Getty Images, the photo library, is being taken off the market by a private equity firm. Boring, except not. Getty, which distributes photographs by professional photographers, sold itself to bottom-feeding investors because its share price had fallen by three-quarters from the peak. And one of the reasons for that: as internet sites grow at the expense of print magazines, Getty's media clients, and their readers, are less fussy about lavishly produced imagery. Notes the New York Times: "Some of the company's Internet-based rivals use images as low in quality as those taken by cellphone cameras." And since we're itemizing things killed by the internet, best add the Oscars to the list.

Al Gore's Current TV, a "youth-oriented news company," is filing for a $100 million dollar public offering. Which means we all get to find out that apparently Gore's little tv station has been lying about its profitability for three solid years. Fast Company, NewTeeVee, the New York Times, and BusinessWeek all repeated claims by Current reps that the company was profitable. Turns out, not so much. "The youth-oriented news company had a net loss of $9.8 million in 2007, based on revenue of $63.8 million. It lost $7.6 million in 2006 and $14.3 million in 2005. Altogether, Current had $36.5 million in debts as of the end of last year." Why, Al? Why do you continue to lie to us? The wind chill is 30 below back where we're from, we can all see right through your deceptions! [NewTeeVee]

The Weather Channel, one of the few privately held cable channels and one of the most mind-numbing, is for sale. The pricetag: $5bn.

The compiling compulsives at Forbes have once again amassed a list of famous people graded according to their gross annual income, this time focusing the wealth-as-worth index on Hollywood's lucrative TV sector. (No, you aren't having deja vu—TV Guide did a similar list a few months ago, but Forbes's editors are far better equipped to type out 9-figure salaries without having their fingers tremble.) On it, you'll spot the familiar faces of any number of trap-jawed cooks and follicly deficient self-help gurus, birthed in test tubes at Harpo Laboratories and currently reaping the generous rewards of multi-year syndie strip deals.

CONFONZ — Without pie charts, most managers would be out of a job. When your entire business is based on selling software to make people look smarter than they really are, you'd better present a front that makes your company look intelligent. So, why would Business Objects post the phrase "No Light. No Vision," on its front page?

Parade, which most recently made headlines for lulling Halle Berry into a trusting place, then drawing her ire by printing her account of a suicide attempt that she had not intended to trot out again until at least something on the level of a Vanity Fair cover story came around, is once again snapping at the celebrity hands that feed its content. A press release in our inbox touts a preview of their annual "'What People Earn' salary report," which would more accurately be described as the, "'Take A Good Look At The Rat Droppings You Call A Wage Compared To Those Of Your Much More Famous Counterparts' report."

• Fox to do for business what it's done for the Republican party: Convince gullible yahoos that it isn't a soulless machine out to exploit the most vulnerable members of our society for the benefit of those who were born with all of life's advantages in the first place. [NYT]
  

It's always exciting when Forbes puts together a Hollywood list, for you know the wealth-obsessed monthly will eschew such abstract variables as "heat," "power" and "it-ness" for the very quantifiable metric of net worth in U.S. dollars. The "Forbes Top 20 Richest Women in Entertainment" report is a potent reminder that one needn't be in possession of a dangling manhood in order to amass a massive show business fortune (though the occasional eating disorder certainly doesn't appear to hurt). Your top ten:

According to the AP, Paris Hilton has been "fired" by nightclub chain Club Paris for precisely the kind of attention-whoring antics [Ed.note—Oh, the irony!] they'd hoped would attract publicity to their drinking establishments, such as showing up hours late (or not at all) to scheduled public appearances at the bars, unacceptably unprofessional behavior that deprived scores of excited, Hilton-loving patrons of the opportunity to witness America's foremost practitioner of the unearned celebrity arts demonstrate her estimable Vodkatini-chugging abilities in person. Even though the venue's proprietor felt he had to take the difficult step of severing ties with his original endorsementard, he's committed to the overall concept of a nightclub fronted by a bimbo figurehead, and has already announced a planned nationwide search for Hilton's successor:

