The State Department announced today that it won't seek extradition from Canada for Randy Quaid and his bonkers wife Evi so that they can stand trial for vandalism in Santa Barbara. Think of it this way: we traded Canada one Bieber for two Quaids!

A mocked-up taxi used in the Canadian version of the Discovery Channel game show Cash Cab struck and killed a Vancouver pedestrian on Friday night.

There are plenty of classic tales of hotboxing, but this one might be the greatest of all. A Canadian man, while waiting in his car at a police checkpoint in Nova Scotia last week, decided it was time to "casually" smoke a joint with the windows rolled down. Officers smelled weed and approached the man and, a puzzled Cpl. Andy Hamilton told the CBC afterwards, "I honestly don't know what to think." But, he added, the man passed an hour-long field sobriety test and concluded that "this was the one and only joint that was smoked."

Misha Glouberman is from Canada. He went to Harvard. At his 15-year reunion, he hosted an event called "Harvard Alumni Who Feel Weird About Harvard," then wrote a personal essay about it. Weird Harvard fact: In Canada, nobody cares about Harvard.

Wills and Kate visit Canada, only to be shouted at. Paris Hilton and the director of The Hangover remind us why we never, ever want to go to an L.A. nightclub. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber play patty-cake. This is what the Founding Fathers fought for: Monday gossip.

What better way to commemorate the fact that the Canadian dollar has surpassed the value of the American greenback than to give it the high tech makeover it so, uh, richly deserves?

"Hey, uh, Vancouver? Sorry for the violent riots." That's what a handful of regretful Canadians are saying on blogs, Facebook pages and media reports after they were linked to last week's downtown Vancouver hockey riot.

By now you've probably seen footage of the hockey riot in Vancouver. And if you're from the US, you've probably said to yourself, "Damn, I didn't know they had it in them!" Thanks to a riot analysis from the Times we know that we could be dealing with a new, ultra-violent Canada. Here's your Vancouver hockey riot but what does it all mean? article:

There's little anonymity left in rioting these days. Thanks to cameraphones and tagging, police will be able to identify some of the Vancouver hooligans who set fires, smashed storefronts and overturned cars in Stanley Cup related rioting.

The Vancouver Canucks (hint: hockey) lost the Stanley Cup Finals on Wednesday night, falling to the Boston Bruins 4-0 in the seventh game. This is a big deal in Canada, where hockey is basically their version of American Idol. And so they've decided to riot.

Visitors to Niagara Falls were shocked Wednesday as they watched a woman, still alive, float past them and over the edge of the falls. She didn't survive the 180-foot plunge. Boat crew members of the legendary Maid of the Mist quickly found the 51-year-old woman's body and pulled it from the water. Reuters reports that authorities acknowledge it "may have been a suicide." [Daily Mail, Reuters, screengrab of scene via WIVB.com]

Hear ye, hear ye! Canada's Conservative majority government was officially sworn in yesterday. First order of business? This etching of Jesus Christ, re-imagined as a steaming, fly-ridden turd. That vivid illustration can be found inside the CD packaging for Vancouver punk rockers Living with Lions's brand new release, Holy Shit, whose cover resembles a leather-bound bible.

A group of hibernating black bears who supposedly worked as security guards for some alleged Farmer Potpusher in British Columbia should be waking up really soon, says B.C. province's environmental minister. If the bears don't learn how to forage fast, they might be goners.

Warning: Bumpy Canadian politics ahead! Our increasingly-less-friendly neighbors to the north have spoken loudly at the polls, all but obliterating the moderate Liberals in tonight's national election.

Canada's parliamentary election next month will be governed by a 1938 law banning the "premature transmission" of results from one end of the country to the other. Which means a tweet about local election results could land you in jail.

While he chatted with her over a webcam from China, a Beijing student says there was knock on his girlfriend Qian Liu's door in Toronto. A man entered and a struggle followed. Ten hours later, Liu's body was found in her basement apartment.

Remember when the White House agreed to push forward President Obama's speech about U.S. involvement in Libya last month because people really needed to see Dancing with the Stars? Something similar has happened up north, where Thursday's French language political debate was moved forward to avoid conflicting with a Montreal Canadiens vs. Boston Bruins playoff game. From the Toronto Star:

Remember Ashley Kirilow, the 23-year-old woman from Ontario who shaved her head, waxed her eyebrows, plucked her eyelashes and bilked $20,000 out of kind strangers who thought they were helping her treat a cancer she did not have? Well, her sentence has come, and it's a light one.

Toronto alt weekly NOW accompanied a story about Mayor Rob Ford's "naked ambition" with nearly-nude photo illustrations of the politician. (Ford's opponents Other politicians are portrayed as nearly-nude bodybuilders.) The morning the issue came out, the Toronto Star reports, the mayor's office launched a campaign to "remove and dispose":

The Arab Unrest has spread all the way to Canada, where the conservative government fell today in a vote of no confidence by opposition groups. New elections will be held in May. You should run! [Image: Shutterstock.com]