The Republican party's sudden hatred of the Federal Reserve and easier monetary policy, as encapsulated by Rick Perry's suggestion that Fed chairman Ben Bernanke might be committing "treason" by "printing money," is considered a vindication of Rep. Ron Paul's growing ideological clout among the party's rank-and-file. Ron Paul's goal for several decades has been to eliminate the Federal Reserve, after all! And yet even he thinks that Perry's comments were kind of insane.

It's Thursday, meaning that the United States financial markets are collapsing again. The Dow is down nearly 400 points already today. Why so negative, everyone with money?

A former reporter and U.S. editor for News of the World, James Desborough, was arrested today in London over the phone-hacking scandal. Desborough was once praised for his "uncompromising scoops." Okay, great. But Piers Morgan is still on television.

It's now time for a story that restores your faith in mankind, even if it means going all the way to Japan to find it: In the five months since that country's devastating quake and tsunami, almost $78 million in cash has been found amongst the wreckage and turned in.

The "Herman Cain Train" has derailed from its tracks, blown up, and brutally killed all the people inside. Meaning: Herman Cain is not likely to win the Republican presidential nomination! But since he's still running anyway, what should he talk about? How about impeaching Barack Obama, the red-meat throwers' ultimate expression of hitting rock bottom.

Unpopular 1990s politician Newt Gingrich likes to hit all the big early presidential primary stops: Istanbul, the Greek Islands, California, California again, and Hawaii. Yes, Newt Gingrich appears to be going on a working vacation again, to "fundraise" during the week of his wedding anniversary.

Scotland Yard today said that 1,005 allegedly riotous individuals have been charged with various crimes connected to last week's little kerfuffle in Britain, and added that the investigation is "far from over."

Menopause things! Cancer secrets! Exercise longevity! Teen sleepers! Prostate genes! Virus superdrug! Healthy obesity! Addiction breakthrough! And Alzheimer's patients demand pancakes! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—in an ultimately futile manner!

Finally, the Republican got a mighty presidential candidate to bring them to the promised land in Rick Perry, governor of Texas. Will party voices now stop clamoring for new "white knights" to jump into the race and save them from the totalitarian reign of mild-mannered technocratic centrist Barack Obama? Of course not.

A job for you, perpetually outraged internet hordes! In the New York Times today, Joe Sharkey writes a purely anecdotal story suggesting that the TSA may be racially profiling protecting Americans by patting down black women's hair. Is it true?

President Obama is not traveling around the Midwest in any old jalopy with "JOBS" or "AMERICA" splashed on the side. He's riding in a new pitch-black armored $1 million Secret Service bus. Why is he trying to scare all the people away?

Clive Goodman (pictured) covered the royal family for UK tabloid News of the World until 2007, when he was convicted of phone hacking and sent to prison. Now, a newly released letter from Goodman says that—surprise—everyone at the paper knew about phone hacking, which was routine.

Hypothetical scenario: At your current job, you were once in charge of clandestinely selling 2,000 firearms to Mexican drug cartels in the hopes of bringing down a big time leader, but instead those guns were later connected to multiple homicides (including a U.S. Border Patrol agent). Now, after investigations and apologies and so on, would you expect to get shit-canned and possibly charged with crimes, or would you expect to be promoted to a managerial position? If you work for the ATF, you'd get the latter!

Muammar Qaddafi for the first time used Saddam Hussein's signature weapon, the amazingly inaccurate Scud missile, and missed the probable target of Brega by about 50 miles early on Sunday. Now he's setting giant Acme bear traps around Tripoli.

Elaborate political satire "Rick Perry" (played by Josh Brolin) hasn't executed an innocent man in at least a few months. But he's got his eye on someone: Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke!

San Francisco subway system BART thought that cutting off cell phone signals last week would help it avoid trouble with protesters. Instead, it re-inflamed demonstrations and brought in the feds to boot.

News Corp has allowed that the ongoing UK and US investigations into the News Of The World phone hacking scandal might just hurt its reputation and business interests.

Among the myriad things an American diplomat in a nation with a long history of colonialism and racial tension should avoid, characterizing the the locals' skin as "dirty," "dark," and like an unwashed caucasian is among the least advisable. And yet a consulate official in India made the ol' "you look dirty" joke during a visit to a Chennai school last week:

What plan(s) will the White House unveil for dealing with the "sagging" economic situation when everyone returns to Washington in September? Something small- or medium-sized that won't be so easy for Republicans in Congress to discard, we're led to believe. And somehow, this extremely narrow window of possibility does not eliminate the option of creating a new, reshuffled governmental department called either the "Department of Jobs" or "Department of Competitiveness." Oh, Jesus.

Lawyers for America's most hated former mother Casey Anthony are fighting her court-ordered probation in Florida. She either wants the probation eliminated due to "time served," or the location moved somewhere else. There have been multiple motions, one judge had to recuse himself, and another judge has called the whole situation "a mess." This lady's life is neverending disaster.