Both patrons and employees of the Tatsuda's IGA supermarket in Ketchikan, Alaska were left flabbergasted on Saturday after a black bear cub waltzed into the store and immediately beelined it to the produce aisle, which he then ransacked in the OMG CUTEST way possible. But since all good things must come to an end, our baby bear's running-amok was eventually foiled by an unidentified man, assisted by party-pooping local police. At least we'll always have this video.

Next week, the BBC will debut a series about animal life in the Arctic and Antarctic called Frozen Planet. In this preview clip, male members of an Adelie penguin colony in Antarctica gather stones to build nests while competing for lady penguins in the process. But as you'll see, not all of them do it honestly.

Two zebras escaped from their exhibit at the Franklin Park Zoo in Boston on Saturday, forcing the evacuation of the zoo and briefly sending the city into paroxysms of fear until zookeepers managed to return one to its enclosure and "confine" the other to a "non-public area."

Have you ever been waiting patiently to cross the street, then when it's finally your turn, there's some jerk riding a bike down the middle of the road and you wish you could just run out there and ram right into him but you don't, of course, because then you'd be injured and/or in trouble? Well, this South African Red Hartebeest (let's call him Buck Norris) knows nothing about this "timidity" of which you speak. [via Doobybrain]

News10 producer Duffy Kelly heard about wild turkeys who'd been terrifying the good jogging people of Sacramento, California, and decided to scope the scene out for herself. She barely survived the experience.

A whale that washed up on the Jersey shore recently wasn't killed by natural causes. It was... murder! Whale murder! Now authorities are on the hunt for the shadowy cetacean slayer.

Cats and the internet: They go together like peanut butter and jelly. But until now, we could only enjoy online cats in the most passive of ways. No more! Thanks to the iPet Companion, you can control robotic cat toys at humane shelters around the country with the click of a computerized mouse! You can even move the camera around. It's really fun!

The five million viewers who tuned in for The Great British Bake Off finale that aired Tuesday on the BBC were distracted — and some permanently scarred — by this lingering shot of a squirrel with humongous genitals. Enjoy. [via Daily Mail]

Arizona Department of Public Safety officers stopped traffic on major Phoenix highway during morning rush hour on Thursday in order to save a rabbit from doom. Apparently Arizona cops don't hate all brown living things.

On the eve of Florida's bestiality ban, let's catch up with zoophilic memoirist Malcolm Brenner, whose book Wet Goddess describes a nine-month sexual relationship with a theme park dolphin in Sarasota. After two weeks living in the eye of a bestiality news storm, Brenner lost his job as a photographer and endured harassment. But he's also had sucess: Orders for his book are pouring in faster than he can fill them. He is in touch with an editor at a "large New York publishing house," and has told his story to audiences as far away as India.

Today is the last day that you can legally fuck an animal in Florida. At the stroke of midnight on October 1st, the Sunshine State's new anti-bestiality law goes into effect, forbidding "sexual contact" and "sexual conduct" with "animals." (So it might be illegal to have sex with other humans, too. Molds and fungi, however, are fair game.) Floridians: How do you plan to spend these precious final hours of legal bestiality?

Do you sometimes wish you could shrink your pet crocodile just a little, to make it less frightening and threatening to your family's safety? Sadly, you'll have to make do with your oversized pet for now, but the Americans of the future (if there is a future, ha!) might enjoy smaller crocodiles and other cold-blooded pets thanks to global warming (which isn't actually real).

Attention pig farmers! Thieves who may or may not be operating in "well-organized rings" have been stealing hundreds of pigs owned by your Minnesota and Iowa brethren—most likely to sell as emotional-support animals the pork chops and hams of the future. Your porcine pals could be next!

If you've been gearing up for the annual dog eating festival in Jinhua City, China, you'll have to find something else to do that weekend: "Internet-savvy" animal rights activists and dog lovers convinced the local government to cancel the fest, originally scheduled for October.

Bestiality advocate Malcolm Brenner—author of famed dolphin sex memoir Wet Goddess—is back in the spotlight!

Remember meth-addled Geraldo Martinez, who killed a cat by throwing it out of a seventh-story window after having sex with it? He pleaded guilty to animal torture and received a two-year sentence. The judge dismissed a bestiality charge, because why?

Joan Renee Zalk is a professional yoga instructor and acupuncturist, not a professional dog walker. So please pardon her for not realizing that making a chihuahua run alongside your Toyota Camry while you drive isn't an acceptable dog-walking practice. There's no manual about these things, and she doesn't always get to read the British papers.

What a milestone in gay history today has been! Not only did we mark the official end of the U.S. military's oppressive, anti-gay Don't Ask Don't Tell policy—but also it turns out this species of squid has weird gay sex all the time!

A rare ginger-colored seal pup has been discovered on Russia's Tyuleniy Island, hiding under a pile of logs, hungry and alone. Its seal family abandoned it, likely for being albino. 61-year-old nature photographer Anatoly Strakhov tells the shocking tale of seal colorism to The Daily Mail:

Willow the cat (pictured) was picked up on East 20th Street yesterday, and her microchip led Animal Control to her owners in Colorado — five years after she went missing. Willow's owners "still have her little Christmas stocking." [AP]