Poor Boy George has finally been charged with false imprisonment of a Norwegian hooker, who complained about being chained up and threatened with sex toys. We're sure the court will find that Norwegians are merely our playthings. [Telegraph]

• Boy George's street sweeping causes a paparazzi car crash. Live the Lohan dream, buddy. [OAN]
• The MySpace profiles belonging to Bonnie Fuller, Anna Wintour, and Graydon Carter are fake. Duh, the only profile genuinely belonging to a media bigwig is Atoosa Rubenstein's. The 'Toos loves the 'Space. [AdAge]
• Spin increases its page size to 10x12, making that much more room for Fall Out Boy coverage. [Crain's]
• "Charm School" is a $1600 program that helps men who have trouble talking to ladies. It's kind of like the Pick-Up Artists in The Game, but for wusses. [Reuters]
• The art of gay cruising is not easily mastered. [Manhattan Offender]
• Speaking of Gays, Chelsea really is a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah. It's just a pity politicians have to act like that's a bad thing. [Animal]
• It's somewhat inevitable that any conversation on bad subway etiquette will devolve into an anti-Chinese immigrant rant. [Gothamist (see comments)]
• A national women's magazine searches for a man to go on a blind date with a 29-year-old virgin. Who knew Jane was so cruel? [Craigslist]
• If publicist Stephen Huvane were representing a corporation rather than Jennifer Aniston, he'd be shot dead in the street. Actually, that could still happen. [Media Orchard]
• Of course the Post doesn't care about black people; the only exception is if the black person is a pimp and/or bouncer who murders a young white woman. [Blog NYC]
• The Stations of the Mel: Mel is condemned by the press. "Arrest me not," he telleth the centurion, "for I owneth Malibu. And thou lookest a bit Jewish unto me." [NYer]

GAWKED: OMG, have you seen that picture of Andrea Peyser with Boy George?
GAWKED: "I'm chasing a ROCK STAR. If I dress in denim and black shades, he'll think I'm one of them and open up to me!"
GAWKEDTOO: Hmm. She's rocking the denim cowgirl look.
GAWKEDTOO: But otherwise not terrible, to be honest.
GAWKED: I love the notepad. It screams "girl reporter." She's like a post-menopausal Brenda Starr.
GAWKEDTOO: The rolled up jeans are sporty and spunky. You can't fault her for that.
GAWKED: Her hatchet-faced scowl always did scream "practicality," I guess.

Looking at the accompanying photo of Boy George reporting for his five-day community service sentence in lower Manhattan, we're reminded of that old joke, "How many photographers does it take to document a disgraced 1980s pop star repaying his humiliating debt to society?" (Answer: 25, and one cop pretending to protect his dignity while taking cameraphone pics to show his wife when he gets home.) According to reports, after less than an hour of shouts of "Over here! Boy! Boy, this way! Hold the broom up higher!" the singer finally snapped, shooting back "This is supposed to be making me humble. Let me do this, I just want to do my job," before officials sequestered him into a fenced off area, where the chunky Mr. Clean valiantly swept and carted imaginary garbage across a sanitation parking lot.

He may have escaped our roving videographer, but Boy George nevertheless suffered the indignities of numerous Associated Press photographers on his foray into punitive sanitation work. Who knows what's going on under those wraparound shades? After the jump, an official Story in Pictures thing. Barring further misadventure, even we agree it's appropriate to let the fellow repay the remainder of his debt to society in peace.

Today's the day! George O'Dowd, nee Boy George, begins his weeklong community service festival today by working for the Department of Sanitation. He'll be picking up trash off the streets of Manhattan, for which purpose he was issued "a shovel, broom, plastic bags and gloves." B-George reported for duty to the Lower East Side sanitation depot at 7 a.m. this morning "wearing dark capri pants, shoes without socks, a sweatshirt, and without the wild makeup that made him so recognizable." As his community service punishment for reporting a false break-in and non-false cocaine possession, Boy George "initially envisioned a service project more in line with his status as an '80s icon," but instead he's on garbage duty. Of course, we really want photos of this seminal moment. If you spot Boy George cleaning up the streets, drop us a line at tips@gawker.com and we'll dispatch our hordes of howling paparazzi. Or send us a scouting photo yourself. Be sure to provide complete location info, and any further physical details that will help us ID the target.

