Today in Christmas Gifts Your Mom Could Do Without: your assault victim's still-bloody bathrobe.

South Carolina's proposed "coon hunters" license plate is not racist. The South Carolina State Coon Hunters Association just wants to celebrate shooting raccoons and "insure that our hunting privileges are not infringed upon," OK? [TPM, image via]

As you may have heard, the Republican party simply does not care for Barack Obama's health care law. And yet it's still a law! How is this fair? It's not. Time to introduce a constitutional amendment banning, uh, laws, then.

Remember that $11 million fake Christmas tree adorned with rubies, gold and diamonds in the lobby of the Emirates Palace hotel? The hotel says it regrets "attempts to overload" the holiday with gaudiness, and then blamed it on a jeweler.

Michael Vick on NBC News: 'I would love to get a dog in the future.'

In the name of getting good statistical data, New York City is randomly denying poor people access to a program designed to stave off homelessness. If those unlucky people become homeless, you know it works! Oh... is that frowned upon?

Ginni Thomas, Tea Party big-wig and wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, has conceded her "mistake" in demanding an apology from Anita Hill over the 1991 confirmation hearings fiasco, over voicemail. Clearly she should have sent a text message.

The new 'Video Girl' Barbie comes with a video camera embedded in her necklace. The FBI just issued an alert that Video Girl could be "a possible child pornography production method." If you see a 34-year-old man buying this, beware.

Unionized government employees are a major part of the Democratic base. Organizing for America is Barack Obama's outreach organization to the base. So why is OFA asking the base to write letters supporting its newly frozen salaries? Unusual politics, that.

Hating Sarah Palin is a personal hobby of mine. But there are lines even I won't cross! GWAR—shock rockers who dress like Transformers at a swingers sex club—recently "went there" by disemboweling Sarah Palin in effigy on stage.

Privacy is so last season. And Scottish designer Gerry Mckay has the perfect footwear to ring in an oversharey 2011: Adidas trainers touting social network affiliations.

President Obama has set aside an extra $4.1 billion for America's nuclear weapons arsenal.

A horde of genetically-modified mutant mosquitoes has been unleashed on the Cayman Islands to kill other mosquitoes that carry potentially deadly dengue fever. The millions of sterilized male mosquitos will mate with wild females, but produce no offspring.

The FBI has charged 17 people with participating in a decade-long scam to bilk the government out of millions of dollars that were designated for Holocaust survivors and WWII Nazi victims. God will not be smiling on these people.

Police suspect Steven Spader, 18, in a gruesome New Hampshire machete murder. Partly because they found a wallet connected to the victims in a bag with a sweatshirt bearing the writing "This is Steve's sweatshirt. Steve who is awesome." [AP]

An Australian named Thomas John Collins spent a "stint in the cells" last week after calling his judge "mate." Twice. And then, when the judge demanded Collins call him "sir or your honour," Collins replied, "okay mate." Bad idea. [via]

Do you need to stay up late? Don't do this: British "partygoer" Michael Bedford took two spoonfuls of internet-purchased pure caffeine powder (70 Red Bulls' worth) and chased it with an energy drink. He collapsed, and died in the hospital.

The president of the Bodega Association of the United States, Ramon Murphy is urging store owners in New York to apply for gun permits after a clerk was killed in a robbery attempt on Saturday. Sounds like a bad idea.

Following in the footsteps of Carl Paladino's probably unhelpful stink-bomb mailer to his constituents, another campaign, that of California congressional candidate Van Tran, has sent out a stinky scratch-and-sniff mailer. And, when engaged, it smells like absolute shit.

A "health clinic" in Estonia is drumming up business for its weight-loss services by having a larger girl marked "Before" and a slimmer girl marked "After" walk around handing out fliers. We're horribly embarrassed for all involved, ourselves included. [Adfreak]