Last week, George Mason University announced that its law school would be renamed, at the request of an anonymous donor who gave $20 million to the program, after the late Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia: the Antonin Scalia School of Law at George Mason University—ASS Law. (Or ASSoL.)

George Mason this week scheduled a future campus PC incident by announcing plans to rename itself after a Supreme Court justice who, frankly, would never have hired one of its graduates.

Today, Justice Antonin Scalia’s recent death had its most profound impact on America yet.

While on the Supreme Court, Justice Antonin Scalia, who died this month at 79, worked to make society less just for black Americans, railing against affirmative action and seeking to undermine the Voting Rights Act. His admirers would attribute this not to rank bigotry, but to his textualist legal philosophy. According to some of the dead justice’s former law students, though, a younger Scalia also went out of his way to undermine young legal scholars, simply because they were black.

Dow Chemicals this week settled a billion-dollar lawsuit after determining, essentially, that it had no chance in front of a Supreme Court without Antonin Scalia.

When Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia died, he was on a free hunting trip sponsored by a friend who had had business before the Court the year before. Turns out Scalia took hundreds of “free” trips—more than any other Supreme Court justice on the bench.

According to the Washington Post, the late Justice Antonin Scalia spent his final day on this earth surrounded by members of a secretive, centuries-old, all-male society of wealthy sportsmen called the International Order of St. Hubertus.

Bane of his family’s existence Ted Cruz isn’t very popular among his colleagues, either—this much we knew. Ted, however, still seems to be struggling with the concept. Because while attending Antonin Scalia’s funeral this past weekend, he kept insisting on sitting next to other humans. And absolutely no one wanted to sit next to Ted.

With headlines dominated by accounts of primaries and caucuses and badly subtitled shouting matches on national television, it is easy to forget that one Barack H. Obama (remember him?) is still President of the United States, and he has a full 330 days remaining in his term.

Senate Republicans have declared, in no uncertain terms, that not only will they refuse to confirm any nominee of President Obama’s choosing to replace the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, they will refuse to meet with an Obama nominee at all.

Antonin Scalia—who may or may not have been murdered by any combination of Barack Obama, pillows, Dick Cheney, and a chupacabra—was actually just murdered by his own obesity and the accompanying complications, according to an incredibly rude doctor’s note acquired by the Associated Press.

It’s been a difficult week for the students of Georgetown Law.

While conspiracy theorists continue to suss out the real cause of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death, both sides of the Senate are preparing themselves for a long, insane fight over his replacement. Does Obama stand a chance of getting a nominee confirmed in the next 11 months? Here’s how the battle’s looking so far.

Justice Antonin Scalia was taking a free vacation at the exclusive Cibolo Creek Ranch in West Texas when he was found dead inside a guest room Saturday. The trip, the Washington Post reports, was a gift from the ranch’s owner, who just last year obtained a favorable result from the Supreme Court.

The Texas judge who opted not to request an autopsy on Antonin Scalia says his doctor assured her the Supreme Court justice had been in poor health.

Former viral sensation and aspiring heavy metal sensation Balloon Boy (a.k.a. Falcon Heene) has officially announced his willingness to accept the position of Justice of the Supreme Court in an email to Gawker.

On the morning of February 13, the owner of Cibolo Creek Ranch, in the west Texas town of Shafter, discovered the cold body of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia in one of the ranch’s hotel rooms. The owner, John Poindexter, later told the San Antonio Express-News, “We discovered the judge in bed, a pillow over his head. His bed clothes were unwrinkled. He was lying very restfully. It looked like he had not quite awakened from a nap.”

Even if President Obama cannot get a new Supreme Court justice confirmed before he leaves office, Antonin Scalia may have singlehandedly saved America’s public sector unions by dying when he did.

Bad news travels fast, but apparently not fast enough for the The Austin American-Statesman.

The late Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia died this week of a heart attack, according to his death certificate.