· Hollywood's abuzz about Tom Freston's roast in New York last night, where the terminated, terminally nice guy managed to get a few good ones in, too: "I've been, what do these kids do? Swimming the Internet. Check this out. MySpace.com — one word not two. I'm telling you, one day this is going to be worth a bundle." Make sure to read his instant message conversation with Tom Cruise, in which the two discuss their enthusiasm for something called "MEGA-ATOMIC IMPALER." (Which we'll assume is a video game and not...um...a mega-atomic impaler.) [Variety]
· Charlize Theron will star with Nick Stahl in Ferris Wheel, an indie drama that will mark Bill Maher's directorial debut. Yes, that Bill Maher. Nope! Not that Bill Maher—another Bill Maher who comes out of visual F/X. [Variety]
· Nerd-hot director Wes Anderson collaborates again with his Life Aquatic co-writer Noah Baumbach on Fantastic Mr. Fox, a mostly stop-motion adaptation of the Roald Dahl book for Fox. [Variety]
· NBC 2.0 continues its unstoppable march of radical innovation by putting its four most promising comedies into a two-hour programming block on Thursday nights, then bestowing this chunk of appointment television with an as-yet-undetermined, catchy catchphrase. [Variety]
· Forbes hosted a two-day media conference at the Beverly Hills Hotel, where the genuine sentiment among execs was one of "consumer fatigue" amidst the plethora of platforms currently available. Finally, however, one lone voice stood up and yelled, "Well?! What are we going to do about it?!" whereupon everyone in attendance instantly jumped off their seats and shouted "Fix it!!!" They then worked together well into the next morning drafting the Pledge of Convergence. [THR]

Shockingly, these gentlemen work in the financial industry.

Not wanting to rely entirely on Steve Jobs and his Pixar team of anthropomorphizing animation wizards to restore them to their former glory years of profitability, Disney is hoping to open new revenue streams by licensing their characters to an expanded range of products: supermarket dog food, for instance.

The Post reports this morning that "Conde Nast and [EIC Joanne] Lipman have maintained strict radio silence on what the editorial thrust of Portfolio might be." Maybe the tab was tuned to the wrong station? Because the Times, Women's Wear, and Mediaweek somehow manage to get some details on that editorial thrust.

What the — media news on a Sunday? Indeed there is, because those Conde Nasties are tricky. And it's stop-the-presses stuff: The mag company's new business title, in the works for the last nine months under the direction of WSJ turncoat Joanne Lipman, finally has a title. It's Conde Nast Portfolio, which we must say is a much better choice than Quote, as WWD reported Thursday would most likely be the name. ("Where'd that quote from?" "Quote." "Huh?") Its first issue will arrive in May 2007, and the website — cnportfolio.com — is now live. There's still not much of inkling of what will be inside the thing, but two sample covers (click on them to enlarge) were attached to the press release. They are, naturally, also entirely inscrutable. Maybe there'll be more explanation tomorrow?

From the front page of today's Times Business section:

The ten-year marriage between two global monoliths of mass-market junk nourishment—McDonald's and Disney—will soon be coming to an end, according to the LAT, as the fast food chain has had second thoughts about helping contribute to an America in which hypertension-suffering 9-year-olds shop for back-to-school wear in the "Obese Lil' Miss" section of Wal-Mart. We can't help but feel a twinge of sadness as the iconic arches and ears go their separate ways, however, knowing that it's the last time we'll be able to admire our Captain Jack Sparrow Pull-Back-Motor Haunted Go-Ship while simultaneously gorging on deep-fried chicken byproduct units drenched in the dipping sauce of our choice.

You love the convenience and discretion downloading porn over the internet affords you. But your eyes are coated in weeks worth of monitor glaze, while your hearty appetite for artfully shot gang-bangs is taxing your hard drive's capacity. Vivid Entertainment Group has the solution: The home of The Love Twins (believe it or not, picture SFW), is at the vanguard of the newest entertainment-disseminating technologies.

Good news, everybody! A study by the Los Angeles Economic Development Corp. reveals that the entertainment business is Good For California, providing jobs, drawing tourists desperate for a taste of Hollywood Movie Magic™, and generally causing money to fall from the sky and into the pockets of its residents and local industry. Reports THR:

The faceless multimedia conglomerates behind your favorite movie factories are on edge about an SEC proposal that would require that they disclose the staggering amount of money that they pay out to to their stars and studio heads, as they prefer to keep shareholders blissfully ignorant of, say, how many millions Viacom will really hand over to Tom Cruise to save Paramount's summer with M:i:III. Variety details other reasons why the studios don't want their paychecks on the record:

Starbucks continues its steady, overly caffeinated drip into the Hollywood game, with news that the coffee and public loitering facilities chain is moving some of their employees to the LA area in hopes of generating more opportunities for promotable entertainment tie-ins: