After all these years, we've finally done it. Also today: Tom Cruise has taken up with ghosts, Grace's best friend/property gets a new show, a blogger gets a TV show (ugh), and some movie casting.

Time has passed, but Joaquin is back in Dave's interview chair. The clean-shaven star tries to apologize and promote the film that used his last Letterman interview as its backbone, but Dave isn't one to forgive, not for free anyway.

Casey Affleck, the director of I'm Still Here, the "documentary" about Joaquin Phoenix's descent into drug-fueled, hip-hop-wannabe madness, says it was all a "performance." Yes, everything—including the famous appearance on David Letterman—was faked for the movie.

Here's a trailer for the much head-scratched-about documentary, I'm Still Here, about Joaquin Phoenix's descent into (faux) madness, abandoning his movie career and embarking on a rap career. His brother-in-law Casey Affleck directs and, judging from this, it's dumb.

Snooki avoids spending the night in jail. Levi Johnston's ex-girlfriend denies he knocked her up. Casey Affleck has more trouble on his hands. Oh, and there's a big wedding happening today. It's time for a delayed installment of Saturday gossip.

Casey Affleck's documentary about Joaquin Phoenix going crazy(er) and becoming a rapper is dropping in two months. Will I'm Not Here be the comedy many suspect it to be? Head to a theater near you to find out!

Billionaire financier George Soros turns 79 today. Nina Zagat is turning 67. Writer/comedian Michael Ian Black is 38. The tannest man in Hollywood, George Hamilton, is turning 70. Evelyn Lauder, philanthropist, social staple, and wife of Leonard, is 73. Roger Hodge, the editor of Harper's, is turning 42. NYCLU executive director Donna Lieberman is 61. Legendary screenwriter William Goldman is turning 78. Casey Affleck is 34. Interiors man Jeffrey Beers is turning 53. Pete Sampras is 38. Scandal-plagued football player Plaxico Burress is turning 32. Publishing heir Robert Ziff is 43. Rebecca Gayheart is turning 38. Actress Dominique Swain is 29. And the rapper Sir Mix-a-Lot turns 46 today.

There is a man in this photo with Joaquin Phoenix. Learn his face, for he may be the dark wizard conjurer behind Phoenix's career transformation into a trainwreck.

· We're not sure what it is they're cooking on Late Night, but it requires some extra-salty language. (Tee hee!)

Like a weird uncle who gives his adult nephew a present that reads "From Santa," Joaquin Phoenix is still struggling to prop up a hoax-y music career that's way past its sell-by date.

Our left coast cousin has been calling bullshit on this for months, and now Entertainment Weekly seems to agree with them: Joaquin Phoenix's supposed rap career is a total hoax.

We hope we've adequately prepared you for this shock: Joaquin Phoenix's rap career may be an elaborate hoax. Yes, we've pointed this out before, but now, two sources are confirming the stunt to Entertainment Weekly:

We may never know whether Joaquin Phoenix donned oven mitts and rocked the Queer Lounge at Sundance, but today, we know far more about his disastrous "performance" in Las Vegas than we ever wanted to.

Many of you have wondered if the eccentric douchebag featured recently in our Sundance quotes roundup was none other than newly minted faux-idiot Joaquin Phoenix. Let's examine the evidence!

I know you were worried she'd leave, but it looks as though Katie Holmes might be staying here in New York for good. And she's keeping Tom with her.

...Because he's still going through with this pretend "quitting acting to become a rap star" chicanery. In fact, THR has broken more news about this supposed life trajectory that we are simply refusing to believe:

We'll admit that when Joaquin Phoenix first announced (in an incoherent mumble) that he would be quitting acting, we weren't quite sure whether it was all just an elaborate stunt. Then, we remembered the tale of Greenbo, Phoenix's brain-eating frog, and thought it was simply par for the course with the erratic actor. Still, since the announcement, Phoenix's weird behavior has felt increasingly staged for the cameras — and, in fact, he has his own cameras following him around, "recording his transition from film to music." The final straw came when we found an incriminating set of pictures from Phoenix's first performance, along with this explanation:

Oscar's Stepchildren: Reclaiming the selective credentials that helped nudge Crash to a Best Picture win only three years ago, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is cracking down on new membership effective immediately. Among the first to feel the pinch: Last year's nominees Ellen Page, Casey Affleck and Amy Ryan, all snubbed in 2008 by an actor's branch that even Academy execs say might have gone too far in restricting invitations. But, reports the NY Times, Henry Winkler retains his influence, so, you know, as you were, Hollywood. [NYT]

When Extra revealed on Tuesday that Joaquin Phoenix had announced his mumbled retirement from acting, little did we know that the video of said declaration (captured at Monday's Paul Newman charity benefit) would immediately enshrine itself in the annals of red carpet awkwardness forever. Thanks to a clip furnished by E!, we've got the entire, baffling experience, as an out-of-it Phoenix confesses all to Extra correspondent Jerry Penacoli, takes offense at Penacoli's disbelieving laughter, then storms off.Phoenix is certainly no stranger to red carpet shenanigans (as his best buddy, Follicle Frog, will affirm) but the incident seems less like a joke (despite a nearby, hilariously deadpan Casey Affleck) and more like a Ray-Bans-clad cry for help. "Nommmf deadserious," Phoenix insists in the video, and his rep's awkward "That is what he told me" confirmation leads us to believe that Phoenix really is going through with his plans to ditch acting for a career in music. We didn't like Reservation Road much either, Joaquin, but we can't say we're looking forward to the alternative.

Billionaire financier George Soros turns 78 today. Hope there's a big party planned (with plenty of champagne on hand for Alex.) Also celebrating today: Evelyn Lauder, philanthropist, socialite, and the wife of Leonard, celebrates her 72nd. Civil rights lawyer Donna Lieberman is 60. Harper's editor Roger Hodge will be 41. Screenwriter William Goldman is 77. Casey Affleck is 33. Football star Plaxico Burress turns 31. Publishing heir Robert Ziff is 42. Jeffrey Beers, the restaurant designer behind China Grill and Japonais, turns 52. Nina Zagat celebrates her 66th today. And both Pete Sampras and actress Rebecca Gayheart are turning 37.