Tonight's episode of Millionaire Matchmaker was an exercise in train wrecks—a bitter male chauvinist and a creepy man-child. Ladies, I beg of you: if you ever find yourself on a date anything like the ones below, run.

Kevin is a textbook male chauvinist who "likes to watch football while his woman is in the kitchen cooking something for [him] to eat." Ironically, he has the romantic subtlety of a rose scented jackhammer, inviting his girl to a first date in a 3' by 3' jacuzzi adorned with rose petals. That's OK, because he was only warming up the woman he met 24 hours earlier for dinner, in a hotel room, at a table touching a bed adorned with rose petals. His date accomplishes nothing other than causing a rose shortage for all of Southern California.

Justin is a Canadian film producer who likes to smile at all times and suffers from a socially and romantically crippling Peter Pan complex. He begins the evening by buying his date an expensive dress and jewelry. Not bad, if not heavy handed! And he's still smiling! But then, a surprise: Justin has Facebooked another girl from the mixer and invited her along to dinner as well. He continues to smile, hand out Lifesavers, and gets ditched by both women and banished from the dating service. Some single 40 year-olds never learn.

Don't let it get you down, guys! Being single has its perks, like not having to buy girls you don't know expensive clothing or cover entire rooms with flowers.

[Millionaire Matchmaker]