Democratic Virginia Sen. Jim Webb announced today that he wouldn't seek reelection in 2012, after only one term. That means we, the public, won't get an exciting rematch between him and ex-Sen. George "Macaca" Allen after all.

Failed GOP Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell is back, and she's telling supporters she wants her newly formed political action committee ChristinePAC to "investigate and counter attack leftwing groups."

Michelle Obama claims that President Obama hasn't smoked a cigarette in "almost a year." That's frightening news. If he hasn't been smoking while dealing with this Egyptian crisis, then something's wrong with him.

Experts who support the new health care law haven't been able to sway public opinion much with the drab language of health economics. So now they'll just make a comic book — sorry, graphic novel — about it and see if that does the trick. You love comic books and movies about comic books, don't you, America? Well just wait until the comic book ethos is applied to such sexy topics as risk pooling and the medical-loss ratio, by an MIT economist author!

The Democratic Leadership Council has been a bogeyman to liberals for decades, symbolizing the party's corporate sellout with its philosophy of spreading public welfare through market-based solutions. It was the organization that then-Arkansas Gov. Bill Clinton chaired in the '80s; when he became president, he adhered to its policy goals: welfare reform, balanced budgets, free trade. The DLC would go on to support the invasion of Iraq in 2003, for some reason.

The state of Alabama—and, indeed, the southern region of America as a whole—is reeling in shock and disbelief this week after reports that a white frat boy at the University of Alabama yelled "nigger" at a black student walking by his frat house. A white frat boy, in Alabama, uttering a racial slur? Now we've heard it all.

Tens of thousands of protesters again converged on Cairo's Tahrir Square, even as vice president and torture chief Omar Suleiman said that the ruling party was "on the right path to getting out of the current crisis." This is the 15th day of demonstrations against the autocratic rule of Hosni Mubarak.

Republicans have a problem heading into the 2012 presidential election: They don't like any of their potential candidates. Huckabee, Romney, Palin, Gingrich, Thune, Pawlenty, Barbour and whoever else comes to mind are all losers. It's hard enough to knock off a sitting president, especially one whose poll numbers are on the rise and is, regardless of your opinion of what his "centrist" motives may portend, doing a fine job thus far of establishing himself as Washington's last reasonable man. It's even harder when all of your potential candidates are, again, losers.

Bristol Palin has had a long and at times difficult career in show business. It's about time she settled down and wrote her glorious memoirs. And that's exactly what she's doing, from that house she bought in Arizona.

A Sarah Palin appearance can do wonders for a non-profit's convention. Assuming it doesn't get the entire event canceled in the first place, because so many people hate Sarah Palin.

Former greatest president ever Ronald Reagan turned 100 yesterday, you may have heard. A bunch of old white people fêted him out at his ranch in California, shortly before the Super Bowl. But the best memorial to the Ol' Gipper wasn't delivered in Simi Valley. It was in the pages of Politico, and penned by weird Scottsdale porn scribe Rep. Ben Quayle:

On Saturday, 49-year-old Belgian runner Stefaan Engels completed his 365th marathon. In a row. That's 9,569 miles in seven different countries, averaging about four hours a marathon. Dude: There are easier ways to get book deals.

Radical Christian and foreign policy heavyweight Sarah Palin™ chimed in on Obama's handling of events in Egypt in a new interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network. She also says her journalism degree can help the lamestream media report the truth.

[A man shows off his kung-fu skills at the Ditan temple during a Chinese New Year celebration. Image via AP]

Las Vegas police on Wednesday arrested 29-year-old Anthony Carleo for allegedly robbing the Bellagio Casino for $1.5 million in chips, while brandishing a pistol and wearing a motorcycle helmet. Carleo was busted after bragging about the robbery on the internet.

Re-energized protesters kept up the pressure on Hosni Mubarak in the 11th day of massive demonstrations across Egypt today. The violence of the past two days seems to have abated, and prominent government figures have taken to the streets.

Crapola purveyor Wal-Mart is locked in a contentious battle over its efforts to infiltrate NYC. But the company's representatives couldn't be bothered to attend a City Council hearing about Wal-Mart yesterday. Probably because Wal-Mart's already supported by literally everyone.

[Protesters pray in Cairo's Tahrir Square today as the "Day of Departure" for Hosni Mubarak gets underway. Be safe out there, Anderson Cooper. Image via AP]

[Boats and yachts are piled together at Port Hinchinbrook, Australia, after Cyclone Yasi brought heavy rain and howling winds gusting to 186 mph. Image via AP]

Don't be mad if President Obama doesn't respond right away to your email about how the C.I.A. weather rays will affect the tiny civilization in your neighbor's backyard—White House email accounts were down for several hours today.