According to TMZ, hip-hop mogul Sean Combs, also known as Diddy, was arrested in Los Angeles today after allegedly assaulting a coach at UCLA, where his son plays football.

On Saturday, at California’s Huntington Beach, 66 extremely small people packed onto a normal-sized surfboard, setting the record for most people to ever ride a single surfboard simultaneously. Haha, no, just kidding—66 normal-sized people packed onto an oversized surfboard, which is bullshit, if you ask me.

Good news, potential Law & Order cold open extras: Those “human organs” washing up around the San Francisco Bay aren’t the result of a series of grisly murders but a different super gross thing entirely.

California’s wealthiest do not think that they should be subject to the same restrictions on water consumption as everyone else, the Washington Post reports. Rich people pay higher property taxes and are therefore entitled to more water and poor people are just going to have to suck it up.

Since the drought began in California, my mom has become even more overzealous about conserving water. “The lawn is all brown blotches,” she giggled before I went home to visit last summer. “I turn off all the sprinkler but I think Marcelino turns it on.” Marcelino is our neighbor. He is retired gardener who sometimes comes over with his grandkids to tend to our yard. I think he feels bad for it.

A racist flyer that made waves on social media today after a resident of an Irvine, Ca. apartment building found it hanging in an elevator is fraudulent, according to a spokesman for property company Equity Residential.

Police say that vandals damaged an inflatable dam in Fremont, California on Thursday, causing nearly 50,000,000 gallons of water to be lost, the Guardian reports. The lost water could have supplied 500 homes for a year.

On Tuesday, a ruptured pipeline spewed oil into waters off the coast of Santa Barbara County for several hours, creating an oil slick four miles wide, The L.A. Times reports. Coast Guard officials estimate some 21,000 gallons of oil spilled into the ocean before the leak was secured.

California prosecutors dropped lynching charges today against 20-year-old Black Lives Matter activist Maile Mae Hampton, the Guardian reports. In January, Hampton was accused of interfering with the arrest of another activist.

On Tuesday, the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department agreed to a $725,000 settlement with the Justice Department, the result of a two-year investigation that found systematic civil rights abuses against minorities living in Antelope Valley, the Los Angeles Daily News reports.

A California teen accused of fatally stabbing a 9-year-old boy confessed to the crime on Monday, the Contra Costa Times reports, telling the paper he wanted to experience the act of killing before the impending end of the world.

On Monday, Bumble Bee Foods and two employees were charged with felony safety violations over the death of worker burned alive in an industrial pressure cooker, the Associated Press reports.

California legislators are considering a bill that would prohibit public schools from having the racial slur “Redskins” as the name of their school mascot. What next—the acceptance of Galileo’s heresies? It boggles the mind.

A California circus became the site of a chaotic melee on Friday when clowns clashed with animal rights activists in front of hundreds of onlookers, KNBC reports.

A California cop has been placed on paid leave after allegedly playing with a corpse's feet, the New York Daily News reports. The man had been shot and killed by police after leading them on a high-speed chase in November.

A San Diego-area sea lion lived out the worst nightmare of ocean-dwelling teens everywhere this week, when his first day at a new school ended in the back of a squad car, the NY Daily News reports.

In a bizarre sequence of horrendous events, Denise Chiffon Berry was shot and killed near Los Angeles on Wednesday—seemingly at random—by a gunman who followed her and her son in their car.

Vallejo, Ca., police had ruled the kidnapping and ransoming of 29-year-old Denise Huskins last week an "orchestrated event" by the woman and her boyfriend in a supposed Gone Girl-style fakeout. But now people claiming to be her captors have emailed detailed messages to California news outlets demanding credit for the supposed crime and that Huskins' good name be cleared.

San Diego police arrested Linda Lira, an after-school assistant at Lemon Grove Academy, after she allegedly locked herself into a classroom Wednesday with 14 students and began undressing (and redressing) herself.

Lindsey Combs, 32, was killed in her driveway Monday in Martinez, Ca. after a load of gravel in a truck's trailer tipped over and fell on top of her car while she was inside. Her four-year-old daughter reportedly watched as the gravel crushed her mother, who was two months pregnant.