This weekend’s major film release is Cameron Crowe’s Hawaiian wet dream Aloha, starring Bradley Cooper, Rachel McAdams and Bill Murray, plus Caucasian, Arizona-born Emma Stone as a part-native Hawaiian named Allison Ng. Aloha currently has a very bad 14% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is not a surprise considering the film’s financiers openly lamented how painful and shitty the movie is.

The man who will, in the absolute best case scenario of his life, go down in history as America's second-most-famous Brad—Bradley Cooper—appears within and without the February issue of W magazine in the costume of a nearly naked French clown. Pasty and slick, straight out of the Comédie-Italienne of your nightmares, he stands in stately profile, bearing his nipples to the world.

Louis C.K. once pointed out that the aspiring actors who ask Sean Penn questions on Inside the Actors Studio are never going to be famous. It's true, with one notable exception. His name is Bradley Cooper, and he just humped C.K.'s leg in American Hustle.

In advance of tonight's Oscars ceremony, if your last remaining critique of the Best Picture nominees is, "Why didn't any characters in American Hustle sound like they were familiar with the nuanced regional brogue of South Jersey and Philadelphia?", then the Times has you covered.

The party is finally coming to a close for The Hangover franchise, which will release its third and final installment on May 24th.

Have you seen Silver Linings Playbook? It's pretty good, right? Now close your eyes and re-watch the whole movie in your mind, only this time imagine it with Vince Vaughn and Zooey Deschanel in the lead roles.

When you are a professional rumormonger, people want to tell you things. They corner you at parties and shout other people's secrets. They call your telephone and whisper. They write urgent emails.

Sure, last night's Academy Awards were the worst Oscars ever. But that doesn't mean we were deprived the always-glamorous faces of the silver screen. Happy faces, sad faces, faces incapable of emotion due to injections—they're all here for your perusal.

When People magazine named Bradley Cooper 2011's "Sexiest Man Alive" yesterday, it incurred an instant backlash—a BuzzFeed-led group of Ryan Gosling supporters even picketed outside the magazine's New York offices. On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert added himself to the growing list of those upset with People's pick.

Happy Sexiest Man Alive day, everyone. That is the day when People magazine announces who their hottest hunk of the year is. This time around it's Bradley Cooper. In his honor, here's a whole gallery of shirtless famous people we think are sexy, for no good reason other than that we know you're pervy.

Throwaway husband Kris Humphries goes into the jewelry business. Michael Bublé calls Kim Kardashian a "bitch." Leonardo DiCaprio turns 37. Kristen Stewart on her Twilight premiere dress: "Well, it's purple and it's a gown." Tuesday gossip is addicted to fame.

Lindsay Lohan heads back to court. George Clooney's girlfriend "debuts" in a see-through dress. Robert Downey Jr. demands forgiveness for Mel Gibson. Monday gossip turns to a life of crime.

Amanda Seyfried loves sex scenes, particularly an "extreme close-up" of herself rubbing tongues with Megan Fox. Olivia Wilde says she needs "four vaginas." Lil' Wayne talks Tea Party. Scarlett Johansson faces a naked picture scandal. Wednesday gossip needs a cold shower.

J.Lo's love life takes a turn for the strange. (Or PR-planted.) Lindsay Lohan causes a fashion week near-riot. Clooney goes public with his female wrestler girlfriend. Terrence Howard's murderous voice message. Monday gossip manipulates the public.

Jack from Will & Grace is working on a new TV show, about gay things. Also today: Jim Belushi is heading back to television, Bradley Cooper makes a wise decision, and there are too many Jeff Buckleys.

Everyone's favorite '90s villainess will soon be back on your TV. Be afraid! Also today: Someone's already upset with The X Factor, a Mormon book becomes a Mormon movie, and the strangest person is going to play the devil.

In this breathless roundup we celebrate the healthy return of a 1990s staple, we ruminate on the future of the Green Lantern franchise, we ponder Twilight's power, and we watch some deleted scenes.

Megan Fox's "woman empowerment" rendered her incompatible with Michael Bay. Gwyneth Paltrow seeks genius tutor for children. Scarlett Johansson breaks up with Sean Penn. TGIFriday gossip.

Kim Kardashian's giant boyfriend gives her a giant diamond. A Victoria's Secret model gets a DUI, kicks a cop, and escapes an L.A. jailhouse. Kellan Lutz rejects Britney Spears. Wednesday gossip attracts magpies.

Jennifer Aniston's key grip ex-boyfriend confesses he was too vanilla for her. Katy Perry's Jesus freak parents banned deviled eggs. Charlie Sheen interviews now cost $1 million. Wednesday gossip is out of touch.