Will Jessica Simpson survive her dog's death? Did Anna Wintour survive sitting next to Pixie Geldof? Did Lindsay know her burglar? Did Anna Nicole's doctors know pills would kill her? Get some answers in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup!

The American drug dream is dead. In the wake of Michael Jackson and Anna Nicole's respective deaths, California's Attorney General has signed off on a database that will track prescription drugs in the Golden State. What a downer. [Mercury-News]

Daniel K. Stern (remember him?) sued Rita Cosby (remember her?) for libel back in 2007 over her book about Anna Nicole Smith, and a federal district judge ruled yesterday that much of the suit can go forward.

Judge Denny Chin sure has an interesting caseload. Last week, the federal judge appointed to the bench by Bill Clinton was in the papers after sentencing Bernie Madoff to 150 years in prison. So what great legal matters is he tending to this week? He's hearing opening arguments in a $60 million libel lawsuit filed by Howard K. Stern against former talk show host Rita Cosby, who alleged in her 2007 bestselling book that Stern and Anna Nicole Smith's former boyfriend, Larry Birkhead, "engaged in gay sex" while Anna Nicole stood by and allegedly videotaped it. [NYP]

• Madonna won't be leaving Malawi with a baby after all: A judge listed a residency requirement as the reason why he rejected her adoption petition, although there's still a possibility Madonna will appeal the ruling. [People, E!]
• These are tough times for Kelly Killoren Bensimon. The "Real Housewife," who was arrested a couple of weeks ago for allegedly beating up her boyfriend, now just lost her Saks modeling gig. [P6]
• Andre Balazs appears to have a new special someone in his life. He was spotted making out with beer heiress Daphne Guinness the other night. [P6]

She died two years ago, but we're still addicted to Anna Nicole Smith. Now there's a new excuse to talk about the trashy Marilyn Monroe of our age:

We trust our generous gifts of various awful things have succeeded in coaxing the last holdouts among you out from your Grinch lairs, and towards the CRT glow of the Defamer hearth.

Having had to evacuate Anna Nicole Smith's Coldwater Canyon residence after a freak cotton-candy-machine accident swept the home up in a cyclone of flossy, pink destruction, beleaguered babydaddy Larry Birkhead is left to pick up the pieces. For starters, that means taking work where he can find it—and in this dire economic environment, there just aren't many openings for 1-year-old-baby party planners. So Birkhead has relented and agreed to take the questionable step of laying bare his life, and the life of daughter Dannielynn, for the E! reality cameras.He justifies his rationale in the ET interview above, though we don't really see why he feels the need to. It's the next logical step for young Dannielynn, who made her TV debut at age 0 being pried out of her mother via C-section, and who now closes the Circle of Reality Show life on the very same network that pushed her mother's career to the next level. We mean—what's the worst that could happen, right? [ET Online]

No, Bobby Trendy didn't swallow a hand grenade and detonate all over the walls of Anna Nicole Smith-legacy-upholder Larry Birkhead's living room. The stay-at-Anna's-home dad is packing up a Liberace museum's worth of gaudy pink mementos from Smith's Coldwater Canyon residence and moving elsewhere. He tells Life & Style why in a Life & Style is Covering Larry's Moving Expenses Exclusive!

Sad news that catty style assessor Mr. Blackwell passed away this weekend. Though, maybe not so sad for the decades' worth of celebrities that he slammed as his Worst Dressed picks of the year. If you're curious about who Mr. B selected as his top (bottom?) choice each year since 1960, you can find a list here. We've also compiled a photo gallery of the most recent 20, after the jump.

Hard as it is to believe, Dannielynn Hope Birkhead Smith Stern Glaxo Wellcome is now a two-year-old—well past her blob stage, and developing into quite the pretty young lady. It's Us Weekly who have this time met the birthday-party-exclusive asking price, which included some highly quotable soul-searching from doting wrangler Larry Birkhead:

Pity Anna Nicole Smith's one-year-old daughter Dannielynn, who will grow up never having known her exhaustively documented mother. A tragedy to be sure, but one that fame-hungry babydaddy Larry Birkhead is determined to resolve in the most unorthodox fashion possible. If only there were some way (besides granting paid exclusives to The Insider) he could show Dannielynn just how much her mother meant to him...

