Roger Friedman got laid off by FoxNews.com this month for watching a pirated movie. He's already back in the game. You can't keep him down, in any sense of the word! Let's check in:

Just in case you had any remaining shred of a suspicion that inane Microtrend maker-upper Mark Penn might actually have some worthwhile advice about something, today he touts blogging as a good job opportunity. Ha!

Dan Abrams has hired FishbowlNY's Glynnis MacNicol for his new media site.

In your hopeful Tuesday media column: Portfolio.com hires(!) people, NYT op-ed-speak translated, Philly papers make an offer you can refuse, and journalists in peril:

"CONSIDER the erotic potential between blogger and commenters," begins a trend story, as I gag on my coffee, laughing derisively. But hey it turns out some of these "bloggers" really are big pimpin!

Ashley Dupre has something to get off her chest! Or, rather, Russell Simmons wanted another publicity boost for his website and told Ashley that she had to come up with something ASAP if she expected another personal yoga session this week. In any event, Ash has lots of questions today, but she's still struggling to come up with answers:

Miss Universe took a morale-boosting trip last week, to Guantanamo Bay. "It was a loooot of fun!" There were dogs and beaches. Also detainees.

Woe is Perez Hilton, in many ways. His marketing firm put together such a neat Powerpoint show to get companies to sponsor his birthday party last weekend. How did that go?

Eater.com founder Ben Leventhal is going to start blogging on GrubStreet.com—a rival food blog! New York food bloggers haven't been this abuzz since the Great Momofuku Fire of '63. [The Feedbag]

Former MSNBC host Dan Abrams, not content with running his shady new conflict-of-interest-laden PR firm for working journalists, now wants to start up his very own "'Drudge meets The Huffington Post' site." Oh good.

Tesla Motors, once Silicon Valley's hottest electric-car startup, has a host of real problems, like a shortage of cash and a paranoid CEO. How is its top flack spending her time? Taking "umbrage" with bloggers!

Yesterday was Perez Hilton's 31st birthday! His star-studded birthday bash will be March 28th at LA's "iconic" Viper Room. And here's how his marketing firm is trying to sell people sponsorships of this once-in-Perez's-lifetime affair:

In your "not really spring" Tuesday column: Obama to meet "bloggers"(??), journalists die while nobody notices, newspapers scrounge for ideas, and Eliot Spitzer's a media darling!:

Brash young New York Times metroblogger and heir to the empire AG Sulzberger is already being allowed to summarize the Sunday news shows. The future of journalism, in more ways than one! [NYT; Pic via]

Iranian blogger Omidreza Mirsayafi died in prison on Wednesday. He was in jail for insulting Iran's leaders. Authorities claim he committed suicide. That is probably a lie.

The New York Times has issued a formal set of standards for their in-house blogs, marking the first time blogs have ever had standards (No "snark"). The latest in a rich history of technomazing ideas!

Despite being total bullshit, the idea that you can "cleanse" your body with days-long juice fasts persists. If a new story is to be believed, Cleanse Mania is affecting rich women and fameballs alike.

Oh no, "Skanks in NYC," the city's top craptastic Blogspot blog about the alleged skankiness of cover model Liskula Cohen, has been pulled from the internet in the wake of Cohen's ridonkulous lawsuit. Never forget:

The Salisbury, Maryland mayor's State of the City address starts typically enough, with talk of drainage, crime, road paving and federal stimulus funds. Then comes the part about the fascist blogger coup.

In your rumormongering Thursday media column: rumors of layoffs and shenanigans at Viacom and Sesame Street (updated), Felix Salmon jumps the Fort Polio ship, Jay Carney flackery, and a journalism grad is broken: