Oh good: due to the general sense of panic afflicting the financial world, European regulators are considering a temporary ban on short selling. This is stupid.

William Boyland Jr., a Democratic New York state assemblyman from Brooklyn, was driving his Yukon down Sutter Ave. in Brownsville last night with his seven year-old son. Then—hello!—somebody started shooting, and a bullet blasted out his back window.

The now 20-year-old Barefoot Bandit, Colton Harris-Moore — famous for stealing rich people toys like airplanes and boats while shoeless — has reportedly signed a $1.3 million movie deal that includes the young criminal's life rights as part of a plea deal agreed to by federal prosecutors. All of the money will go toward repaying his victims. In a statement obtained by The Herald, the Bandit said:

Goo analysis! Fetal sex! Science mistakes! Alien search! Lamprey death! NASA crafts! Undersea volcanoes! Solar flare! And the brutal ennui of the Mars Rover! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—down to its gooey center!

Steel yourself for what will surely become the most sedentary spin-off Law & Order yet: The NYPD has announced the formation of a new division, the Social Media Unit, which will solve crimes by Facebook stalking people. Assistant Commissioner Kevin O'Connor (no relation) will head up the unit.

There is much glee on the ethereal plane high above the Bethesda clouds from which New York Times columnist Tom Friedman writes his column today. We're treated to his latest venture into despondent centrist wet-dream fanfic, in which the Mustache of Understanding imagines a world where political parties don't have bases, but still manage to dig deep, treat each other politely, and deal with false problems in bad ways through their own sheer purity of will.

Following his former partner's one-year sentence for police misconduct, fellow acquitted former NYPD officer Franklin Mata—who just sat in another room as his partner "comforted" a drunk woman—has been sentenced to 60 days in jail. [NYP]

IRA terrorist Rep. Pete King already has a lot on his plate, namely the numerous "Muslim radicalization" hearings that he's always convening. Thankfully he's found enough spare time to do the nation's other important work, like harassing the White House about an upcoming Osama bin Laden death movie.

How is polygamist leader and convicted rapist Warren Jeffs dealing the knowledge that he will spend the rest of his life in jail, never again to feel the sweet caress of his harem of child brides? With constant exhibitionist masturbation, according to an intrepid report from The Daily:

News Corp has a much-anticipated quarterly earnings call today, following yesterday's board meeting. The one (and only) real agenda item is to figure out how to move past the devastating UK phone hacking scandal—which means making sure it doesn't spread to America. Fortunately, News Corp has something going for it: best friends!

On the fourth night of England's riots, 10,000 police flooded London streets and the city remained mostly calm. But the riots spread to other cities, leaving three men dead in Birmingham. British Prime Minister David Cameron promised a "fightback" to squelch unrest.

Iranian government officials are loving the riots in Britain. In a flurry of statements over the last couple of days, lawmakers have attacked the police response and said they'd like to send human rights observers to London to keep an eye on events there. Iran's Majlis are even thinking about closing the British embassy in Tehran.

Last week, Libyan rebels claimed that Muammar Qaddafi's son Khamis was killed in a NATO airstrike. But today, Libyan state TV aired footage of someone it claims is Khamis — commander of the Khamis Brigade — visiting a hospital.

A 43-year-old dentist from the Chicago area, William Anthony Howe is recovering in the hospital after he crashed head-on into another car on the interstate last Saturday. Howe was going the wrong way and the two people in the car he crashed into are dead. And it gets worse: A witnesses told the Chicago Tribune that Howe "was rifling around his passenger seat and picked up a handful of cash and threw it out the window." Several cars pulled over to grab the money. Shockingly, Howe was driving a red Porsche. So, why would some dickhead in a Porsche make it rain while driving the wrong way on the interstate? This could have something to do with it:

Here's some Nancy Grace-nip you'll be hearing a lot more about in the coming weeks: Robyn Gardner is a 35-year-old Maryland woman who took off recently on a vacation to Aruba with a man she barely knew: Gary Giordano, 50, also from Maryland, whom she had met online. Gardner has been missing since last Tuesday, and Giordano — who it turns out has a criminal record and a history of domestic violence—is now in custody.

Hackers have reportedly broken into Norway shooter Anders Behring Breivik's email account and turned the contents over to police in an effort to help their investigation. See, hackers aren't all amoral cybermonsters.

As looting and rioting continues across London for a fourth evening, residents are steeling themselves for another night of mayhem. Here's what parts of the city looked like before nightfall, as officers battled rioters, fires continued to burn, and optimistic store owners began the cleanup process.

In your Molotov-y Tuesday media column: London is unsafe for journalists, Alec Baldwin likes newspapers, Time magazine is beating the piss out of Newsweek, News of the World staffers get severance offers, KING magazine remembered, and scientists vs. journalists.

The folks at Team Obama, like many, see Mitt Romney as the likely Republican nominee for president, and they're already plotting how to "destroy" him, limb by limb. How will they do it? Essentially, Obama will point at Mitt Romney, look to the audience, and whisper, "Just look at this fuckin' weird loser over here, amirite?"

As night approaches in England, the riots raging in London spread to other UK cities, police flood the streets, residents clean up, and a man dies from riot-related violence. Welcome to day four of the London riots.