[During a Chinese New Year celebration in New York's Chinatown, a dragon dances at the entrance to a store to bring it luck in the Year of the Rabbit. Image via AP]

The Way We Live Now: better than we used to. Despite everything, our living standards are rising! Can you believe it? Even with no jobs or pensions, we're seeing improvement. We pay for it all on credit!

Over the past day and a half, Egypt has transformed from a thrilling dream story for journalists into a place where being a journalist is seriously hazardous. First the physical attacks; now, the arrests. A quick rundown, below.

House Republicans have given up on their quest to determine which types of rape-induced pregnancies should be eligible for federal abortion funding. "Forcible rape" has reverted back to "rape" in their impending abortion bill, which is still obviously very radical.

An Italian researcher claims Leonardo DaVinci used his apprentice and gay lover Gian Giacomo Caprotti as the model for the Mona Lisa, the most famous painting in the world. We did always think her hands were kind of large.

[Pro-Mubarak forces (reportedly hired by Egypt's president to cause chaos) clash with anti-government protesters in Cairo's Tahrir Square. At least three died and 639 were injured during Wednesday's surprisingly violent protests. Photo via AP]

Rikers Island inmate Shaheed Bilal has been charged with forging fake credit cards to buy $1 million worth of iPads and Mac laptops and then selling them nationwide at a discount. Talk about an inside Jobs. Get it? Jobs!

Ngozi Pole, ex-Sen. Ted Kennedy's office manager for four years, was convicted yesterday of stealing more than $75,000 from the staff budget through secret "bonuses" he gave himself. Good. Now that that's cleared up, Washington is 100% theft-free again.

John McCain, who loves switching personalities, is trying to reclaim his bipartisan Maverick hero image in the media again, now that he's secured another Senate term. And he'll get it. He always does! It's just too easy for him.

In your undesirable Wednesday media column: NPR needs another Ellen Weiss, blogs are dead or possibly thriving, the Newsweek-Daily Beast merger is going about as well as expected, and Fox News establishes its priorities.

America's news anchors, most notably Anderson Cooper, are getting beaten up left and right by pro-Mubarak troublemakers today. Here's "America's Girl," Katie Couric, narrowly escaping as the mob circles her. Don't threaten our national lady-mascot, Egypt. Just don't.

Whenever there's a major snowstorm nowadays, dingbats nationwide spew some variation of, "Some global warming this is, Al Gore." And what happens when Gore actually responds with simple explanations? They revert to "Al Gore invented the internet" jokes. Exciting times!

Fox News science columnist Gene Koprowski has a long history of standing up against this "global warming" foolishness. Today, he's seeking sources to to explain the "ridiculousness" of the idea of global warming causing snow. Can you imagine?

[A month-old Abyssinian Colobus cries in Japan's Nogeyama Zoological Gardens. Image via AP]

[A Kansas City Scout sign warns motorists along I-70 near Kansas City, Mo. on Tuesday. I-70 was closed from Kansas City to St. Louis because of heavy snow. Image via AP]

Ali Abdullah Saleh, the longtime President of Yemen, has said he won't try to extend his term or put his son in power, according to Reuters. A large "Day of Rage" protest aimed at Saleh's government is planned for Wednesday.

According to a new Wikileaks document released to The Telegraph, the FBI is still looking for at least four men it believes were connected with the 9/11 attacks—and who may have even been intended participants.

[German Thomas Dold won the men's division of the Empire State Building Run-Up today by scaling 86 flights of stairs in just over 10 minutes. Sorry, but King Kong did it faster. Image via AP]

AOL boss Tim Armstrong wants a lot from his bloggers. He wants pageviews per story to more than quadruple. He wants total editorial output to rise 27 percent. And he wants this all by April. Uh, sure!

The Republican-controlled House is considering limitations on federal funding for abortion that could be a crown jewel of the leadership's attempt to show constituents there's a new, socially conservative sheriff in town — if anyone was willing to discuss it.