To Heidi he's "Top American fashion designer, Michael Kors!" but to us he'll always be the guy who can whip up an insulting metaphor faster than you can say "crazy crotch." Seven seasons worth of Kors' best put-downs inside.

Welcome to the commenting party that's as enjoyable as bacon—but without the calories, fat, or cholesterol. Yes, it's time again for our Top Chef Masters live blog. Indulge in it with us! Your heart will thank you!

Are you master of your own live-blogging domain? No? Of course not — nobody is! So why fight it? Just turn on Top Chef Masters, head for the comments section under this post and start master-blogging with us!

This week Bravo unveiled the website and held a screening for its Project Runway with easels, Work of Art: The Next Great Artist. We watch just about every program on Bravo, but this is going to be a hard sell.

Michael Hirschorn, the exceedingly smart man who uses his talents to bring shows like Flavor of Love to your TV screen, has his eye on a new prize: New York magazine's approval matrix. Highbrow Despicable or Lowbrow Brilliant?

Christian Siriano had many moments on his one hour Bravo special: schmoozing with celebrities and reaching out to fans, freaking out with the last minute minutiae of his third Bryant Park show, edging Tori Spelling toward filicide....

While you were crying over re-runs on Thursday night NBC, The Real Housewives of New York were hashing it out in the press, to their friends, and over speakerphone.

Everyone who wants to get set up with a rich New Yorker on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker should apply here. Millionaires looking to be set up should apply here. And homosexual millionaires should apply here. Good luck!

Tonight's episode of Millionaire Matchmaker was an exercise in train wrecks—a bitter male chauvinist and a creepy man-child. Ladies, I beg of you: if you ever find yourself on a date anything like the ones below, run.

On the season finale of Kell on Earth, Kelly Cutrone's assistants bent over backwards to shock her with a surprise party. The most shocking part of it, however, is undoubtedly these beastly shoes.

We were too busy eating a whole bag of Robin Eggs last night to bother watching the finale of Kell on Earth. Luckily our fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there for all the action, and lived to tell the tale.

Housing Works, an AIDS and homelessness organization, opened its new thrift shop in Midtown last night. We were there along with some Real Housewives, Marc Jacobs' boyfriend, a Bravo boss, and a "day gay." We even got some questions answered.

Tonight's Real Housewives of New York was all about "elephants in the room." A theme carried throughout last night's show reached its apex when Jill Zarin stopped by Alex's apartment and saw another giant animal she just could not ignore.

Patti Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker fame is ditching L.A. and coming to the Big Apple to film the fourth season of her show. We have a feeling it will be harder to find suitable millionaires than people looking for sugardaddies.

Jill should've left her phone at home cause this is a disastuh! In an attempt to reconcile tensions, Jill speakerphoned Ramona to set the record straight. The record being Ramona's opinion that LuAnn is a "slut" and a "bullshitter."

After last week's recappy episode, we are now really in the shit. Last night was the real premiere of this trundling and delicious mess. And it delivered.

The lady/gay reality network has added a fifth evening of original programming to its brightly-hued lineup, we're guessing Sunday night. New shows will include Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and some actual scripted fare, including a comedy about male escorts.

We were too busy attending a screening of Hot Tub Time Machine so we missed the latest episode of Kell on Earth. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there with her flux capacitor to capture the action.

Project Runway is all about vision and delusion. The vision that making little clothes for little people is harder. The delusion that we care. The vision that little girls are pure. The delusion of tarting up a bunch of children.

Bravo's reality TV is pretty formulaic: get a smugly hot foreign hostess to moderate while contestants and judges pioneer new levels of sass. Brig broke the mold with her strategy-on-wheels for Shear Genius' premiere, and rode it to second place.