Whereas the opening day of the Mubaraks' trial on August 3rd was all about Hosni picking his nose and the general sense of shock felt by Egyptians who watched their longtime leader sit in a cage, today was all about appearances. Again, Hosni's conveniently devout sons Alaa and Gamal clutched Qurans. But this time around, Hosni traded in his prison pajamas for what looked to be a zip up track suit. He also looked like he's visited a taxidermist.

Who's the last person you should take financial advice from during an economic crisis? CNBC's schlocky in-house huckster Jim Cramer, of course. So, naturally, people are tuning into the network in huge numbers these days. God help us.

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of the more amusing shots from the past week.

Hilary Duff and her hockey husband, Mike Comrie, are gonna have some kind of baby in nine months (or less)! Earlier today she announced the news on her website—which you've all gone and momentarily busted, it seems, by trying to check out the new wedding pictures there.

Time for some hot gossip from the 1940s, everybody! Twentieth-century fashion designer and 21st-century movie subject Coco Chanel was an anti-Semite who "dabbled in Nazi foreign policy" and also dabbled in sexual relations with Nazis, says a new book about her.

Althea Ricketts says that where she comes from, hitting kids with computer cables is a "common" way to discipline them. This is ostensibly why she allegedly she beat her son with a computer cable for having a Facebook page.

Well holy prize-winning cow: Minnesota Congresswoman and downgrade instigator Michele Bachmann did it, she won the GOP straw poll in Iowa. Time to fry up your butter stix and celebrate/beckon death's call!

It's not just the London police and Middle East dictators who try to curb unrest by clamping down on communications networks. According to reports, police in San Francisco are jamming cell phones to head off protesters.

Forget her husband's ex-gay therapy clinics, her cutesy gaffes about John Wayne Gacy, and all the other nutty little stories about Michele Bachmann. You only need one reason to determine that Michele Bachmann's campaign is a sick joke: The way she brags about how she would never raise the debt ceiling, and her claim that S&P only downgraded U.S. debt because the debt ceiling was eventually raised.

In your wistful Friday media column: the NYT's caller ID change is very important, Jared Paul Stern has a book to tell you about, Chris Hayes' bizarre MSNBC show concept, the NYT paywall approved of, and Borders' death screws magazines.

The SEC has charged a 26 year-old named Toby Scammell (HEH) with insider trading, after he made nearly $200K on stock deals after learning from his Disney-employed girlfriend that Disney was going to buy Marvel. How many objectionable things do we know about Toby?

Nationwide civil unrest hasn't come full circle until racist fringe groups come out to point fingers and promote xenophobic vigilantism. And that's where the English Defence League comes in! The group was all set to march on the streets of Telford this weekend in order "to address the threat posed by Muslim child-grooming gangs." Oh, but the British Home Secretary Theresa May today said, "It is clear that a ban is needed to ensure communities and property are protected."

Scotland Yard says that out of over 1,700 arrests made over the nationwide riots, around 600 people have been formally charged with crimes such as looting and disorder. Courts have stayed open overnight to handle the cases.

The US Postal Service is now faced with a tough decision: raise the price of a single stamp to $179, or fire 120,000 employees. Scenario B would require congressional approval, so as to get around postal union labor laws — but desperate times, etc. etc.

All of the candidates, except soon-to-be candidate Rick Perry, are in Ames, Iowa for tonight's Republican debate! Oh wait, neither are Gary Johnson or Thaddeus McCotter or the other loser, Buddy something, or the gay guy. But the others, they're there! So grab your Iowa State Fair fried butter stick and turn on America's channel, Fox News. The future starts below.

Your Gawker Political Desk will be offering live blow-by-blow coverage of tonight's Fox News Republican presidential debate in Iowa, starting at 9pm ET. Join us for what is sure to be a civil, adult discussion about America's future.

Perhaps you've heard of former Luzerne County, Pennsylvania Judge Mark Ciavarella Jr., an objectively evil person who took bribes to send kids to private prisons. The good news is that he's now going to jail! Sadly, he'll only be there for 28 years.

A spokesperson tells the AP that Texas Gov. Rick Perry won't merely hint about a presidential run on Saturday, as previously reported, but he'll announce that he's running. So that means it's ~98% official, approximately, maybe.

In your sunny Thursday media column: News Corp stock bounces back, buyouts at the Baltimore Sun, the WaPo forswears a paywall, CNN wants to hire internet tipsters, and Jake Tapper has advice.

The Republican candidates have all gathered in Ames, Iowa tonight for a terrifying Fox News debate. Did they really need to do this on a night with so many wonderful NFL preseason games? Lord, do they ever hate America. Anyway, what will they babble about, and who will win, and what else? Let's explore!