You have to admire CNN.com's Law Center's ability to dispense with all that high-minded "fact-based impartiality" the other legal news outlets so stubbornly cling to, and instead decide to sauce up a story about a disgraced, gay British pop star from the 1980s (no, not that one) with a headline so bitchy, it's practically pointing and cackling. It's a potent illustration of karmic payback, reminding us that even the most respected of CNN headline writers were once just impressionable youngsters, who never forgot when passionate fan correspondences to their cross-dressing musical heroes received nothing in return but a coldly worded form letter outlining how they could join the Karma Chameleons Fan Club for just $19.95.

• As you've no doubt heard, Mel Gibson was arrested Friday for drunk driving down the PCH in Malibu, at which point he announced that "fucking Jews" were "responsible for all the wars in the world." He also made it clear that he owned Malibu, called a female officer "sugar tits" and threatened to fuck everyone within earshot. The police department may have tried to hide the inflammatory report, seeing as they're such big fans of Braveheart. [TMZ]
• 26-year-old Band-Aid heiress Casey Johnson plans to adopt a baby from Kazakhstan and dress her in "the cutest leopard baby bikini." Babies sure are neat toys! [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton lookalikes are trashy, mildly psychotic — just like the real thing. [R&M]
• Tori Spelling and her husband love nothing more than a night in with some microwave popcorn and a copy of Black Cock Invasion II. [Page Six]
• On August 14, Boy George will perform his community service (for reporting a false break-in) by cleaning the streets. As extra punishment, they'll likely send him to Chinatown. [NYDN]

• Instead of serving hard time for cocaine possession, Boy George will be doing community service. Specifically, he'll be working for the Department of Sanitation. With the summer heat melting rat turds everywhere, we would've opted to be a prison bitch. [OMG]
• Terror returns to the financial district: Naomi Campbell moving into 55 Wall Street. [WSJ]
• Peter Kaplan and Arthur Carter are surprisingly hot. [The Real Estate]
• If Star Jones and Al Reynolds were fish, she'd be the bug-eyed starfish and he'd be a gay-as-a-rainbow trout. [Gallery of the Absurd]
• Heather Graham gets ice cream and you don't. But really, she needs it more than you do. [Almost Literary]
• If you combine Times heds with the final paragraph of the accompanying story, you get a simplified, if not mildly insane, result. [Bumper Active]
• Grace Edwards toes dangerously at the nipslip line — really, New York Social Diary just doesn't do that sort of thing, dear. [NYSD]
• This is extremely late-breaking, but when in doubt, blame sagging circulation on natural disasters. You can't argue with God's weather patterns! [Mediaweek (last graf)]

Boy George's most notable achievement of late was his ill-advised move of calling the NYPD to his Manhattan apartment for a burglary, upon which he was immediately arrested for having 13 bags of blow sitting around in the open. George was offered a plea bargain that would only charge him with false robbery; he was then required to do five days of community service. It was a cushy arrangement, though not cushy enough, as he refused to involve himself in embarrassing, public leaf-gathering duties:

Boy George has finally freed himself from the clutches of the Dark Side. You may recall, last October George practically ordered up his own drug arrest as if it were a Domino's pizza, calling cops to his apartment in New York to investigate a burglary. They quickly discovered upon their arrival 13 bags of coke sitting by his computer, which he insisted belonged to one of his many party guests. A plea bargain deal at a Manhattan criminal court yesterday got him out of doing any hard time:

Blogger Boysbriefs wrote to ask us if he was the only one who was experiencing deja vu from a galaxy far, far away looking at wire photos of Boy George entering a Manhattan court today (remember those 13 bags of blow? The case has been postponed until March 8.) Indeed, he has a point: The resemblance is uncanny between the star of Taboo and Anakin Skywalker (the original Jedi Anakin, mind you, none of this Hayden Christensen crap). If Boy George ever decides to play the harmonica line from "Karma Chameleon" himself on a neck-mounted mouth organ, he might find his concert ended early by confused Rebel forces

We don't understand, either, why Nordstrom is advertising on Gawker — one imagines that Bergdorf's is simultaneously running an extensive campaign on, say, Seattlest — but, still, they're paying us money, and they're sponsoring a lovely contest, and so we're happy to do whatever they'd like.

