Broken Beyoncé Malfunctions; Warranty Invalid Due to User Error
Last night, rapper Jay Z and his lifelike wife Beyoncé attended a basketball game in Brooklyn, where they watched the Nets thrash the visiting Oklahoma City Thunder, 116 to 85. Or, anyway, that's what was happening in front of them. God only knows what Beyoncé was seeing.
Based on a Splash News video titled "Beyoncé has very animated conversation with Jay-Z, later sways back and forth, but with no music playing while at basketball game NYC," it was beautiful.
As the explanatory title suggests, Beyoncé spends a large portion of the 2 minute, 45 second clip rocking herself back and forth in her chair, apparently to the tune of nothing. The ambient noise of a basketball game, perhaps. The silent whir of the spinning Earth as it whips through outer space.
She sways gently at first, as if trying to soothe a baby that is herself to sleep, and then with increasingly pronounced undulations, as if piloting an invisible ship through a violent tempest.
It's chilling to watch, in the same way that her uncanny stillness in the infamous elevator brawl footage was chilling to watch.
What does Beyoncé do in her private moments?
Absolutely nothing.
