"Hollywood director Robert Greenwald" and the Daily News's Rush & Molloy made Bill O'Reilly very sad when they send some homeless vets over to Fox News's New York headquarters to deliver a petition to Bill O'Reilly about how they actually do exist. O'Reilly's ambush producer exclusively revealed that most of the picketing homeless vets don't even watch Fox. Then Bill played a clip from Xanadu. A Rush & Molloy stringer was also sort of abused, amusingly. Clip after the jump!

Bill O'Reilly is the hot-headed conservative TV host of The O'Reilly Factor, currently rated the most-watched news program on cable TV. He has also dabbled in semi-pro baseball, writing, and allegedly, the art of sexual harassment.

Back when John Edwards was running for president of America's Liberal White Men, he'd mention, at every opportunity, that there are 200,000 homeless veterans across our glorious nation. Hearing this upset Bill O'Reilly, who decided then that such a thing is impossible. Bill first insisted that there was no such thing as a homeless vet, then eventually ceded that there might be some, but probably not that many. He's right! There are only 196,000 homeless vets. Some of them protested outside Fox's headquarters yesterday, with the intention of providing Bill with a petition. Press coverage of the protest was minimal, though an O'Reilly producer showed up. The producer, Jesse Watters, is O'Reilly's official "ambush" man, and probably the smarmiest fuck on the planet. According to Radar, he spent a great deal of time accusing vets of, uh, calling our troops "baby-killers." The Culture War no longer even follows its own internal logic, does it? Anyway—there's video from the organizers. It's after the jump. [NYDN, Radar]

Bill O'Reilly's crusade against NBC (the result of his feud with MSNBC runner Keith Olbermann) reached a dramatic and hilarious peak recently when he sent his correspondents to ambush GE Chairman Jeffrey Immelt. Because they used to sell airplane parts to Iran, you see! This is a target far greater in power and influence than O'Reilly's usual liberal bugbears, but it's certainly not unprecedented for certain TV rebels to attack the giant conglomerate. It's just that it usually happens on programs broadcast on GE's own network. Join us for a few entertaining examples, won't you?

The gall of it! An aide to Barack Obama dared get in the way of Fox News' camera on a rope line in New Hampshire. Bill O'Reilly, the cable network's irascible star, was so incensed that he ended up in a shoving match with an aide to the Democratic presidential candidate, stopped only when the Secret Service told the right-wing news anchor to restrain himself. Bill O'Reilly's used to being treated with more respect, at least by the current administration. Welcome to life on the wrong side of the rope line! (After the jump, O'Reilly spins the incident on Fox News.)

You know that war you waged on Christmas? You lost. Last night, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly explained that he knows you're "furious!" and is ready to rub it in your Taliban-loving face.

Fox News motormouth Bill O'Reilly is upset—he says that his recent remarks about those oh-so-well-behaved black people in Harlem were totally taken out of context! So we wondered: Well, what context were they in? Searching through the Fox transcripts, using the terms "Black, "African" and "African-American," and discarding comments about Africa (such as about Darfur or the IMF), Intern Mary itemizes the way in which Bill O'Reilly has talked about black people.

Over the weekend, loud-mouth asshat and Fox News anchor Bill O'Reilly pulled what sort of looked like a Don Imus—but was really much worse. It seems that O'Reilly's most recent encounters with the black community have left him seriously impressed with how much progress they've made since he last checked in with them in the 70s. Concert-goers at that Anita Baker concert were well-dressed! And dinner in Harlem with the Reverend Al Sharpton? O'Reilly said on his radio show that it was "like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense that people were sitting there, they were ordering and having fun and there wasn't any kind of craziness at all!"

Last night's "O'Reilly Factor" featured a discussion between noted solons Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly himself on the endlessly fascinating topic of "loser" Rosie O'Donnell. (Remember her? She used to be on "The View"?) Did you know she was polling even more poorly among Fox News viewers than President Bush? Well, she is. Also, they hate her.

While the rest of us are drinking and snoozing, the television is trying to transmit important information into our homes. Today, our special correspondent for T.V. punditry catches us up on the chat shows. Because we totally wouldn't watch that shit if you paid us. Get your tinfoil hats on!

While the rest of us are drinking and snoozing, the television is trying to transmit important information into our homes. Today, our special correspondent for T.V. punditry catches us up on the week in chat shows. Because we totally wouldn't watch that shit if you paid us. Get your tinfoil hats on!

• Jenna Elfman will play a book publicist who's "intensely loyal to her clients," as opposed to the book publicists who hate their clients, in a new sitcom produced by Darren Star. We're sure it'll be just as realistic about the book publishing industry as Sex and the City was about the life of an alt-weekly columnist. [Galleycat]
  

We asked, and you have answered. Your tales of woe have us thanking our lucky, lucky stars that the word assistant is no longer in our vocabularies. Please keep in mind that we, and you, will be selecting a pair of winners who will have the unprecedented opportunity to get wasted with Gawker editors and Page Six moue Paula Froelich. You wouldn't want to miss that, would you? No, you wouldn't. Send your tips to mole@gawker.com.

News comes today (via the Daily News, natch) that nine Fox affiliates are refusing to show Judith Regan's OJ interview. Last week, Bill O'Reilly came out against the interview and book, promising never again to buy a product from any of the interview's sponsors. Fellow Fox "journalist" Geraldo Rivera joined O'Reilly in lambasting the interview, saying "I will bash this project every minute I have the opportunity to bash this project."
Post scourge Andrea Peyser, however, is sticking by her employer's guns:

A tipster kindly sent over the "save the date" for the News Corp. holiday party, to be held next month with what seems to be an aviational theme. One might assume, after Bill O'Reilly's temper tantrums last year about companies that have taken the Christmas out of the Christmas season, that his employer would've gone to great lengths to make sure that the party was appropriately Christian-themed ... or at the very least, called a Christmas party. Can we even get a pine tree up in this piece?

Last night was the launch party for 02138, the glossy new Harvard magazine that's not specifically for alums but will only be read with any regularity by alums. The lovable snots over at IvyGate were in attendance and report that not only was the party somewhat decent (save for the speech from the UVA-alum publisher), but the magazine's good too. As for A-list attendance, however:

In an interview with Barbara Walters, Fox News harridan Bill O'Reilly claims that the FBI told him he was on Al Qaeda's death list. Over at Radar, however, a little reportage reveals, shockingly, that O'Reilly sense of self might be inflated.

On Friday night, 20/20 will air Barbara Walters' interview with Fox News screamer Bill O'Reilly. The two prance around his Long Island McMansion, talk about how he's so fucking tall and marvel at how nice Walters looks when they use that soft, fuzzy lens. Then they get on the topic of why Bill O'Reilly is so bitter, and he drops the dirty bomb: "The FBI came in and warned me and a few other people at Fox News that Al Qaeda had us on a death list."

There are many ways to go about ridiculing Fox News screambox Bill O'Reilly. If you're mouthy, you can shout "Shut up!" at every given opportunity. If you're crafty, you can distribute personalized falafel loofahs as holiday gifts, as did the Smoking Gun in 2004. If you're enterprising, you can even start your own satirical spin-off on Comedy Central. All are perfectly acceptible ways of deriding a man who seems to have been sent from above solely for the sake of mockery. Hell, if you're lazy, you can even just don an O'Reilly mask and do a stupid dance. You cannot, however, don an O'Reilly mask and do a Nazi salute. MSNBC host Keith Olbermann tried it this weekend, and the humor just got overshadowed by that whole systematic extermination thing.