Creative strategy consultant and white man Alan Wolk makes an earnest attempt today in Ad Age to demystify "20-something African-Americans tweeting in what can best be described as ghetto slang." No homo stereotype! Alan adds this disclaimer:

Muppet-haired white crook Rod Blagojevich now says that his comment to Esquire that he is "blacker than Barack Obama" was a "stupid thing to say." And by "stupid," Rod Blagojevich means "dope." [AP]

Declarative PBS host and multimedia phenomenon Tavis Smiley is ending his "State of the Black Union" conference after ten years, because he needs time for other projects like—seriously—publishing R. Kelly's memoirs. Post-racial world, you're a wondrous place! [AP]

Governor Haley Barbour hit the Mississippi politician superfecta: he's proposed something that is at once racist, sexist, classist, and bad for education.

RNC Chairman and amateur stand-up comedian Michael Steele traveled to historically black Howard University to give a speech yesterday, and succeeded in insulting both his hosts and the visiting whites lured to Howard by this Republican man!

Superfamous Bollywood star Shahrukh Khan was racially profiled in the USA! For Indians, it's big news. But for Americans, it's unsettling—where do Indians fall on the "Racial Profile Outrage" scale? A complete cross-racial guide for you!

College: where drunk kids are guinea pigs for social science. The funnest college-kid studies involve race, because they make everyone uncomfortable! Now comes a new study of interracial college roommates that proves we're all terrible. A racial breakdown:

Oh. Oh no. Oh no they didn't. Today in "Onion Stories Come True": The city of Toronto adds some diversity—magically!

The Notorious B.I.G.'s birthday was this past Thursday. I wonder, him being so beloved and all, if it will ever get the Martin Luther King treatment? That'd be kind of funny. But also, cool.

Bros! Been reading Hipster Runoff and Tao Lin. Feel sad now. Like they're free and I'm just a ToKn. Or multicultural metrocard. but my slang and colloquialisms don't get me on the hip-train n-e more.

The St. Louis newspaper runs a picture of a black man kissing his white girlfriend; rednecks write racist comments; we mock those comments. Now, the almost-as-bad backlash: the "I'm the least racist!" comment contest:

What's this, the weekend magazine of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has pictured miscegenation in action, and the locals are outraged! Imagine this photo, where your kids could see. Let's explore the comments, shall we? Yes:

Last Thursday, D.L. Hughley's unnecessary CNN show was canceled. Yesterday, the David Alan Grier-anchored Chocolate News ended forever. Is it possible—even in this Obama era—America's not ready for bad TV?

Martha Stewart is mystified by "Notorious B.I.G.," and believes all black people know each other. Kathie Lee Gifford thinks Hoda Kotb was born in Africa. Welcome to post-racial American television!

See, Barack Obama speaks to white people like this: "Hello whites, let's talk about budgets!" But he talks to black people like this: "I'm Barack from Chicago, (fist pound)." Politico is racist, for real.

Did you know that African-Americans made many contributions to the grocery industry? Such as collard greens, pork hocks, and bologna. All celebrated on this grocery store's Black History month flier. African-Americans love that pork!

Obama's inauguration being held on the day after Martin Luther King, Jr. day? Historic! Moving! And, for corporate America, a great chance to get a two-for-one deal on its annual "We Love Diversity" ads.

Even though Barack Obama has won and American racism is over forever, the Today show still doesn't know how to talk about black people. To wit: today's "does Obama have enough street cred?" segment.

We've all been there: stuck in the uncomfortable position of having to make conversation with an African-American friend, colleague, or husband. Ugh, so awkward. What could we possibly talk about? New answer: Barack Obama!

With tourists flooding into DC for next week's inauguration of Barack Obama, thousands of people are expected to skip out on work. Thousands of black people.