This morning, after attempting to read through his teleprompter unsuccessfully—and many times)—Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade was helped by one of his behind-the-scenes crew members. Hopefully, that guy will get a place on the couch soon.

In honor of Simon's retirement from American Idol, Brian shows off the video love letter he made for SImon. Wowed by his presentation, co-hosts Steve and Gretchen offer their blessings.

Luke Spring overcame his completely rational fear of Brian Kilmeade to tap dance his seven year old heart out on Fox & Friends. Can Luke host this show from now on?

The Friends are skeptical of climate change and more or less disapprove of the planet as a whole, so they're celebrating Earth Day the only way they know how- by jabbering stream-of-consciousness-style about money and race.
Apologies for using an Arrested Development reference on these morons.

This morning, Howard Stern challenged Fox News' Megyn Kelly, host of American Live, to play Marry, Fuck, Kill with a triumvirate of Fox News blowhards: Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity. Talk about a rock and a hard place.

Fox and Friends morning Aryan Brian Kilmeade decided to have himself a little wrassle this morning with world champion MMA fighter BJ Penn. It was the greatest media guy vs. actual fighter bout since Alex Blagg took on Rampage Jackson.

This Hooters girl knows her duty—heading over to Fox and Friends to promote "More Than A Mouthful Mondays." But, she ends up racing against Brian Kilmeade in a very short (yet prehistoric) bucket water race.

Fox and Friends has a sliding scale when it comes to humor. A joke opposing German unification that, taken in a larger context, pits Brian Kilmeade against Reagan and sides him with communists- funny! Laughter before the pledge- deathly serious.

Today at Gawker.TV, the wife of George Stephanopolous sings him a sexy happy birthday, an Always Sunny friend shows up on Lost, Newt Gingrich lies, the un-aired Teen Mom footage, and Brian Kilmeade wants to get freaky with mannequins.

Brian Kilmeade announces plans to talk backstage with three headless mannequins. Get your freak on, Kilmeade. Tim Gunn, always a class act, was the only one who laughed politely.

Brian Kilmeade—one-third of the legendary Fox and Friends triumverate—had quite the year. A year full of blunders, ignorance, terrible jokes, worse improvisation, and awkward double entendres. Here are his best moments.

Fox News' Alisyn Camerota screwed up a throw on Fox & Friends this morning, causing Steve Doocy and Brien Kilmeade to cross swords when Doocy read Kilmeade's copy. So Kilmeade asked, "Why do we have women on the show?"

Gretchen Carlson knows that not agreeing with "facts" is an American Right. Nancy Pelosi wants to destroy that right, by calling for reasoned, informed debate instead of red-faced shouting. What would Paul Giamatti do?

Oh goodness. I'd hoped for a good clip to end my Fox & Friends "coverage", and the video team has delivered. Today the pompadoured earwigs were discussing America-hating Bill Maher. Why doesn't he leave and go to France?

Oh happy day! The whole Fox & Friends gang was back together again this morning. The wind-blown pumpkin patch was discussing the Gates/Race Police White House beer sit-down, and Brian Kilmeade said more weird isolationist stuff.

Oooo, Fox & Friends has a lil' crush! On Lt./Capt. Mitch Buchannon himself, David Hasselhoff. See the Hoff was on The View recently and said Barack Obama was boring! A doozy! Now Doocy, Bri-Bri, and Random Girl just love him.

Fox & Friends! Hunh. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. But still we press on with the deconstructing of it! Today: Brian Kilmeade, a cake left out in the rain, talks about his totes hetero crush on Bono.

A couple weeks ago, Fox & Friends' disgruntled hedgehog Brian Kilmeade dumbly implied that inter-culture marriages aren't pure. And a lot of people got mad! So this morning, back from a relaxing vacay in Bermuda or something, he apologized.

It's a sticky summer Friday, so two thirds of the Fox & Friends triumverate has left the city to go loiter outside the Bush compound in Kennebunkport. Meaning Steve Doocy is all alone! And his sub cohosts are... disasters.

Oh, Gretchywetchy. The Fox & Friends hostess earned some points yesterday, but now she's lost them all again. The bewigged legumes were discussing the $18 million Recovery.gov website today and Gretchen just didn't understand it. It's a double entendre, right??