press. People don't like that! Sometimes the best bad-news strategy is to issue a memo providing copy to reporters while saying nothing at all! Like late this afternoon, when CBS News spokesperson Dana McClintock sent out a meaningless statement that says absolutely nothing about today's CBS Interactive layoffs—and everyone actually printed it, from FishbowlNY to the Huffington Post (which at least called it "not that illuminating") to TVNewser to the Observer's Media Mob. How bad is it? Read it for yourself!

Oooh, it looks like Katie Couric has scored an interview with Hillary Clinton for the evening news! We just really really hope that this picture, up on the Drudge Report where the story is being reported, isn't a still from some home movie Couric's got her hands on. Do. Not. Want.

This week's New York brings Joe Hagan's second story this year about a wretched CBS News anchor, his first being that interminable cover piece on Katie Couric this summer. Today's slightly less endless article chronicles Hagan's talks with Dan Rather. Hagan doesn't uncover anything you don't already know about Rather's legal dispute with CBS or the documents scandal that started it all. He does, however, paint Rather as an around-the-bend loony toon, one of those old guys who madly scribbles notes to himself while muttering at the pigeons from his park bench.

CBS News writers represented by the WGA have voted to authorize the Guild to call a strike. Michael Winship, president of the Writers Guild of America, East, was all like "This is a wake-up call to CBS News management. We're saying that we are really at the end of our rope," CBS News was basically all like "Whatevs, we've got enough non-union workers to write the news without you." No walkout is imminent, reports Times media bunny Brian Stelter. In the event that News writers do strike and CBS's Les Moonves is really just scrounging around, we humbly submit asking John Fitzgerald Page anchor all the shows, all the time.