Gannett, America's largest newspaper publisher, has already written down the value of its papers by almost $6 billion and instituted mandatory furloughs this year. But it could get worse—are thousands of layoffs coming next week?

Today one of the biggest stars in the history of the world died. How did the internet's self-proclaimed "Queen of all Media" respond? By accusing Michael Jackson of faking the whole thing.

Joe Mande, the NYC comedian revealed yesterday as the author of the Look At This Fucking Hipster blog and recipient of the latest Tumblr-to-Book deal, has shed some comedic light on his book deal, via email. Here it is:

The costume-wearing heir to the Getty oil fortune is back with a new entry on the "What's it like to be rich?" blog! Did Peter Getty bring the funk right to our face?? (No). Click through to find out!

An actor named Kevin Byrd sent a bad, self-composed press release to reporters, which one of them posted on Facebook. A PR blogger picked it up to point out how bad it was. That's when Kevin Byrd came unhinged.

Earlier this week we expressed dismay that wealthy San Franciscan heirs Peter and Billy Getty had decided to write an infuriating blog about: "What's it like to be rich?" And now, thanks be to god, Peter Getty wants to feud!

Today a blogger decided to have jerk chicken and mac-n-cheese for lunch at an East Village restaurant. He went inside, grabbed a seat, and seconds after his food was served, a hawk swooped in and landed on his plate.

The Washington Post, which pays money to opinion writers such as Bill Kristol (smarmy) and Richard Cohen (smarmier), has fired blogger Dan Froomkin, one of the only WaPo opinion writers who pointed out that the Bush White House was crooked.

An addition to the Celebrity Media Intern Class of '09: Arielle Zuckerberg, the kid sister of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. She's indentured herself to Dan Abrams-affiliated media blog Mediaite.com. It hasn't launched yet, but we have an exclusive preview!

In your shiny Monday media column: Spy magazine lives, David Carr survives, Dan Abrams hires, Dana Milbank thrives, and Fleur Cowles dies:

Ed Whelan, former Scalia law clerk, Bush Justice Department appointee, and, most amusingly, "President of the Ethics and Public Policy Center," got soooo mad at some blogger who was criticizing him that he published the guy's real name and job.

Look, it is the blog of professional journalist Lu Parker, the new reporter-girlfriend of L.A.'s mayor. Top post: "This blog is by no means about me." It is about her abs. And her Monkey. [LuParker.com]

On Friday, noted blogger Mickey Kaus decried the Obama administration's attempts to prolong the inevitable death of shitty car company GM. No one even wants their depressing cars, he noted! On Sunday, it's the fault of "unskilled workers making $28 an hour who have bankrupted their employers."

New York's journalist shield law may be extended to bloggers. We're drunk on power, legally!

Last week we identified Luisa from Rio as the probable lucky future journalist who's the $13,000 high bidder on a (priceless) Huffington Post internship in a charity auction. Then she emailed us! Meet her:

Here is a breaking survey that you will probably hear about: people who read blogs find them to be informational! Oh, wait, here's the controversial bit: journalists only read liberal blogs.

Which is more unbearable: Tucker Max, or Ohio State University student group Womyn and Allies Rising in Resistance (WaARiR)? Finally, they've met in a death match so we can find out!

Greta Van Susteren, an adult with a lucrative career as a famous journalist, writes the best blog in the world. She is terribly upset that someone called her a "handler."

Surely you've seen those Bingo cards for hipsters, and Blipsters. I always wondered why there wasn't one for New York's Blog-media. Now there is!

Complex.com named Kanye West the Best-Dressed Rapper ever. And, I mean...he just, it's like..WOW, what can you say? Let him catch his breath...okay he's ready to thank you, all of you!