In the economy, as in life, men are first in, last out, on top, and super successful. (And deserving.) Yes, the recession was a hard time for everyone. But everyone, whether man or woman, will be happy to learn that men are getting themselves back on track, more than women.

While Ice Age: Continental Drift didn't do quite as well as previous installments — I guess 20th Century Fox overestimated the star power of Nicki Minaj — it still topped the box office this weekend, earning $46 million.

After a long and celebrated career on stage and screen, Celeste Holm died today at 95.

"Retroactively" is a word that might haunt Mitt Romney for some time.

In an interview for CBS This Morning, Charlie Rose asked President Obama what the biggest mistake of his presidency has been. It's a tough question for any president to answer — especially when he's campaigning for reelection — but Obama's answer was fairly straightforward.

Sylvester Stallone's son Sage died last night of an apparent overdose on pills. While his death was initially thought to be a suicide, law enforcement now says there is no evidence that it was intentional. He was 36.

As late as last night, negotiations were still ongoing for Jennifer Lopez to remain at American Idol, but following judge Steven Tyler's announcement that he was departing the talent show to refocus on Aerosmith, Lopez this morning made her exit plans public.

Last week, a 14-year-old girl declared victory in her campaign to convince Seventeen magazine to incorporate images of "Real Girls" into its pages. What she gained (besides lots of press coverage) isn't completely clear; Julia Bluhm petitioned Seventeen to cut down on Photoshopped images by printing "one unaltered photo spread" per month, and editor-in-chief Ann Shoket responded by vowing to readers the magazine would "help make your life amazing!" and "give you the confidence to walk into any room and own it."

A Washington DC police officer who has worked the security detail for White House officials allegedly threatened to shoot Michelle Obama. The threat, which was overheard Wednesday morning, is currently under investigation by the DC police's Internal Affairs Division, and the Secret Service has been notified. In the meantime, the officer has been placed on administrative duty.

A British man was arrested last month for assault after he sprayed his girlfriend with an "unidentified" brown sauce when she refused to stop reading Fifty Shades of Grey. He later plead guilty and was sentenced earlier this week.

Two dogs got married today at an "extravaganza" to benefit the Humane Society of New York. Baby Hope Diamond, the bride, walked ( or "was led") down the aisle in "canine couture," where her groom, Chilly Pasternak, a poodle from Richmond, Virginia, was waiting.

In addition to being totally disgusting and filthy, New York City taxis are about to get significantly more expensive. Starting in September, cab rates will rise 17% per mile, and the flat rate between Manhattan and JFK will increase from $45 to $52. The New York City Taxi and Limousine Commission voted on the measure Thursday, with six members in favor, two against, and one member abstaining.

If you don't have time to review the full 267-page internal investigation of the Penn State scandal, here's the gist: Everyone knew. Former Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno knew. Former Penn State University president Graham Spanier knew. Former Penn State University vice president Gary Schultz knew. Penn State Athletic Director (currently on leave) Tim Curley knew. Everyone knew. As far back as 1998, when they learned of a criminal investigation of Sandusky related to an instance of suspected sexual misconduct with a boy in a PSU football locker room shower.

Sort of like the geriatric's version Chris Brown-Drake fight, but with less violence and no Tony Parker, Bob Dylan is beefing with historians at PBS over the whereabouts of the electric guitar he used at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival, where Dylan famously went "electric." Dylan claims he's still in possession of the Fender Stratocaster he used, but Dawn Peterson, the daughter of Victor Quinto, Dylan's pilot from the 1960s, says otherwise.

Actress Kristin Chenoweth was injured Wednesday afternoon on the Williamsburg set of CBS's The Good Wife. According to TMZ, Chenoweth, who was filming a guest spot for the drama, was struck by a piece of lighting equipment that toppled over in a wind gust, causing her to violently strike her head on the ground. The New York Post reports she suffered a seizure soon after. Paramedics stabilized Chenoweth on the scene and took her to Bellvue Hospital, where she is listed in stable condition.

If British scientists have their way, mutant mosquitoes will soon destroy the Florida Keys. Well, not exactly. But it's a possibility, or at least something to to think about, according to the 90,000 residents who have signed a petition. The genetically-modified mosquitoes are designed to resist the spread of Dengue fever, which is apparently a concern these days in the Keys.

In unsurprising news, totally normal and relatable person Mitt Romney was booed by the NAACP today after the Republican presidential nominee promised to eliminate Obamacare (née Romneycare) if elected president. The jeering crowd disrupted Romney for a good fifteen seconds or so before the smirking hair joke weirdo regained control and attempted to smooth things over with a predictably boring story about the Chamber of Commerce.

A whole new generation of theme parties is about to be born, as The Hollywood Reporter announced Wednesday that camp classic Whatever Happened to Baby Jane will soon be remade by director Walter Hill.

"The only loop hole to this is if it is served with fish," reads a statement from the London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games (LOCOG).

The captain of the cruise ship Costa Concordia, which cost 32 passengers their lives when it capsized back in January (allegedly because the captain was literally showboating for a friend on the shore) gave his first full interview about the accident Wednesday. He's way less sorry than you might expect.