Larry Birkhead, ex-boyfriend of the late Anna Nicole Smith and father of their daughter Dannielynn, is ensuring that the girl grows up with a link to her mother-in the form of sexy underwear. "[Birkhead] spent nearly $3,000 at a celebrity auction Saturday scooping up lingerie once worn in a Playboy shoot by the late playmate. Birkhead said he is trying to make sure his 1-year-old daughter, Dannielynn, has something to remember her mother by. 'I have a lot of history I have to put together that she doesn't really know about,' Birkhead told The Associated Press. 'Playboy was such a big part of Anna's career.'"

Time to mark your calendars: Lynne Spears, mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn, has an official September release date for her memoir about raising two of the world’s most tabloid-friendly children, Through The Storm: A Real Story About Family And Fame In A Tabloid World. In the book, Spears will supposedly take the Dina Lohan route and disguise motherly resentment as motherly love and “express her love for her children and tell their stories through a mother's eyes,” according to the publisher, who specializes in “inspirational books and Bibles.” But how rosy and cozy can the tome’s description of family life be with a title referring to said life as a “storm”? And given the nature of celebrity family members' tell-alls in the past, coupled with the assurance that this will not be “a parenting book,” we certainly hope Lynne follows in the footsteps of Nancy Aniston and Virgie Arthur by revealing a bit more dirt than the rote "Britney And Jamie Lynn Were Perfect Angels" tales (given the fact that they’re, um, not these days). We took a closer look at five of the most trash-talking tell-alls from stars’ estranged and/or envious relatives to whet our appetite in the meantime:

Haven't you heard? Stripping is back en vogue again (again)! Partly thanks to Ms. Busey-Hunt herself, the IdolStripperGate nonsense, and all those former strippers blogging away in support of the feminist cause that is taking your clothes off for money, our slideshow-happy friends at Us Magazine have dredged up the secret pasts of some other former private dancers. And though some may not surprise you (Courtney Love? NO! WAY!), there are also some Hollywood A-listers on their list. Find out after the jump which three Oscar nominees have, at one time or another, had to pull crumpled George Washingtons from their crotches after a long night of hustling.

We suppose some might dispute Nasser Entertainment's bold claim that Anna Nicole is "the most anticipated motion picture of the year." Still, after watching Bad Girl of Pop Willa Ford's complete and uncompromising transformation into the nonagenarian-sexing bombshell, we will concede that the movie has just shot up our 2008 Must-See List. Something about the way Ford captures Anna's baby-gurgle voice in the line, "I wanna be the next Marilyn Monroehrmphuh," coupled with the movie's Showgirls-on-no-budget production values, makes us feel like the bigwigs at Nasser really nailed this one, producing the kind of instant camp-o-tainment Anna Nicole herself would have starred in had she not been taken from us too soon.

Dannielynn Hope Birkhead, now 18-months-old, has been named sole heir to the Anna Nicole Smith estate by an L.A. Superior Court judge yesterday, as well as the beneficiary of a newly established trust. Larry Birkhead and estate-executor Howard K. Stern are—you guessed it—the co-trustees, a new responsibility which we can only imagine will further prevent them from putting a fucking tombstone on Anna Nicole's grave. [usatoday.com]

On February 8, 2007, a devastated Defamer was glued to CNN, following Dr. Sanjay Gupta and the rest of AnnaDeath 360° team as they offered breathless updates on the not-entirely-shocking (yet still pretty traumatic) loss of Anna Nicole Smith. And yet here we are, a full year later, and Hollywood seems doomed to repeat its trainwreck-glamorizing mistakes. Meanwhile, Smith's legacy carries on via the creepy gentleman-callers who dotted the love polygon that defined much of her life. Larry Birkhead, we well know through a series of soul-deadening The Insider exclusives, has been adjusting to life with his money-pooping paternity jackpot, most recently having plopped the toddler on a patch of grass he assured us was Anna Nicole's resting place, and successfully baby-wrangled his daughter into saying the word "mama" for their cameras.

Larry Birkhead and integrity go together like peanut butter and mayonnaise. While we have never held him in anything even remoting approaching regard, we think that this clip might one day go down as his lowest moment. That goes for those creeps over at The Insider, too. This clip of Birkhead trotting out Dannielynn to the Bahamian gravesite where her mother is buried repulses us on more levels than we care to count. But we'll try.

Trendwatch: The AP's decision to draw up an advance obituary for 26 year old Britney Spears is being replicated for many other young, at-risk stars. The AP got caught without pre-written death stories for Anna Nicole Smith and the recently deceased Brad Renfro, but now the wire service is preparing canned obits for a bunch of 20-somethings. But why bother? After the jump, New York Sun obit guru Stephen Miller says that the AP should just calm down: