Like the God of the Old Testament, Beyoncé's terrifying wrath is matched in severity only by her devastating creative prowess. That is why on Friday night she released a video for 7/11, a track from her upcoming album that was released on Friday morning.

Normally Michelle Williams is the person in Beyoncé's sphere who is regarded with the most pity. Over the weekend, however, that distinction went to Solange Knowles, whom God would not allow to be more beautiful than her sister, even on her wedding day.

Solange Knowles—the songwriter, silent film star, and sister of Beyoncé—got married to her fiancé, Alan Ferguson, this weekend. The entire wedding party wore white, Solange and Alan rode around on antique bikes, and Jay Z was there.

According to director Joseph Kahn, for a few hours on the morning of November 10th, the yoohoos at Yahoo prematurely uploaded the unpremiered video for Taylor Swift's new single "Blank Space." While the file was pulled shortly thereafter, fan-uploaded versions continue to surface. It's a pretty fun video, particularly if you have ever wondered what Beyoncé might be like if she were white and insane.

Beyoncé and Jay Z are allegedly planning on spending next year living in a French chateau, where they "hope to conceive their second child." Allons-y!

Last night, rapper Jay Z and his lifelike wife Beyoncé attended a basketball game in Brooklyn, where they watched the Nets thrash the visiting Oklahoma City Thunder, 116 to 85. Or, anyway, that's what was happening in front of them. God only knows what Beyoncé was seeing.

Beyoncé's label has confirmed that she will release an expanded version of last year's BEYONCÉ later this month, but the "leaked" memo detailing its release was bullshit. Instead of an entire new album, it will come with a six-song EP. Unless this is all a ruse and she's going to surprise us again!

This weekend, the internet circulated a supposed leaked internal memo detailing Beyoncé's next album—an expanded version of last year's BEYONCÉ, which came out of nowhere (as far as the average civilian music fan was concerned) and with a video for each track. Per the document, which features the logos of Beyoncé's management company (Parkwood Entertainment) and the record label she is signed to (Columbia), a digital version will drop a week from Friday (Nov. 14), and a 4-disc physical set is due Nov. 25. The re-release will feature the original BEYONCÉ album, a new disc of 11 new songs (including the already released "***Flawless" remix with Nicki Minaj), a DVD of both albums' videos, a DVD of her Mrs. Carter concert, and a final DVD of her On the Run show with Jay Z.

This is perfect. On a scale of 1 to 10, I rate it an 1814.

On the road to promote her upcoming album Nostalgia, Annie Lennox has tried, it seems, to start something with Beyoncé. Sure, why not? Last month, she called Bey "feminist lite," and in an interview with NPR's Steve Inskeep yesterday, she clarified, "twerking is not feminism."

He had a much kinder response to Ellen Grossman's similar question, but this, "Who are you?" is raw and real.

Unlike some people, ahem.

In keeping with the honored tradition started by David After the Dentist, 17-year-old Cody Lanphere's mother recorded him at his loopiest while driving home from having his wisdom teeth removed. His eyes swell with tears as he asks, "Where is Beyoncé? She told—she told me she'd be here. She lied to me! She lied to me, mommy."

Law & Order: SVU has never been shy about "ripping" its stories from "the headlines." But an upcoming episode of the long-running cop theatrical is treating headlines like a hoarder does garbage.

The main reaction to Jay-Z and Beyoncé's On the Run Tour seemed to be some variation of "Jay-Z sucks! Get this old asshole off the stage!" I don't disagree—Jay-Z is old, and in 2014 he doesn't really belong on a stage with Beyoncé. But let us not forget that Jay-Z was better than Beyoncé is.

Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj performed their "Flawless" remix live for the first time last night at a stop on Beyoncé and Jay Z's "On the Run" tour in Paris. You can watch it now, if you want!

As far as surprise guests dropping into your grade school classroom go, you could do little better than the leader of the free world. You could do a little better, though.

Last week, Caity Weaver and I took a break from stuffing our faces to attend Dave Duminuco's Be (Better Than) Beyoncé workout class, which is currently held on Friday evenings at Awakening NY in Brooklyn's Greenpoint neighborhood. Here is how the one-hour class's Facebook page describes it: