We report, you decide. This week in baby rumors, is Natasha Lyonne preggers? Last time we stalked caught up with our favorite crazee, she looked "clean, clear eyed and smiled a lot" with Chloe Seviggasygny. Now, our stalker says she has a bun in the oven. What do you think? Not is she pregnant, but SHOULD she be pregnant? What is in store for the baby, being the spawn of a celebrity? How much will Natasha get for the pics? Sighting after the jump.

Attached, Nicole Richie's million dollar baby. As in one-million dollars, the price paid by People for the exclusive. Holy buckets, you say—what an expensive baby! You, sir, are naive. This is the bargain baby! Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was worth $4m. Jennifer Lopez's new twins went for more than $3m each! (How awesome would it have been, actually, if Jennifer had sold one twin to People and the other to OK!?) Even Christina Aguilera's loser baby was worth $1.5! And once Angelina has this next phantom baby the photo will probably cost some outlet enough to publicly finance the presidential election. Or like ten minutes of Iraq! This is the business model that will save the magazine industry. And keep our celebrities the way we like them: pregnant and complicit in the exploitation of their families. [Related]

All writer Lynn Harris did was ask people on the Brooklynian messageboard why people hate Park Slope, and all that it represents, so much. (She's working on an article for New York.) The brownstone neighborhood used to be cheaper and down-to-earth, with lots of lesbian couples and artistes, but these days it's known for armies of anal-retentive richie moms with their passive-aggressive strollering. The article will "focus not just on WHAT people say they hate about Park Slope, but also WHY the hate seems to have become a meme of its own. Why PS and not other gentrified, Bugaboozled parts of Manhattan? Why has Park Slope become shorthand for all that is evil and twee?" Answer our poll!

New York Times rich people beat reporter, billionaire-marrier, possible orgy enthusiast, and over-sharing plastic surgery addict Alex Kuczynski is expecting! Expecting a surrogate mother to carry and deliver her baby, that is, according to Liz Smith. Alex and her ridiculously wealthy (and ripped) husband Charles Stevenson have reportedly tried "several times" at this child-having thing, to no avail. Stevenson has five children from other women, a set-up the Kucz has commented on with approval on other occasions. (All you have to do is cheer them on at graduation—no weight gain or unseemly marks or scars!) So, we ask you, the Gawker readership: who on Earth is currently feeding and growing the spawn of the Amazing Plastic Woman?

Details editor Dan Peres—not gay but ok with that, unrepentant douchebag and totally ok with that—just had a kid! Peres' son, Oscar Dallas Wynter Peres, was born Monday and will be impeccably groomed. [WWD]

In a rare televised coming together of three of the most powerful stars on the planet, Tom Hanks and a back-from-the-child-rearing-abyss Julia Roberts appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show today to promote Charlie Wilson's War, the first of what is sure to be many vigorous lap dances performed by the pair for an always A-list-horny Oscar.

Mayor Bloomberg's advice to a new father: "Take changing rather than feeding. It's quick. I don't care how dirty it is. It's quick." Also, make sure to belittle, harass, and eventually fire the mother. [Staten Island Advance via NYO]

So after much deliberation we've selected the finalists for Gawker's Pick The Most Pretentious Baby Name Consultant Contest 2007. We'll put up a poll tomorrow, but we wanted to share some of the runners-up, names that came close but didn't quite contain the je ne sais quoi one looks for in a totally twatty midget moniker. Also, we'll give you one more shot: If you've got a name that you think deserves inclusion in the poll, put it in the comments: It might just make the finals!

We were heartened by the discussion over at that "Here's some money, name my baby" post. But then we thought to ourselves, hey, this could be a potential career for someone! So here's the deal: Submit your most pretentious (but plausible) baby name, either via e-mail or in the comments section. We'll take the five best and put them to a test of the Gawker audience. The winner will then be able to set him or herself up as an "award-winning nomenclature consultant," with all the fame and fortune that such a lofty designation ensues. Remember, try and give us something that the kind of schmuck who pays $50 for a list of names pulled out of a book would actually fall for: "Ralph" (pronounced Ra-Fay) works, "Scottwaffle" less so. And don't be afraid to share stories of pretentiously-named babies you know. We want to share little Gramercy's story with the world! Let's go, kids, here's your shot at the big time.

Undeterred by the bloggy debate (that some terrible people have permitted to occur) about whether or not it's okay to publicly breastfeed, Maggie Gyllenhaal soldiers on for women's right to lactate in public without shame or apology. I'm 200% serious about this, by the way. If and when I have children I am going to breastfeed them until they're 6, wherever I go, because I am always going to be poor and that is free baby food.

Pity poor Post reporter Jeremy Olshan. Not only does he have a low sperm count, he's being forced by his employer to blog about it. He's only two posts into describing his and his wife's quest to get knocked up via IVF, but he already seems to have mastered the oversharey, unnecessary-detail-filled art of blogging. He's not afraid to go there! And by 'there,' we mean, "into a detailed description of attempting to inject his wife's upper outer thigh with drugs, and failing."

We complain a lot about Park Slope parents and their double-wide Bugaboos and such, but to our knowledge, no parents have yet been spotted with a $4,000 nine-karat gold accented Maclaren stroller, or a $17,000 diamond-encrusted pacifier, or a $3,000 made-to-order Goyard diaper bag, or even an $850 Gucci baby carrier. Not yet! There's lots more in this Forbes slide show about the "Hippest Baby Bling" (the Louis Vuitton diaper bag is a relative bargain at $1,870) that rational people might find completely insane, but fortunately, Forbes manages to find a way to justify these expenditures.

Spotted on several lampposts in the vicinity of the Starbucks at 7th Ave. and Garfield Place in Park Slope.

What, pray tell, is up with this maternity tee with a cut-out fetus on it? Manufactured by a retailer called "Tall Man With Glasses," this shirt absolutely befuddles us. Is it meant to be somehow geekily ironic, like its maker's other shirts, which feature "missing image" images and the legend "human beta"? Or is it a commentary on partial-birth abortion, or the recent disturbing rash of fetus thefts? We would honestly like your insights. Come on, let's turn this into Babble again!

Tall Man With Glasses [Cafe Press]

"Hey, look what just dropped out of my vagina!"

Parents Babble: The Human Face of Hipster Parenting [Babble]

It turns out that all is not wrong with the world; apparently, that male lactation video we linked to yesterday is, thankthegoodfuckinglord, fake, as per this tipster:

We continue to be shocked at the secrets of breast-feeding. Last week, it was breast friends; this week, we turn to an aspect of breast-feeding that we found incredible, even by Park Slope standards: male lactation. After all, why should women have all the fun?

Yesterday we discussed our feeling that something in our lives was missing because our mother had never found us a breast friend—that is, another baby our age who she would've nursed while we were being nursed by our friend's mother—unlike Babble.com columnist Jennifer Baumgardner, who gave in to her friend Anastasia's wish that their children would know each woman like they knew their own mothers. In our childless ignorance, we had to admit that there was something vaguely lesbian pornarific about the whole thing, especially the way Baumgardner describes how Anastasia could "squirt milk into [her son] Lionel's mouth from several inches away, like a fountain." But then a tipster revealed that if we lived in Moscow, this whole thing wouldn't sound so strange.