Doctor Suggests Scalia Was Killed by Incredibly Unhealthy Lifestyle, Not Suspicious Pillow
Antonin Scalia—who may or may not have been murdered by any combination of Barack Obama, pillows, Dick Cheney, and a chupacabra—was actually just murdered by his own obesity and the accompanying complications, according to an incredibly rude doctor’s note acquired by the Associated Press.
The letter, which came from the Supreme Court’s own attending physician, noted that Scalia had long suffered from “coronary artery disease, obesity and diabetes, among other ailments that probably contributed to the justice’s sudden death” in an effort to argue that there was nothing suspicious about Scalia’s demise.
This certainly gives us a lot to think about, namely that, though the 79-year-old Justice was clearly in poor health, it seems in poor taste to insult the man when he’s already very much down.
