Fat American wombs are overstuffed with fat baby eating machines that will soon die! Judo and soda taxes are our only hope. It's your daily fitness watch, where we watch your fitness—while jogging!

Today on Good Morning America, Mr. Met demonstrated some questionable moves behind a clueless JuJu Chang. We've played it over and over and still can't tell if he's guilty of being an on-air perv or just has some major balls.

Shea stadium is a relic now, but before "insert random bank" Field was built, Shea stadium was home to all the rowdies. Watch as they take full advantage of this sleeping fan.

NBC Nightly News took an uncharacteristically personal turn tonight, as anchor Brian Williams opened the broadcast with the news that Mark McGwire admitted past steroid use today in a letter to his former team. Inside, video of Williams' surprising statement.

This is the animated tale of Dock Ellis' legendary LSD no-hitter against the San Diego Padres on June 12, 1970.

Here, an new animated short video celebrating the day that Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis threw a no-hitter while blind-tripping on acid. Truly one of the greatest American drug accomplishments of the 20th century. Learn your history, kids. [James Blagden]

One of those "good work, Yankees" congressional resolutions seems like a no-brainer. But! Some Congressmen who represent the New York metro area pretend to root for the Yankees, while others of them pretend to care about the Mets.

The Yankees win 27 championships and all of the sudden these hot shots are too important to answer questions about how amazing they are. Derek Jeter, what a jerk.

There are many reasons to mourn the slow death of the newspaper industry — first and foremost the hordes of people losing their jobs. The disappearance of all-expense-paid journalist conventions masquerading as "major assignments" is not one of them.

The hard part about covering a baseball event called the "World Series," which is 106 years old? Finding new angles. Hey, here's one from the WSJ: Find a town halfway between Philly and NYC—who do they root for?!? Sounds...familiar.

When the Bernie Madoff scandal broke, New York Mets fans were momentarily terrified because the team's owners had huge accounts with Madoff's firm. Turns out that was the Mets' best investment. Hey-o!

The Way We Live Now: Drunk, hungry, and resentful. Governments want liquor companies—but why not Jewish delis? Baseball teams pay lots of money to good baseball players, sure—why not to me? Is that fair? And where's my sandwich?

Celebrating Yankee hero Derek Jeter's record-breaking hit last Friday in the family suite: His parents, sister, girlfriend, and...Fox & Friends blondebot Gretchen Carlson. She's married to Jeter's agent. God. Lou Gehrig is crying, from heaven. [Click to enlarge. Thanks, W!]

Yesterday the New York Mets fired their VP of player development for being a psycho—then tried to insinuate that a Daily News beat writer sabotaged the guy in order to steal his job. Today the reporter responds: No, liar.

Tonight Barack Obama threw out the first pitch at the 2009 Major League Baseball All-Star game. Gambling websites have been taking bets on whether or not he would bounce the pitch to home plate! So how did he do?

With the stink of celebrity deaths and recession wafting around us, we need a restorative figure of youth. A symbol of American virility. A man who, despite his antiquated views of women and Jews, can make America feel giddy again.

Back in 2005, John Roberts said his job as a justice was "to call balls and strikes," like in baseball. This was the most insidious statement ever uttered by a SCOTUS nominee, as today's Sotomayor hearing showed.

The Way We Live Now: Sucked of our nectar. How far does this hellacious recession reach? All the way into Nantucket, hallowed home of corporate titans. Jack Welch now supports himself by re-selling home run balls he caught, fact.

The bankrupt Tribune Co. has finally reached a deal to sell the Chicago Cubs, reportedly for close to $900 million. Only, ah, $11 billion more until Sam Zell has that debt knocked out! [Pic: AP]

Yesterday we posted Sony's take on why Moneyball, the Soderbergh/Pitt film based on Michael Lewis' book, died five days before shooting was to start. Now someone close to the project has provided us with a different version of events.