Now that Obama has been elected, a tipster inside a PR firm tells us, clients are demanding "an increased number of African Americans added to the guest list" at their holiday parties. In the spirit of hope! The email can't really be "verified," but appears genuine and is just too important not to share. This firm has even assembled an official internal "Diversified Holiday Guest List," in which they rank the top 10 acceptable black socialite attendees, in order of desirability. Uh... yes we can? After the jump, meet the fashion world's ten favorite African-Americans for Obama-era parties. Jesus christ:

Pasty British expat writer Toby Young has news for you, America: your new president isn't "black," so stop acting all excited. "[Am] I the only person in the world who's noticed that Barak [sic] Obama isn't black?" he wonders. "Slaves were black. Barak [sic] Oboma [sic] isn't descended from slaves. He was born in Hawaii and raised by two white people." Can you school us any more on the intricacies of the blacks, Mr. Nilla?

In 1964, a group of black and white civil rights protesters attempted to integrate the pool of the Monson Hotel in St. Augustine, Florida. The hotel's owner, James Brock, responded by dumping acid into the pool. That was considered reasonable. This year, the Obama campaign opened a field office in St. Augustine, the most organized effort ever by a Democratic presidential campaign to win the Republican county surrounding my hometown. Obama ended up winning Florida and the entire country, a far stronger rebuke to the James Brocks of America than Martin Luther King Jr. was ever able to deliver. Jesse Jackson, who was there when King got shot, cried hardest of all last night. The old civil rights warriors feel this election more deeply than anyone else. The irony is that the civil rights movement never could have gotten to this day itself. Before this Obama election gets too grounded in our national psyche, let's go ahead and banish the hopeful assertion that this marks the beginning of a "Post-racial" society. As has been pointed out by everyone from Tavis Smiley to TAN, we're not post-anything. Race is just as strong of a psychological factor as it ever was. Our socialization has changed, and our expectations have been moderated, but America is far, far away from being a place where people "don't see" race.

In this time of war, the US Marine Corps is ready to do whatever it takes to meet its recruitment levels, and that includes teaching black people not to be so darn scared of the water. In this ad that aired during the NBA Finals last week, the Marines send a simple, straightforward message: "Hey, black people. We know you can't swim. That's okay! We'll teach you how, and then let you ride in a cool boat, if you just sign up for the Marines now. Okay? Okay." Watch the subtle stereotyping in action below:

• Nike uses the Don Imus controversy for an ad campaign it hopes "will spark continued conversation about race in America." And sell sneakers. [AdAge]
  

Hasn't Wesley Autrey given enough already?

Ghetto Pass is on sabbatical. Here, after the colon, and third comma, is your new feature summary written in small type:

Sigh. Maybe Joseph Epstein was right.

Ghetto Pass correspondent The Assimilated Negro weighs in on yesterday's groundbreaking NYT coverage of black people who listen to white people music (which, the paper helpfully informs you, was actually invented by black people. His report follows.

In December's Esquire, and in a HuffPo excerpt, screenwriter John Ridley (pictured) eschews pussyfooting around the 'n-word.' He also eschews, um, making any kind of sense.

Not to minimize the seriousness of the article which it accompanies, but is this not the greatest photo caption ever to appear in the Times? You can read it so many different ways. It's kind of transfixing, actually.

Good news for white folks who want to watch The Wire but are afraid that they might not be able to follow the complex argot of the show's duskier characters: Noted ethnographer Jake Weisberg is here to help.