What will Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos do next, after launching his grand Kindle swindle on the newspapers? He's aiming to get inside your offspring's heads!

Bezos's family foundation is funding research by University of Washington professor Patricia Kuhl, whose research seems to involve putting babies in really freaky-looking scientific equipment. Will this one day lead to Kindle Nanos getting implanted in their ocular nerves at birth? Will their brainwaves be mined to determine today's specials on Amazon.com? With Bezos looking more and more like Dr. Evil with every passing year, the mind boggles. But he already knew that.