Toronto tattoo artist Andrew Ottenhof got a tattoo of Charlie Sheen wearing a tiger head. It also has the Twitter bird and a couple of hash tags. One of these days, Andrew is going to wish he could chop this off with a machete. Oh, and next time someone asks if there's anyone stupider and crazier than Charlie Sheen, point them toward Canada.

The day after a Harlem 6th grader died during a class trip to the beach, Brooklyn elementary school teacher Christine Rubio—who has been teaching for 15 years—updated her Facebook status to this:

Who's the latest to hop on the Charlie Sheen Manic Episode Train, currently heading express to Someone Getting Seriously Hurt And Probably Dead? Yes, it's loudmouth billionaire Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, who's apparently talking with Sheen about developing TV shows for Cuban's cable channel HDNet:

Yesterday, a tipster sent us this photo that a friend had taken at a Manhattan Baby Gap store near Union Square. If we didn't know better, we'd say that Baby Gap is now in the lynching business.

After a Toronto Star investigation, the Canadian government has acknowledged that it used Agent Orange — the same cancer- and birth defect-causing chemical used by the U.S. military to clear the jungles of Vietnam — to clear brush from roadsides in Ontario between the 1950s and 1980s. Yes, until the fucking 80s!

A Staten Island couple was arrested after taking their six-year-old daughter to a police station in an attempt to scare the girl into behaving. Annette Gerhardt and Gerardo Santiago were charged with child endangerment for bringing the tot into the station.

The AP reports today that over half the members of the Texas House have signed onto a measure requiring that universities allow students and faculty to carry concealed weapons on campus. What a terrible idea.

Let's say you're going to hold up a gun store. You'd at least load your pistol, right? Well, someone should have told that to the two guys who tried to rob a 65-year-old gun store clerk in Kansas City yesterday. The would-be robbers asked for ammo and put $40 on the counter. Then, from the Kansas City Star:

Killing a doctor who performs abortions could soon be legal in South Dakota — that is, if a bill passed out of committee in the state House of Representatives on Monday, which makes it a "justifiable homicide" for someone to kill anyone attempting to harm an unborn child, becomes law.

If you were filming your badass self driving 140 miles per hour and you got pulled over by police, wouldn't you maybe try to hide the video camera, or at least the tape? Stanislav Bakanov didn't care when he was pulled over for doing 118 mph in Oregon while filming a video to show off on YouTube:

Incessant coupon-offering behemoth Groupon made a jokey Super Bowl ad about Tibet that didn't go over well with... well, anyone. (Yes, even though it was for charity, okay.) After a week of vague public anger about this relatively unimportant topic, the company is finally pulling the ads, reasoning—correctly—that the drama is not accomplishing the ostensible purpose of the ads, which is to help Groupon become a mighty, unavoidable middleman in the buying and selling of goods in America.

A bill introduced in Arizona's state legislature would let it ignore any federal law if a committee thinks its unconstitutional. This is the legislative equivalent of a bratty kid overturning the Monopoly board when he realizes he's losing. (via)

House Republicans have given up on their quest to determine which types of rape-induced pregnancies should be eligible for federal abortion funding. "Forcible rape" has reverted back to "rape" in their impending abortion bill, which is still obviously very radical.

Another great move by deeply beloved and totally secure ABC News chief Ben Sherwood: he's reportedly hiring Dan Abrams. Yes, Dan Abrams, the current owner of a PR firm. To do some anchoring, there at ABC! How does that work?

You know what would be a great way for a surf shop to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s legacy? With a big sale! On black products only. Wait, sorry, not "great"—"wildly inappropriate." [OC Weekly via Fark]

A Latin American booze distributor now sells "dram in a can," 12 ounces of whiskey in one vessel. That's eight shots, so they're marketing it as "the perfect size to be shared between three people." Scottish whiskey makers are outraged.

The Huffington Post maintains a small army of wage slaves who spend all day "moderating" the site's millions of comments. Their current primary task: to ensure that no comments are published about Arianna Huffington's wanton airplane Blackberry-ing incident.

Some overeager hunter in Georgia hooked up a bunch of shotguns to be fired via webcam. A state wildlife employee found the rig last fall and reported it to the Department of Homeland Security. We're never leaving the house again.

Oh look, it's a billboard for Rush Limbaugh featuring a bunch of bullet holes. This billboard is located in Tucson, Arizona. We blame the liberal media, somehow.

We should thank delightful Rep. Louie Gohmert, in a way, for bringing this post-Tucson spree of hastily conceived legislative proposals to its natural conclusion: He's drafting a bill that allows members of Congress to carry guns on the House floor.