Despite its imminent demise, American Idol still danced winsomely for us last night, marking the start of its 9th season with a big, gloopy Boston-set episode. Sob stories and wild-eyed maniacs abounded as always. Though one maniac was sorely missing.

Today Ellen announced Simon Cowell will be leaving American Idol on the very day she begins her stint as a judge. She did not, however, make any predictions about the future of the show in his absence.

Oh, everyone says this thing's gonna end every year, don't they? But this year it's serious, guys. Famousest judge Simon Cowell is putting down the Coke cup in May, and that absolutely means the end. The show cannot go on.

Season one-billion of American Idol hasn't even started yet, and already we're thinking about the end. Simon Cowell, beloved grumpy crumpet judge, will leave at the end of the season to judge the similarly-themed British import, The X Factor.

• NBC finally confirmed yesterday that it's canceling Jay Leno's 10pm show and moving him back to late-night. Whether Conan O'Brien stays at the network or jumps to Fox remains an open question for now. [NYT, TMZ, NYP]
• More bad news for NBC: The network expects to lose money broadcasting the Winter Olympics from Vancouver later this year, which would be a first. [NYT]
• Sarah Palin has signed on to join Fox News as a contributor. Exactly what she'll be doing there—and how much she'll get paid—is unclear. [NYT]
• In case you missed the front-page Times story about Fox News CEO Roger Ailes yesterday, he makes a ton of money for Rupert Murdoch, doesn't get along much with Murdoch's kids, and hates liberals. Oh, and he's armed. [NYT]
• TV news: NBC has ordered six new drama pilots for the fall now that the network is moving Jay Leno out of primetime; CBS reports it's close to signing David Letterman and Craig Ferguson to new contracts; and Fox is renewing Glee for a second season, which should come as a surprise to no one.
• Simon Cowell wasn't kidding when he said he was leaving American Idol? He'll depart the show after the current season to host The X Factor on Fox. [LAT]
• As many as 1,200 AOL employees could get pink-slipped this week. [NYT]
• Avatar continues to rake it in. The movie was No. 1 for a fourth straight weekend and has now grossed $1.34 billion around the world. [MTV]
• Erica Hill is saying goodbye to CNN and is joining CBS News. [NYDN]
• Tucker Carlson's politics site, The Daily Caller, launched today. [WaPo]
• Did NBC try to poach Barbara Walters last year? Seems so. [HP]

A-Rod wanted to do it with Madonna and that's why Kate Hudson broke up with him. Jon Gosselin's freaking out his ex-girlfriends by being Jon Gosselin. Elton john and Eminem, together again. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

If News Corp. and Time Warner can't resolve their spat by tomorrow, Fox is pulling all of its channels from the cable system. Hmm... Is losing American Idol worth never having to see Glenn Beck again?

Basking in the splendor of an IMAX "Avatar" screening? Ogling Jude Law's spiffy Victorian mustache in "Sherlock Holmes"? Or maybe softly weeping at "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel"? Hollywood thanks each and every one of you!

• Golf Digest has decided to "suspend" Tiger Woods' monthly column. Will Condé Nast continue to pay him his $3 million-a-year salary? Unclear. [NYP]
• The Balloon Boy parents were sentenced to 90 days (him) and 20 days (her) today. For what it's worth, Richard Heene says he's "very, very sorry." [AP]
• Alexis Glick, one of Fox Business's first employees, resigned today. [LAT]
• Fox will go ahead with Idol with or without Simon Cowell. Obviously. [THR]
• Another humorless group is whining about MTV's Jersey Shore. [AP]
• The feud between Time Warner/Fox over cable fees is getting nasty. [DF]
• Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts and Mickey Rourke have signed on to present at next month's Golden Globes alongside host Ricky Gervais. [LAT]
• A look back at the wars Rupert Murdoch has waged over the years. [NYM]
• The trailer for Sex and the City 2 was released today. Yes, already. [EW]

This year's record profits weren't enough: Hollywood wants the $20 grandma gave you for Christmas, too, with a raft of big films slated for Christmastime release. "Sherlock Holmes," "It's Complicated" and... uh "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel."

Adam Lambert just wrapped up an appearance on The Jay Leno Show. In the best bits, Lambert talks about dropping out of college, not being "plucked" for Idol, the AMAs controversy and Bill O'Reilly's rumor about him. Also: Lambert's performance.

Before our excitement about next year's Fey/Carell vehicle 'Date Night' even had time to incubate, we're hit with news that the NBC comedy darlings might co-star in another romcom. "30 Rock" + "The Office" = Yes, please.

Sure, reality TV has been around longer, but starting in 2000, it really hit the big time. Everyone professes to hate it, but this cheap, tawdry programming has become an easy staple, and it's changing every minute.

Tonight, NBC premiered The Sing-off—a four-day a cappella group competition that was marketed as a cross between American Idol and Glee—and it was amazing, for all the wrong reasons. Here are the six things I learned while watching.

Apparently Esquire's Tom Junod interviewed Carrie Underwood, but instead of printing a profile, they just listed a bunch of quotes under the headline "What I've Learned," and it's the most unintentionally depressing portrait-in-a-series-of-mosaic-like-glimpses ever.

• Sarah Palin's memoir is officially No. 1 on the US bestseller list, alas. [NYT]
• A Swiss court has granted bail to director Roman Polanski. [Times UK]
• Oprah will sit down with the president as part of a Christmas special. [THR]
• All that drama at the AMAs is boosting sales of Glambert's new album. [LAT]
• Related: Is there a double-standard when it comes to gay performers on network television? CBS's Early Show asks the question, then answers it. [HP]
• Fox is looking forward to the return of Idol and 24 in a few weeks. [NYT]
• New Moon has a lock on the long weekend box office, not surprisingly. [LAT]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy on her decision to appear in Woody Allen's next film: "Maybe I will be terrible. But, in my life, I cannot let such a chance go." [BN]

Adam Lambert has the difficult task of becoming a megastar while being openly gay. How can he be butch enough for the mainstream but gay enough for his homo fans? He can't, and the gays are fighting back already.

Oh, look: metrosexual Bible Details landed America's biggest gay pop star for a cover shoot. A very heterosexual cover shoot. (He sorta kisses a girl!!) No, Details doesn't look gay at all.

Who will the Republicans choose to run for Ted Kennedy's seat in Massachusetts? Probably an ex-porn model named Scott Brown. Here he is, naked, posing for Cosmo in 1982, when male body hair was still cool, thanks to Burt Reynolds.

Some wonder what business lesbian talk show host and non-singer Ellen DeGeneres has being a judge on American Idol. Ellen's reply? "I know I'm going to be a great judge — because I've spent my whole life being judged." [ET]