So much for Daniel and Isabella. "Barack" is poised to become a big baby name thanks to his victory on Tuesday. A number of new moms in Kenya have reportedly named their newborns after the President-elect in recent days, and it isn't just limited to Barack's first name. "Michelle" is expected to grow in popularity, too, and one South Florida couple even named their son "Obama" on Wednesday. [Reuters]
Sometimes it's fascinating to just sit back and watch an ad campaign get progressively farther and farther away from any intelligible sales pitch, as the ad masterminds behind it become more and more convinced that they are artists, damn it. Wrangler somehow got itself tangled up with French admen for its truly vapid "We Are Animals" campaign, currently underway. First those guys made some existentialist tripe about life and death to sell Wranglers, for chrissake. But at least that had some "concept" behind it. Now they're just showing a crawling baby. That's it. LOLwhut:
Click to viewBoomp3.com A coy Jennifer Aniston quickly denied the claim that she had babies on the brain while waiting for a friend in a back alley. Aniston chuckled as she discovered the accidental thought bubble above her, saying, “Maybe I should stand underneath a sign that says 'Oscar winner,' or 'cheeseburger.'” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.
Don't be lulled by the hypnotic cuteness of these photos of Anjana the chimpanzee and her baby white tiger friends Mitra and Shiva at The Institute of Greatly Endangered and Rare Species in South Carolina. When the chimps start raising tigers, we're only a few years away from total world domination by our simian cousins. More pics after the jump. So you can, you know, study these deadly enemies of mankind. (Images from Barcroft Media)
We've long wondered about the fascination behind television shows featuring huge-ass families. And uh oh, here comes another one - tonight, TLC debuts 17 Kids and Counting, a reality show about the Duggars, a 19-member family from Arkansas. Former high school sweethearts Michelle and Jim Bob (yes, really) are — huge shocker here — super religious (a.k.a. they clearly don't use condoms) and believe "that every child is a gift to be cherished." They have ten boys and seven girls with number 18 on the way, so they obviously need some camera crews to come in and liven things up. Michelle has been pregnant for nearly 12 years of her life. Excuse us while we die for a moment. Anyway, this will mark TLC's second foray into the overgrown-clan genre. Jon and Kate Plus 8, another show about two parents with way too many babes, has proved successful for the network - even stirring up some controversy from those who believe "raising children is not theater." But why do audiences tune in to see screaming parents and whining tots?It's the "how the fuck do they do it — and why?" quotient. I mean, these people have got to be straight-up clinically insane, right? How do they pay for all of the spit-up rags and dollies and bottles? How do the husband and wife not kill each other after bickering constantly? (Lots of make-up sex, perhaps?) Why do they want so many kids - are they weird and religious or just super charitable and giving? And most importantly: how the hell did that woman pop so many out? Oy. Be the answers what they may, the best part about watching these shows has to be that when those sweet 30 minutes are up, you've got to feel so much better about your own spoiled brats. For your sake, we hope there are only a few of them.
Octogenarian Post gossipeuse Cindy Adams reports that the Enquirer tomorrow will run a photo of Rielle Hunter holding the baby John Edwards maybe held in that photo that was maybe him in that hotel room he met Rielle at. They will have "proof" that it is the same baby and "proof" that it is not photoshopped. Cindy Adams also reports this: "ENOUGH already with New York's financial woes. Soon, instead of a torch, the Statue of Liberty will hold up a tin cup and pencils." [NYP]
Everyone's favorite self-styled yet mildly unhinged teen role model, Atoosa Rubenstein, has brought new life into the world. The Daily reports that Toos and husband Ari "welcomed their first child Friday night, a daughter named Angelika McQueen Rubenstein." Which means the family share initials, just like that other hirsutely classy clan, the Kardashians. We can only hope that Atoosa, Ari and Angelika are fielding reality show offers as we speak. [The Daily]
As of just a couple hours ago, former Seventeen EIC-turned-spokeswoman for all American girls Atoosa Rubenstein was en route to the hospital. To have a baby! The tot will, no doubt, be dubbed "beta kitty" or something and, let's all pray, will be a girl. News of the Toos' water breaking was itself "broken" (ha) on important journalistic tool Facebook. Which is perfectly in line with Toos' general pregnancy oversharing habit. Screengrab of the historic Facebook update, after the jump:
[UPDATE: The ad agency in question has contacted us to say that these spots are spoofs from an unknown source, not actual ads approved by Bayer. Please note that as you read this post]. Well. Health care giant Bayer is advertising its new burn cream [actually, is not] by reaching out to cannibal mothers, apparently. The tagline on these ads out of Egypt reads, "Heals their burn and your guilt, fast." Ha, yes, ummm, we'll just back slowly out of the room now and call the authorities. Even serial fount of outrage Copyranter is left speechless at these. Click through for the other, equally horrific cartoony ad. If you are some sort of monster:
Hey, did you know that actors Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt welcomed two more strangely named children into the world over the weekend? Of course you did. It's been reported so many times, by so many news agencies and television programs that its signal has actually shot out into space to wrestle with the broadcast of the 1936 Berlin Olympics to instantly become outer space's most lingering evidence of humanity. But the important thing about the story (if there is an "important thing") is how desperately the tabloids scrambled for details and scoops and how epically, for the most part, they failed.
