Often—okay, always—former Seventeen EIC Atoosa Rubenstein finds herself pondering the time when she came to a crossroads in her life and decided to free herself from her "corporate sugar daddy" and strike out on her own to start her fabulous new [TK]. Today she wanders down memory lane again and realizes what really inspired her to leave her cushy job: German poet Rainer Maria Rilke!
Today's lesson from former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein: Affirm your greatness. Do not be one of those girls who hides her light under a bushel, engages in self-deprecatory behavior, or apologizes. It will keep you from embracing your inner 'Toos. Without pride, how you pull off a brass-knuckles-sized ring that spells out Big Momma?
You know why former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein loves you? Because you're not shallow. Well, at least, not all the time. Sometimes you're deeply concerned about serious issues, just like her:
A week after accidentally spamming a bunch of her MySpace friends, former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubinstein has clambered back into the saddle—in order to tell Forbes readers how to use the internet effectively! Okay, our heads just exploded. Like, it's not that our favorite cat lady's 7 Tips for Joining Atoosa's Troops (Don't Put Your Brand On A Pedestal, Recruit Web Talent) are off-base at all. In fact, they're just as firstgrader-simple as the folk art that accompanies them. But what on earth qualifies Atoosa to dole out this kind of advice, her number of MySpace friends? Her thriving web-based business that, uh, still doesn't exist yet?
One of Atoosa Rubenstein's MySpace friends has received a couple of vaguely menacing messages from the former Seventeen editor! Well, actually, only this one is menacing. The other one is only menacing if you think that free-Starbucks spam is menacing. (So, yes, it's menacing). It's after the jump. Looks like the 'Toos has been hax0r3d! "LOL Change your password!" 21 year old ~*~Ale~*~ suggests. Sage counsel.
Former Seventeen editor and current MySpace queen Atoosa Rubenstein is going to the prom! Okay, not really—but she is going on a television program to discuss the prom. And she wants to include some tips from YOU. Yes: YOU. "Do YOU have any advice for parents about prom? Think about a parent who is terrified that their kid is going to get super drunk, do drugs, have sex or whatever. Is there anything sneaky that parent can do to protect their kid and feel more at ease on prom night?" Trans: "Please sell out your fellow teenagers." Guess what? Atoosa's tribe doesn't immediately get behind her on this one, for some reason!
April's ish of Seventeen is the first produced under new E in C Ann Shoket's regime. Is she working hard to differentiate herself from her predecessoress, the voluptuous, tribe-gathering, sparkling magical rainbow that is Atoosa Rubenstein? Well, our first clue was in her editorial letter, where she mentioned her formerly frizzy hair. Straight from the Toos's duckling-to-swan playbook! But a darker side of Shoket lay on the selfsame page: "I had three Red Bulls to get through this loooong photo shoot!" she claimed. Hmm, do girls with healthy body images chug three Red Bulls? And do they run cover lines like the one at right, or like "Get Your Best Butt?" We asked the Atoosa Rubenstein who lives in our mind what she thought of the changes.
Ann Shoket's first issue as editor of Seventeen hits the stands next week. Will she crawl her way into our hearts like Atoosa Rubenstein did so scarily before her? (Related: Will she blog about cutting and emo?) Her first editor's letter—click to enlarge!— plays it smart; she casts herself as the new girl at school. (Whether she turns out to be a Heather or a Veronica, well, we shall see.) So far, she's getting points for chugging Red Bull and including shirtless pictures of David Beckham on her page. That's the kind of gal we want instructing America's teens! Also, we hear that her first covergirl is post-post-punkey fifth-wave-feminist Avril Lavigne, pegged to the Canadian lass's new album in April. So there, 'Toos!
Our stomachs clenched the moment we read these out-of-place words on former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein's MySpace: "current mood: sad." Huh? It turns out that Atoosa's cat Thurston—who was to star in "Psychic Kitty, a series of psychedelicized videos on her MySpace page"—is suffering from inoperable cancer. We have to be honest with you: we are genuinely bummed. We're sort of crazy cat ladies ourselves, and also, death is sad! Everyone, let's all take a moment to cherish the cats, dads, and over the top media-ish personalities in our lives, okay?
Hey, do you have what it takes to "drive the vision, tone and direction of a new web destination?" Do you want to "learn firsthand what it takes to make user-generated content work?" (Sigh; don't we all!) Well, your big opportunity might lie at the end of the goth Lisa Frank drippy rainbow, if you catch our drift. You know, House of 'Toos! After the jump, the full job posting for this Managing Editor position, from the Ed2010 "Whisper Jobs" listing. Is it just us, or do you smell Alpha Kitty litter?
Seriously, does no one else perceive this as a threat? Maybe it's the skull and the dripping blood.
While we were all marveling at the so-crazy-they-just-might-work internet schemes of Atoosa "Alpha Kitty" "Big Momma" "'Toos" "The 'Toos" Rubenstein on Friday, Jon Fine was scraping the floor for quotes that didn't make the cut the first time around. The result could sort of be considered his 'The Beales of Grey Gardens:'
Today, BusinessWeek's Jon Fine takes a long, hard look at what a certain former Editor in Chief, a young woman named Atoosa Rubenstein, has been up to since leaving Seventeen. We already know, of course, that she's been spending a lot of time on MySpace. So what's her strategy for building the brand that will make her "the new Oprah?" Well, it's hard to say, exactly, but an important component of the plan seems to be . . . spending a lot of time on MySpace.
After we reveled in deposed Seventeen E in C Atoosa Rubenstein's latest MySpace fabulosity-explosion, you expressed a desire to know much, much more about the 'Toos's background. We'll answer all your questions eventually, but first, we need to tackle the issue of how little Atoosa Behnegar became Big Momma Rubenstein. The answer can be found (as so many answers can) in the Times Vows column. This one is from September 6, 1998, and it details the day the 'Toos wed Tevas-wearing commodities trader Ari Rubenstein:
We hadn't heard from Big Momma in a while, so we decided to see what was a poppin' on her MySpace. A new blog?? Wheee! We have to admit, we had been sort of lost without her advice. But first, let's recap as to why she's sharing her wisdom with us here and not in, you know, Seventeen. Yeah, here's that "truth":
The newly installed editor of Seventeen magazine, Ann Shoket, was [at Ben Widdicombe's birthday party], flanked by her publicist. "Ben is the most charming, most dashing .... "
Right, right, now what are you wearing?
"What? Oh no, I don't want to tell you that," she gasped. She wore a tube top and jeans. "Now I'm starting to get into trouble with my publicity department. They're like, 'Don't talk to anybody.'"
Her publicist, Scott Gorenstein, stepped in. "She's wearing an appropriate outfit for a humid evening in the East Village."
The kids at WWD and Jossip are both reporting that CosmoGirl executive editor Ann Shoket has been named editor of Seventeen. Finally, our long national nightm- eh, whatever. Just let us know what the arm hair situation is.