· Angelina Jolie proposes an ambitious adopt-a-landmine program for Iraq. God, we hope she doesn't try to give one a mohawk. The resulting People spreads would be horrific.
· Jealous of Rupert Murdoch's recent MySpace acquisition, ultra laid-back Viacom execu-dude Tom Freston totally paid $49 million or whatever for iFilm, whenever he gets around to signing off on the paperwork. Get it? he's laid back, man.
· It's almost like Boy George never had a male hustler come over and try to rob him before. Hell-oooo! Amateur hour!
· Not content with revolutionizing the energy drink market, Steve Seagal turns his attention to saving the Delta blues.
· And just because it's Friday afternoon and you've been so well behaved all week, here's a possibly stale link to a nipple slip from a Laguna Beach cast member (NSFW). Don't say we never did nothin' for ya.

• More on the Boy George cocaine bust: He apparently called the cops after a male prostitute tried to rob him, at which point the cops found the coke. Because where there's a hooker, there's blow of one sort of another. [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie stops humping Brad Pitt just long enough to speak out against mining the Iraq border, then threatened to adopt all Iraqi orphans if her requests were not met. [R&M]
• While Kate Moss twiddles her thumbs in rehab, the father of her child, Jefferson Hack, has possession of the little girl and a brand new modeling contract on Savile Row. [Page Six]
• Why we'll always love MTV: In an episode of Date My Mom, a mother told a contestant, in Russian, that her daughter had a very big heart. The MTV subtitles, however, read, "There is no better piece of a- than my princess Anastasia." Six in one hand, half-dozen in the other. [Lowdown]

· Why is everyone suddenly ganging up on America's Sweetheart, Paris Hilton? Ex-fiancé Paris Latsis' pal is calling her a "hooker," while mean boys Don Cheadle and Ryan Gosling sneer that Hilton wouldn't have much fun partying in Darfur.
· A new study determined that even males under 25, who generally will watch anything, wouldn't go see this summer's shitty movies.
· Even we were surprised by the outcome of the latest Celebrity Vs.Thing standoff, Ryan Reynolds vs. Wine Stoppers. The results are even more unbelievable when you consider that abs were not mentioned.
· It seems obvious to us, but don't you think that by now Boy George should know to hide the 13 bags of coke before calling the cops to report a burglary? Perhaps even more embarrassing than this rookie mistake is his lawyer's "That must be somebody else's 13 bags of coke!" defense.

• The latest in celebrity drug abuse: Boy George was arrested this weekend for cocaine posession. The face-painting 80's icon called the NYPD to investigate a break-in at his downtown apartment, wherein they fould a nice bag of the marching powder. Naturally, George claims the drugs weren't his (he has a lot of company, you know, quite the hostess!), but he'll still be in court on December 19 to deal with the matter. [Reuters]
• For a mere $2 million, you can be the proud owner of SeanPrestonFederline.com. Worth every penny, we think. [eBay]
• Freedom of speech does not extend to t-shirts worn on Southwest Airlines flights. [Southwest]
• Times opera boy Anthony Tommasini insists on describing his male subjects as "strapping," which is only slightly less obvious than "glistening" or "potent." [Parterre]
• The NYC celebrity assistants posse learns how to sell their bosses on pink feather Christmas trees, adult bibs, and the fine art of re-gifting. 'Tis the season to be a cheap bastard! [NYM]

From an article on Area, the post-Studio 54 club on Hudson Street that, in its heydey (1983-1987), was frequented by artist Andy Warhol, singer Boy George, the "brat pack" actors, writer Jay McInerney, and an assortment of artists, musicians, and NYC party people: [DJ Johnny Dynell:] "One summer night the room was really packed, and I noticed a sudden commotion on the floor. I ran down from the DJ booth to see what was happening. This guy had had a heart attack, and was just lying there. My first reaction was to stop the music and turn the lights on. But I realized that people would stop dancing and start crowding around him. So I decided to keep playing music. But what should I play? It would be the last thing this man would ever hear, assuming he was still listening. 'Last Dance' by Donna Summer would have been good, but I didn't have it. I hate to say it, but the last record he heard was Madonna's 'Holiday.' It was just out and very popular, and I knew it would keep people dancing. But if it was the last record I ever heard, I'd be really pissed."