Cops Shut Down Highway to Protect Sacred Rabbit
Arizona Department of Public Safety officers stopped traffic on major Phoenix highway during morning rush hour on Thursday in order to save a rabbit from doom. Apparently Arizona cops don't hate all brown living things.
Given that we're talking about America's dystopian desertland of endangered lion-eating gun nuts and state-employed sadists, it seems strange that the officers shut down a road just to rescue a tiny, common creature. The New Times suggests that the cops wanted to get the rabbit off the road before some half-awake motorist caused an accident while swerving to avoid hitting it. Why didn't they just shoot it? Shooting seems like the "Arizona" thing to do.
Maybe this rabbit was special somehow? A desert rabbit shaman, who nests in the purse of a mythical, beheaded Arizona cactus princess and, out of boredom, emerges every so often to exorcise evil spirits from the highways. The officers recognized the rabbit and saved it in order to receive its sacred blessings: stronger teeth, faster legs, and immortality. Either that, or Arizona's getting soft.
The video here presents the rabbit rescue in loop format, so you can watch it again and again—reaching a calm, trance-like state.