[A live turkey stands on a wax Barack Obama's desk at Madame Tussauds in London today ahead of the annual pardoning on Thanksgiving. Image via AP]

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez™ has tightened his totalitarian grip on the country by banning the reproduction of his "name, image or figure" for murals and other propaganda without express permission from the government. The revolution will not be illegally reproduced.

At least 345 people were killed and 320 injured during a stampede on a bridge in Phnom Penh, the Cambodian capital, during the country's annual Water festival. It's still unclear what caused the panic.

[A child wades through an alley clogged with trash in Naples today. There are 10,000 tons of garbage on city streets, and the EU is threatening to intervene if Italy can't solve its chronic trash problem. Image via AP]

Disgraced former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick denies paying a stripper a thousand bucks "to perform at a party at the then-mayor's mansion [which] led to Kilpatrick's wife's attacking a woman who was giving him a lap dance." Small victories. [AP]

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has won over many fans with his bold technique of yelling at people — teachers, lady-harassers, etc. — and uploading clips of these to YouTube. But are his would-be victims catching on to this gimmick?

Quadrangle Group, which was not long ago America's most prominent media-focused private equity firm, is folding (in its current form, at least). The reason for its downfall is the same man largely responsible for its success: Steven Rattner.

The LA County Coroner's office gift shop has seen lackluster sales over the years, so auditors suggested they hire a marketing firm. The office's chief knows they have a cash cow: "There is a mystique about the LA County coroner."

Vladimir Putin held a summit last weekend with a stated goal of doubling the number of wild tigers by 2022. But critics say he just wants to portray himself as a tiger-like, "stand-alone, solitary yet fearsome hunter." He's badass. [NYT]

[Pop star Rihanna performs at the American Music Awards. Photo via AP]

After guaranteeing its banks' debts in October 2008, Ireland announced this weekend that it applied for a multibillion-Euro bailout package from the European Union and the International Monetary Fund. Don't freak out, though! The corporate tax rate won't be raised.

Workers today began drilling a test shaft at the site of last week's mine explosion in New Zealand to check deadly gas levels before rescue operations can get under way. 29 men are missing inside the Park River mine. [Guardian]

[A Yemeni hat vendor, Abu Mohammed waits for business in the capital Sana'a today. Image via AP]

Soon you'll be able to pay $10 (or more) for a bottle of Glace Rare Iceberg Water taken straight from an iceberg in Greenland. What a deal! The producer says "It is so tasteless that it actually creates a taste."

Today in Uruguay delegates from the Framework Convention on Tobacco Control recommended placing a restriction, or possibly a ban, on flavored cigarettes that are super fun to smoke! Tobacco lobbyists are worried about job losses. We all lose.

Brace yourself for some shocking news: The feds are preparing "vast" insider trading charges against a slew of investment bankers, analysts and hedge fund executives. Included are some loose-lipped Goldman Sachs bankers who leaked health-care merger information to benefit investors.

Food crusader Mayor Michael Bloomberg has found a way to save the city around $350,000 a year — by cutting the calorie intake of Rikers Island inmates by 160 a day. And no more chocolate pudding! Or black pepper.

Costume jewelry designer Kenneth Jay Lane has created the "Princess Simulated Sapphire Ring" for QVC and they're on sale today! They're made in China and come with a limited warranty. Feel like royalty for just $39.54 (plus shipping). [NYM]

Democracy is like a pungent onion for weepy Republican Speaker-of-the-House-to-be (ugh) John Boehner. Remember that time he broke down about the health care bill? Nancy Pelosi thinks John Boehner is an immature crybaby.

We learned last week that international Jew George Soros had infiltrated Sarah Palin's inner circle by hiring her adviser Randy Scheunemann. But the old man's tentacles are long: Not even Palin's Alaska running mate is clean of Soros' foul fingerprints.