No wonder Lara Logan was so cranky on The Daily Show—she's preggers! Logan, the CBS war correspondent whose well-deserved promotion to CBS' chief foreign affairs correspondent was overshadowed by all this homewrecking nonsense, is now safely in Washington and expecting a child with Joseph Burkett, the contractor she famously carried on an affair with while stationed in Baghdad. The scoop comes from Washington Post "media critic" Howard Kurtz, which is funny, because he is generally useless and was all hand-wringy about how tabloidy this story was last week. Funny how a little exclusive can change a guy's mind, right? More passionate wartime forbidden love, below.
There was a time — let's call it "January" — that Britney Spears and her sister Jamie Lynn appeared to be a post-holiday gift granted to us by the benevolent Tabloid Gods: while Britney checked into the psych ward and spurned Dr. Phil's advances, Jamie Lynn pulled a Juno and got pregnant at age 16. Since then, though, the media firestorm surrounding the two has begun to burn out. Even Britney herself appears kind of over it; as Jamie Lynn prepared to give birth away from all the flashbulbs in McComb, Missouri, the slow pace of her natural delivery prompted Brit-Brit to snap her gum in annoyance:
It is spring, the season of fecundity. With that in mind, parenting website Babble presents us with 45 reasons to have a child—now! (I can think of only one: tax write-off.) We've highlighted four and added one of our own. Hey, did you know? These days, you can "buy a breast pump the size of a stopwatch."
Just in time for her reality show about having kids, Jennifer Lopez (known as JLo to people from 2003) wants to have more kids. The fading entertainer and her Peruvian shrunken head boyfriend husband Marc Anthony recently mashed genitals and produced twins, and her efforts to raise them while also coping with her big butt will be documented in an upcoming (self-financed!) TLC reality show. But two is not enough, what in this bizarro world where the simple act of procreating is worthy of adulating praise and millions of dollars. We've gotten to the point where I, if I wanted to adopt a child (which I don't), would have to show up at the agency, wearing a top hat and monocle, and introduce myself as H.S. Moneybags in order to have a chance at forking over thousands of dollars to get my grubby gay hands on a baby. Whereas Ms. Lopez and her celebrity friends have turned baby making and having and inevitably fucking up beyond all recognition into a little cottage industry of magazines and television shows and lord knows what else (as complained about on the Huffingon Post). Can it be Children of Men soon, please?
Celebrities and their kids are saving the earth from extinction by doing stuff! We always knew this to be the case. Today it's confirmed by the Daily News' servicey feature telling us how celebrities raise their kids to be "eco-friendly." By recycling them? No silly, by giving them pretentious names and then having their publicists send out a press release every time they buy them a carton of organic juice! Evidence of how low the bar for parenting and environmental self-congratulation has sunk: e-vites, cooking vegetables, and hardwood floors.
It's been only five weeks since Jennifer "Don't Call Me J. Lo" Lopez gave birth to twins and, magically, the singing sensation seems to have withered down to her pre-baby weight. Though we have often been mystified by what Jennifer does — particularly by her decision-making process post Wedding Planner in choosing which films to star in — her desire to quickly trim down doesn't surprise us in the slightest. To that end, we compared Lopez's figure from before Marc Anthony worked his magic on her urgent uterus to a photo of her weeks before she popped to her stunning appearance last night at the New York premiere of Shine A Light.
Child-website Babble launched its Playground today, a "social network for young families." What, the bars and coffeeshops of Park Slope and Boerum Hill and the entire world isn't enough of a social network for these people? It has photos of babies and videos of babies. Some of those babies appear to be in bars. The topics in the discussion forum? Priceless. (Those baby-hormones really start to affect typing/thinking skills, don't they?)
