More than four years after introducing photo tagging, Facebook will finally offer the ability to block embarrassing tags from your profile. Which is a good thing, because now anyone can tag you.

Just hours after a 5.9 magnitude quake hit Washington D.C., San Francisco weather traffic guy Sal Castaneda tweeted, "Hey east coasters: welcome to our world and what we live with everyday in California. Stay Safe." Hey, Californians: Shut up and let us wallow in our abject terror.

Finally, someone figured out why God sent an earthquake to the East Coast: To punish Barack Obama for vacationing. As it happens, the leader of the free world was golfing in Martha's Vineyard when the tremors struck:

You probably remember being in school and looking across the cafeteria at all the mysterious, differently-hued people huddled at their own table on the other side of the room and asking yourself, "Why are all those weird [black/ white/ Asian/ Latino/ Unidentifiable] kids sitting together? No wonder we are so racist." Then you continued telling racist jokes to your own racially homogenous table.

There have been several chapters in the still-extremely-early 2012 presidential race. There was the time that Newt Gingrich's smarts and policy chops was going to shake up the contest. That ended. There was the time Herman Cain's business acumen and tea party ties were going to be a real factor in the race. That didn't work out. Then, of course, there was Donald Trump. Remember him?

In your shaky Tuesday media column: Carlos Slim loves the NYT again, ASNE downsizes, Al Sharpton's on TV to stay, the Fairness Doctrine is dead, and obligatory earthquake mention!

Holy potatoes that was some kinda Washington Earthquake of 2011 that we just had! Everyone has fallen into the Potomac River. But not before everyone got to make a bad joke on Twitter relating to current national politics! Because it's in DC, know? You can tell it's a "bad" political earthquake joke if it's a political earthquake joke in general. Here's a poorly culled selection.

Have you, too, heard Jon Stewart and every other hand-wringer complaining about how the media "ignores" Ron Paul, the politician who's been covered extensively for four or five years despite being a cranky old man representing a narrow ideological strand of libertarian thought?

It's official: A judge has, as expected, dismissed all charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn. The ruling won't take effect immediately, however, as the accuser's lawyer has appealed an earlier ruling that denied putting a special prosecutor on the case.

Phillip Seaton, the unlucky ducky whose bratwurst went bye-bye after his chopper doctor turned pecker wrecker, is finally having his day in court. Tell us, "Dr." John Patterson (pictured grinning with his high-priced attorney; do you find something funny, sir?), how did a simple circumcision become a member dismembering, leaving Phillip Seaton to wake up wangless without even a chance to bid tally-ho to his tallywhacker?

Accused rapist/flasher Dominique Strauss-Kahn, "the great seducer" who was once in charge of extorting developing countries for the International Monetary Fund, could be free to return to France as soon as today if, as expected, sexual assault charges against him are formally dismissed by a judge in New York.

Gawker's favorite kiddie porn-lite peddler Joe Francis turned himself into the LAPD last night over a misdemeanor warrant. A Los Angeles Times source says it's for "misdemeanor false imprisonment," which, if you think about it, is totally unsurprising!

The legal filing on Monday to dismiss charges of sexual assault against Dominique Strauss-Kahn contained within it one crusty footnote, illuminated by the blacklight-wielding investigators of The Smoking Gun: The $3,000-a-night Sofitel suite where the former IMF head stayed last May, and where his accuser said the alleged crime had occurred, contained within it remnants of ejaculate from anywhere from four to seven other men.

Former New Jersey Assemblyman Pat Delany abruptly quit his job last month, citing "personal issues with my family that require my full and immediate attention." Only now are we learning that that personal issue was his wife sending a "racially tinged" email to Olympic hero and current New Jersey state Senate candidate Carl Lewis. It could've been something worse, we guess? Maybe not.

After weeks of renewed consideration, Rep. Paul Ryan has decided not to run for president. He had plenty of establishment support lined up, but alas, he must "love his family" or something weird.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former International Monetary Fund chief and living Pepé Le Pew instantiation who was arrested last May for raping a hotel maid, will see the charges against him formally dropped tomorrow, according to his accuser's lawyer.

Many completely correct adjectives come to mind when you think of presidential frontrunner Willard "Mittens" Romney: Slick, gross, rich, cheesy, evil, hilarious, weird, and, especially, white. But no one ever talks about how old he is. Did you know he's kind of old?

If you were a former three-term governor of New York and had dealt with all of Albany's crap for 12 years, wouldn't you hate politics and life so much that you'd want to go fishing or golfing or part-time corporate lobbying all the time, alone, while anxiously awaiting your death that just can't come soon enough? Yeah, you would! But if you're George Pataki, you apparently want to run for president. Hmm.

Scotland Yard said a 70-year-old man was the oldest person arrested during riots there. He was busted "in connection with theft from a shop in West Ealing. He was cautioned." Being London's Oldest Looter is quite an honor. [Independent]

Libyan Colonel Muammar Qaddafi is enjoying his last tango in Tripoli (or Venezuela, or Zimbabwe) while rebels search for him and fight pockets of regime loyalists in the city. Since he finally seems to be on the ropes, here's a quick look back at the Brother Leader. [Image via AP]