Perhaps you've had occasion to browse a newsstand recently (why) and you've noticed something odd. Take that first "d" and replace it with an "l" and you're well on your way to understanding a thrilling new trend in photos of notable women. No, that isn't softskinned Kentucky beauty queen Jennifer Lawrence on the cover of the latest issue of What's the Deal, Ladies magazine. Nor do those tap shoes with a Pilgrim buckle sit on the ankles of the nubile Scarlett Johansson as she poses like Venus on the Babes For Real bi-monthly. That woman you see, well, she is a woman of a certain age.

If you ever reach the soothing point of equilibrium at which it is possible to stop feeling that the advertising industry is constantly manipulating you, I encourage you to stop and consider this new ad campaign for skin care for 20somethings—who are, let's face it, looking a little decrepit.

Thigh gap. Why?

"Only little boys and low-class men are into breasts." "I will tell me $2mm a year hedge fund DH from a prominent family that my natural 32DDs make him low class. He will love that." The patrician commenters of UrbanBaby.com discuss true beauty.

Our sister site Jezebel, which has a grand history of documenting precisely how grotesquely fashion magazines digitally carve up their cover subjects into impossible avatars of manufactured beauty, is offering a $10,000 bounty for original, unphotoshopped images from Lena Dunham's recent Vogue shoot. Hopefully Dunham will hand them over and collect.

Are you a wealthy white person with way too much time on your hands? Then do we have the workout for you!

Nail polish: a weird product that girls buy. We may never know why. What we do know, thanks to actual statistics, is this: the Great Nail Polish Bubble of 2012 has burst. What gives, nailpersons?

Pay attention, beauty-loving Americans: the jack-booted thugs of Big Government are coming to take away your right to burn people's skin with a laser without any medical training whatsoever.

In April, Dove Real Beauty campaign launched a saccharine video campaign that indicated that women have low self-confidence and downplay their own beauty. Strangers who described women they had just met to forensic sketch artists described "prettier" versions than the ones described by women talking about themselves. The video concludes: “You are more beautiful than you think.” But actually, it turns out, we have no idea what we really look like.

Dita Von Teese, the only burlesque queen that your mom knows by name, is currently plugging her new beauty book. In an 2600 word interview with beauty site Into The Gloss, she runs through her makeup routine in heavy detail. She also briefly talks about how she and ex-husband Marilyn Manson used to dye their hair black together, which really just warms your little black heart.

A beauty contest seeking to discover the ten most beautiful college students in China's Hubei Province has come under fire for requiring applicants to prove that their nipples are a specific distance apart from each other.

XO Jane went through a lot of serious drama when they had to part ways with dust-smoking suicidal narcissist downtown swinger beauty columnist Cat Marnell, after they had sucked every last car-wreck-in-action page view that they reasonably could from her while still maintaining a decent Caring Big Sister posture. But there's good news, desperate readers: XO Jane has an equally depressed suicidal beauty writer to serve as Marnell's spiritual successor.

Allow us to remind the "good people" (bad people) at the New York Times Style section that they already published the ne plus ultra of enraging Rich People Summer Camp trend stories last year, with their classic "Rich people are sending their kids to expensive summer camps on private jets" piece. No double-dipping in the Most Enraging Rich People Summer Camp Stories pool, NYT. I see you trying.

Today, in the year 2012, long after Martin Luther King Jr. and all those other guys marched and stuff, there still exists, right here in New York City, the type of discrimination that would have made Sojourner Truth stand up and say, "I don't think so!" [Pause for laughter.] That's right: salons are charging dudes different prices than women, for stuff, sometimes.

America's ugly duckling, Jessica Plain and Tall, has finally given herself the gift of acceptance:

People with half a god damn brain in their heads not drugged to a stupor by that evil emotion "hope" have long understood that "anti-wrinkle creams" are bullshit. That, of course, has not stopped Americans from buying them by the truckload. We are a fundamentally dumb people. We must be protected from ourselves.

If you're like most Americans, you've felt insecure about the size of your chin. It's not sufficiently pronounced. It doesn't have Greco-Roman definition. Maybe it even looks like a butt. Lucky for you, plastic surgery has an answer — and a surprising number of people have taken advantage of it. Last year, the number of chin implant surgeries rose 71 percent to 20,680.

Your baby: it has some issues. Let's be real. Its baby skin is... not so perfect. Nothing you'd want to be seen in public with. Your baby's beauty reflects on you. The good news: your baby's hideousness is nothing that hundreds of dollars worth of beauty products can't temporarily fix.

Now, we don't want to alarm you, but it's time you learned the truth. Magazines sometimes touch up photos of celebrities. I know. I know! It's shocking to think that Redbook might not be the absolute model of a journalistic commitment to the truth. But there it is. And here's a good way to deal with it.

It's Thanksgiving Eve, which means we here at Gawker are fully committed to bringing you as much sex, violence and cosmetology news as is fit to print. The pilgrims would have wanted it that way. How about a "knock-down, drag-out fight" at a Wal-Mart nail salon outside Atlanta — with video? Yes. We thought you'd enjoy that, sickies.